littlefallsmets ⋅ 42

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 4,302

Page 1 of 173

4 hours ago

oct 17 in idea barrages

When you consider that “Fe” is the atomic symbol for iron, Ironman totally could’ve called himself FeMale. I mean, yes, sometimes you just sing the lyrics to Space Cowboy over Fiona Apple’s C...

2 days ago

oct 16 in idea barrages

An instance of cannibalism in Turkey would be great for a “Donner kebab” joke. When one publicly admits to fetish wear, are they “coming out of the corset”? I’d certainly eat at a barbecue ...

Fascination almost always starts out as fear, a fear that is eventually overcome while that focus lingers on. It’s a feature that seems to come standard with any level of sentience, human, animal...

2 days ago

oct 15 in idea barrages

Everyone overlooks their less-well-known neighbors, Carlsadequate Caverns. If someone yells “IT’S ADAM AND EVE, NOT ADAM AND STEVE!” yell back at them “IT’S BEN AND JERRY, NOT JEN AND BARRY!”...

2 days ago

oct 14 in idea barrages

If you read all of your own personal problems into the movies you watch, whether or not they actually resonate, are you a film projector? The reclusive toy car magnate, Willy Tonka. Conside...

2 days ago

oct 13 in idea barrages

When you sign a predatory student loan at 17 you’re supposed to see through the consequences of your actions, but when you’re a 35 year old dentist who broke into the Capitol to try & murde...

5 days ago

oct 12 in idea barrages

45 scarves is a “Stevie Nicks” worth of scarves. Rejected R.E.M. tracks like “What’s The Median, Stephen?” and “What’s The Mode, Gerard?” That’s a real Gerard Depardon’t. A Soundgarden so...

6 days ago

winter in poetry

in the winter, the earth scabs over white blood cells bundled up coating the wounds inflicted from three long seasons of birth and death strife and storms rot and germination the earth...

7 days ago

oct 11 in idea barrages

A Christmas version of IRON CHEF hosted by Santa Claus and at the beginning, he yells “JOLLY CUISINE!” Halloween parody of “Golddigger” called “Gravedigger”. CARTOON ALL STARS was and is st...

October 09, 2021

heart in poetry

my heart is a space made to push from place to place throbbing and pushing, contrived too scared to live too scared to die too scarred to be sacred too scarred to forgive ...

October 08, 2021

oct 10 in idea barrages

The part of the brain that remembers 90s one-hit wonders is called The Lisa Lobe. The weirdest Pokémon of all would be Giglipuff. I feel like it’d be fun to convince someone that “finsta” w...

October 08, 2021

oct 9 in idea barrages

Updating the cataloguing for the reference section of the library where I work, I realized at last what people did before facebook: extensive exhaustive family genealogies. As a person who su...

October 08, 2021

oct 8 in idea barrages

I think if you wanted to come up with the worst aesthetic ever, “the bastard child of Ed Hardy and Lisa Frank” would be a good place to start. Do the neo-fascists know that whenever we see th...

October 05, 2021

oct 7 in idea barrages

Does Oscar The Grouch refer to a one-night-stand as a “grump-and-dump”? Some lessons about British history are literally Tutorials. A candy tie-in to the new DUNE movie: “Many Great Sweets ...

October 05, 2021

oct 6 in idea barrages

PAUL BLART MALL COP 3: ACHY-BREAKY BLART A cut of vegan meat substitute called “beef pretenderloin”. Whenever someone’s complaining about Big Pharma, pretend you think they’re saying “Big F...

October 05, 2021

oct 5 in idea barrages

Rival emos battle each other in sadiatorial combat. You will perform mediocre neo-Celtic rock tripe but at least it will all the lyrics be about Bill Murray films. You will carve out a cult n...

“Is this place hallowed,” asked the cleric, canvassing what remained after the awful battle, “or is it merely hollowed-out?” “I don’t follow,” replied the bard, his only friend who had survived t...

October 02, 2021

oct 4 in idea barrages

A southern-rock alternative to the R&B/Soul of the California Raisins called “The Almond Brothers”. People thought ODB was singing all nasty about sex when, really, he just really loved s...

October 02, 2021

oct 3 in idea barrages

On one hand, of course we should make fun of Nickelback. They are bad and they should feel bad. On the other, it’s weird to focus all the scorn JUST on them. Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, the...

October 02, 2021

oct 2 in idea barrages

Yes, a normal spider is disturbing, but imagine a DADDY LUNG LEGS. Just… lungin’ around all lungy. A square slice of cheap pizza is a cesarean section. Why say “plagurism” when you can say ...

September 30, 2021

oct 1 in idea barrages

A hot dog stand review site called “”. I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said “oh, he’s still alive, good for him” when I saw that the guy who played Carlton on Fresh Prince is apparent...

September 30, 2021

sept 30 in idea barrages

My knowledge base is ultimately a lot like a Kardashian: annoyingly shallow yet pleasingly wide. Success is fleeting and rare but in failure? In failure, baby, we are all united. Where woul...

September 30, 2021

sept 29 in idea barrages

If they were going to call the show “The Big Bang Theory” then they owed us witnessing all the characters dying a heat death in the end. It would’ve been the first interesting thing to happen i...

September 28, 2021

maybe it helps in poetry

it helps to remind yourself you’re the one who chose to be here maybe just to learn a lesson maybe to perform some noble deed maybe to fulfill a cosmic lark maybe provide a solid ...

September 26, 2021

sept 28 in idea barrages

She was briefly obsessed with lawn darts but that was just a summer fling. The lawns have risen to overthrow their suburban oppressors in GERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT HAY. Batman was disappointe...

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