littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
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m15 in idea barrages
“Why don’t pictures like this never trend?” Because they’re weird janky AI fakes, that’s why. Maybe if they were of real things that actually happened, sure, they would actually trend. But s...
The good news is, you won’t remember this when you wake up in the morning. The bad news is, you won’t remember this when you wake up in the morning. This won’t be completely forgotten, of course...
m13 in idea barrages
Lately, Kid Rock looks like he’s been spending all day coating raw chicken in meth and then rubbing it all directly into his eyeballs. Combine the viral Wonka experience thing with all t...
m11 in idea barrages
The fourth less-well-known wise man brought, you know, diapers, formula, a baby carriage, stuff like that. He was the Practical Magi, see? Garfield is actually short for “Gartholomew”. ...
m9 in idea barrages
The weirdest thing about how around the bend on materialism we are is that, like, if you want your children to end up good people, the easiest way to make sure that never happens is to be ri...
prompt: manic, title: to halve and to hold in misc. flash fiction
The hold requests at a library can be a hell of a thing, sometimes, the books requested by patrons at other libraries in our system. Often it isn’t the actual requests that are weird, rather the...
m7 in idea barrages
The weirdest thing about how around the bend on materialism we are is that, like, if you want your children to end up good people, the easiest way to make sure that never happens is to be ri...
don't be a hero in poetry
donald trump raped all those kids fortune and fame are our american poison michael jackson raped those kids fortune and fame are nothing to brag about harvey weinstein raped all those women and...
m5 in idea barrages
It’s a hell of a thing, we don’t get to be gods in flesh or by half as demigods or anything like that. We all just got this little faint stain of it there in our almost entirely animal mixtu...
m3 in idea barrages
What’s a well-edited essay’s blood called? Typo negative. A medieval bard version of Salad Fingers called Ballad Fingers. I am so sorry you cannot enjoy the wonderful taste of cilant...
m1 in idea barrages
Kazoos! For when you want to punish your friends for having kids but you can’t quite afford to buy their brats a drum kit. An Austin Powers sequel entirely built around the fact that eve...
prompt: gone, title: justice and justifications in misc. flash fiction
I’ve spent my entire life obsessed with trying to figure out where stories come from, how they work, how we can make new ones and better ones. When I was little, I wanted folks to think I was sm...
a29 in idea barrages
Someone mentioned that Jane Pauley hosts some weekend thing on CBS now and, honestly, I thought she’d died like 20 years ago. Is this a “Mandela Effect” thing or do I just watch so little br...
a27 in idea barrages
I’d rather help imperfectly than not help perfectly. A satire of how Iron Man’s alcoholism story arcs have aged like milk, using the Rocketeer’s addiction to clove chewing gum, and then ...
a25 in idea barrages
A movie about a test tube baby mix up called SPERMS AND CONDITIONS MAY APPLY. Kids: MOM, BUY US JIMI HENDRIX! Mom: We have Jimi Hendrix at home. (The kids’ faces droop in disappointment ...
prompt: button, title: somebody once told me in misc. flash fiction
To say all war is about power is nakedly self-evident, of course. It’s all about power. Every flesh rendered into a chunky salsa, every hospital set on fire, every city incinerated with its popu...
a23 in idea barrages
There’s something simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking about seeing someone devoted to a celebrity who would think of them as less than human and wouldn’t cross the street to spit on t...
a21 in idea barrages
LESS BAD BOYS, LESS BAD GIRLS, MORE WEIRD BOYS, MORE WEIRD GIRLS Ronald allows the Hamburglar to get away with his harmless petty attempted crimes, not out of the goodness of his clown h...
a19 in idea barrages
A Culture Club parody about the ambiguous irrelevance of the semi colon called “Comma Chameleon”. Shape cold cuts into beautiful bologna peonies. EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES could’ve...
a17 in idea barrages
A hamburger eating competition should always be a double elimination tournament. After being widowed by three rich old men, she took on the nickname Mysterious Circumstances, which they ...
prompt: want, title: a farewell to harm in misc. flash fiction
Wading through a media landscape rigged to convince us caring about others is for chumps, that empathy is just an obstacle to buying more rape yachts, that each person who doesn’t agree with you...
a15 in idea barrages
If you call your roofing company “HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA”, like, 83% of the internet becomes a stealth ad for you. A middle-aged middle-class Deftones cover band called “The Geofftone...
a13 in idea barrages
It’s a shame Marvel already established her as being Canadian because if you had Squirrel Girl coming from New Jersey, Ms. Marvel could be like “Oh, I’m from Jersey City, where are you from?...
a11 in idea barrages
ALADDIN but the genie is hard of hearing and he turns him into a ladder. It is always important to remember that the Columbine murderers were not put-upon nerds reacting to bullying. The...
prompt: save, title: the highway less traveled in idea barrages
Rick, a middle-aged tax accountant with a wife and four kids from the suburbs in Orange County California, hovered above the roadside alongside the archangel Samael, both immaterial. Unseen by a...
