Park Row Fallout ⋅ 35

Midwest Married Man; Attempting to find answers, traverse the waters of life, and figure things out.

Each person feels pain in his own way, each has his own scars.

Haruki Murakami

Entries 1,882

Page 1 of 76

If there is one thing that is pretty obvious about me is that I am an anxious person. Hopefully, I don’t come across like that too much in person. I’d like to seem like a fairly average guy irl...


This is a bit more direct than I usually am. I am guessing this is because being “sexually active” again is allowing me to actually consider sex and sexuality in a “what do you like” perspective...


The title is actually literal. Not like “this life is a nightmare” but like… I had a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from and it trapped me in the realm of Dream for a considerable amount of t...


Everyone just left. “J.D” and “Julia” and Remus and Victoria and Remus and Victoria’s children just left. And how would I assess the evening? I suppose I would call it a success. It certainly ap...


Bugger! Yeah, I know I bitched about this earlier. But I had forgotten that Thanksgiving was just LAST WEEK. Like… ONLY 1 WEEK AGO! WHAT?! Don’t you mean like ONE MONTH AGO?! But… oy. I supp...


Spank my ass and set me on fire. This week has been… interminably busy!! Monday? FULL Court Day then three hours of depositions; stayed at work late. Tuesday? Court Morning then Naked Guy Phone ...


Our state got a grant to help with our immense backlog of untested DNA Kits. So the State paid a French-Canadian Internet Company to build a website to track DNA kits throughout the state. I am ...


So yesterday was extremely fucking busy. Today looks to be extremely fucking busy. Tomorrow is going to be extremely fucking busy. Thursday is going to be extremely fucking busy. So… there yo...


7 days ago

Briefly in Trying to Hold On

I haven’t much time today as it is a Juvenile Court Day. I’ll read when I can. Martha came home last night and we had a fairly productive discussion. She says that she actually did know this w...


As I am unsure of exactly the best way to navigate this website and my new life; I felt a small introduction would be in order. An ice breaker, if you will. This may be out of order, but I find p...



Friday evening, or Saturday morning however you like it… I had trouble sleeping. Just… the usual trouble. The kind of thing that doesn’t really bother me that much. But I realized I was a bit ...


Oh my dear dear friends; I write this after consuming sufficient quantities of alcohol and after reading Martha’s “Thanksgiving Note.” She says she loves me. She says she is thankful for all of...


November 28, 2019

HTD USA in Trying to Hold On

Happy Thanksgiving Day to my United States friends! I wrote something last night that is not time sensitive and will be just as true in a few days as it was last night. But I will release that wh...


All right folks, I have to be honest with you: I’ve been absolutely HORRID about reading anything of yours. Ever since the play started, I’ve had less and less time and stopped reading and got b...


November 27, 2019

Yup in Trying to Hold On

Yesterday was really a pretty standard evening in all respects. Left work and went to Therapy. My therapist, methinks, works so much with children that she enjoys the prospect of working with an...


November 26, 2019

Song Survey in Trying to Hold On

Well, I have a long entry HERE that I do care about notes and interactions. But everyone should be rewarded with light and music, so here is a song survey for funsies :) 1: A song you like with ...


This may be a bit of a long read. Just fair warning. When I came home, I expected the same thing I have encountered when coming home for the past infinity months. I was even grumbling internall...


Warning: This is rambling and disjointed. If I were writing this for an academic paper… it would be more logical. Instead, right now, I’m just playing with ideas. “You deserve to be happy”. It ...


Let’s take things back to Saturday. Wife is upstairs crying as she is doing book stuff. I am downstairs playing video games trying to power through. Am I going to miss her? Hell yeah. Do I ...


November 24, 2019

The Two Songs in Trying to Hold On

The two songs going through my head today?


This is the Twilight Zone Version of my life. The normal goings on of my house for many many weeks has been as follows: Chris comes home from work or play practice. Nala freaks out all happy. Wi...


November 23, 2019

It's Done... in Trying to Hold On

… but it has only just begun. I made it to the Couple’s Counselor about 6 minutes before the session was supposed to start. Time for session came and went. Therapist asked if Wife was still in ...


November 22, 2019

As Expected in Trying to Hold On

Talked to my parents. Hard to keep myself from crying… well sobbing. My parents are understanding. At least understanding of my perspective. Confused as hell about Wife’s perspective. Becaus...


November 22, 2019

The Last Day in Trying to Hold On

It is a cold day and I have fibromyalgia. But the truth is, I cannot honestly say with confidence that this body pain that I am feeling throughout my entire body is because of that cold or becau...