Alignment in Journal

I have a story. It’s about Blackberry. She is a year old Satin doe (rabbit).

I got Blackberry last year. I had taken up a very generous offer to acquire a Satin in order to improve the Satin Angora breed. So, while I got an incredible deal and a very nice animal, she is worth monetarily at least twice what I paid (just in transport) to acquire her. This may or may not have factored into my choices.

Blackberry did have 2 litters of kits from which I still have living members or descendants. Her first litter, only 3 of 10 survived. Her second, a little better at 5 out of 11 survived. I still have a daughter and a son of that second litter, and a granddaughter out of that first one.
After these first 2 litters, Blackberry just failed to breed, or she did breed and killed her kits, or she had her kits and abandoned them totally.
I had a definite sense that Blackberry was done. Not just having litters, but she was… not really alive, anymore. Her life was ended in every way except the physical.

Now, for whatever reason, I ignored this feeling. I went ahead and tried to save several litters. This last, I tried to graft into Bigwig’s litter. Bigwig fed them. And yet, they withered away. Even as her own litter grew fat around them.
Additionally, as I had the nest box in a cage overnight, as I often do while switching boxes out when there are too many kits or they need to be removed for whatever reason, something climbed into the cage and took Blackberry’s kit. Not Bigwig’s kits. Just Blackberry’s.

Attempting to apply causal logic to such a situation in a materialistic way is just… hopeless. Coincidences and perceptions that do not have concrete material basis are often brushed aside, and that is unfortunately a very Satanic practice.
I’m not saying that metaphysical explanations can be found, but there are Certainly elements of disbelief, lack of faith, and clear misalignment.

And that is the moral of the story. Why? What would have happened if I hadn’t ignored that perception? Would there be something better? Or Worse?
But these are the WRONG questions. It is grasping, striving, fruitless, meaningless, to ask these questions. The only thing I can say for absolute certain is that I had a perception. And, I ignored or disregarded that perception. But what would it have meant?
I have no idea. In fact, I think it is unknowable.
I know that I was not in alignment in this matter.

There is no better time than NOW.
In no figurative sense, but a concrete and literal one, the only time God can be perceived is NOW.
Receiving a perception of supersensible origin is a gift. Being in alignment and receptive is the only way to honor that gift. If one takes it, as I did, in a selfish greedy way, and either discards it, or tries to use it for one’s own gain… well, that is not in Honor. Whatever I was trying to do won’t work out. No matter what I do.

The time in which I perceive a gift, or am presented with information, IS the time to receive it. No- I may not have a perception and then wait. I may not then try to use the perception to my advantage in some way. No, I shan’t worry and construe and make my own little wants and anxieties more important than what is being communicated to me.
There is no better time than NOW. I must prepare myself to receive NOW; the time to receive is so small. So fleeting. I must prepare myself.... better. To be in alignment and a receptive cup in every moment, in every NOW.

This seems to be in contradiction to my newfound perception that… time seems to be expanding on either side of me.
I can see into the future as if it has already happened, before I ever make a choice. It’s as if I feel and experience the consequences of a choice before I’ve made it. And this enables me to choose differently. This happened, regarding my mother’s presence yesterday.

There are many levels and I won’t pretend to know what it all means.