littlefallsmets ⋅ 44
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,048
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july 27 in idea barrages
“Show About Minor Star Wars Expanded Universe Character Who Didn’t Need More Back Story #2957” just doesn’t wow me into a watch and I’m sorry, I know this makes me a terrible Internet Person, b...
“I mean, all mystic traditions go back to the same source,” the Amazing Mitzi once told Frank in The Magic Castle near closing time, “I can’t say I don’t believe my way is the closest to true, bu...
july 25 in idea barrages
Every time some fringe group predicts an End-Time and it inevitably passes, I like to imagine that there was a Rapture, like seven or eight years ago, but like only four or five people qualifie...
july 23 in idea barrages
I look back on Bowie’s lyrics and how much of his work was as kind of a modern musical de Tocqueville, an outsider’s eye writing about America and understanding it better than we can ourselves ...
july 21 in idea barrages
Say what you will about Beanie or Funko but at least you receive a physical item. Even when you finally realize that speculative investment is a dumber form of gambling, you still have an ornam...
july 19 in idea barrages
Move to Montana’s capital. Start a restaurant called “Helena’s Ham Basket”. It will be worth it, if only for the meme. This push to re-invent Martha Stewart as a feminist icon is so bizarre. ...
“It’s about vampires, you know.” She looked up from an endless pile of biology finals in front of her. She’d been in a grading fugue state and couldn’t tell if she’d been at it for ten minutes or...
july 17 in idea barrages
EMPATHCIZE! It’s like AEROBECIZE or JAZZERCIZE, except we just put on spandex and try our best to understand the feelings others. Scratch the surface of anyone laboring so hard to live a perf...
july 15 in idea barrages
I will post every time I hear a person’s name that can be sang with the same rhythm as “Eleanor Rigby” and they’ll have to take this stupid phone outta my cold dead heads to stop me. An acous...
july 13 in idea barrages
Don’t call it your “list of weird fetishes” call it your “boner fides”. In that one Steven Seagal movie “Under Siege” back when he was funny-bad instead of sad-bad and he played a Navy Seal/c...
july 11 in idea barrages
Why say “that mentat is practically tattooed by the Juice of Sapho!” when you can say “that Thufir Hawat, he’s a real think-stained wretch!” A drag performer reads to children under 30 pounds...
july 9 in idea barrages
I now want a story where Columbo is the man who sent Hannibal Lechter to prison and, like, Hannibal wasn’t even mad, he saw through Columbo’s playing-dumb act in the first two minutes he met hi...
knowledge isn’t power knowledge is the opposite of power knowledge is the antidote to power power is everything ugly and ignorant about being a human being knowledge isn’t power knowled...
july 7 in idea barrages
A BEAUTIFUL MIND except it’s A BEAUTIFUL MID and he’s, like, just a little crazy and pretty good at math. My prison name would be Mitochrondria, of course, as I would be the powerhouse of the...
july 5 in idea barrages
The Renaissance Faire may have made a mistake when they called their fashion competition a “Jerkin Off”. I’m by no means a prude about gambling but I kind of miss sports talk. Now that sports...
prompt: heat, title: the post-modern sisyphus in misc. flash fiction
Working in a library is, at its essence, a daily battle with the universal force of Entropy. I mean, sure, every other job is as well, just living is temporary defeat of physics’ tendency to degr...
july 3 in idea barrages
I often wonder why Americans call it “the eighth grade” Canadians call it “grade eight” and I guess Brits call it “eighth year”. They’re so close to each other, it’s all the same language more ...
july 1 in idea barrages
It’s always been weird to me how most people imagine military faster-than-light space travel as being like an airplane or a sailing ship. I have to imagine it would feel so much more like a sub...
june 29 in idea barrages
One thing you can do is press on your navel whenever you urinate, and pretend you’re actually some kind of cool weird dispenser machine instead of an animal that was born and will die. Add a li...
There’s nothing sexy or narratively compelling to being “discovered” when you’re thirty-eight and fat. No one near the reins of our current media culture believes there is, anyway. If you are twe...
june 27 in idea barrages
maybe Yoda wasn’t from a distinct species at all. maybe a halfling and a goblin loved each other very very much and… If bread is called “the staff of life”, is pizza called the ciiiiiiiiiiiii...
june 25 in idea barrages
Mario and Luigi’s mother was named Mia, that’s why they go around yelling “Mama Mia!” al the time. Seriously, bill collectors and telemarketers both, if you call me and I answer the phone and...
june 23 in idea barrages
I enjoy the weird confluence of how now all genre media is about terrible timelines and then we all go on social media and post about them on our own terrible timelines. Cinnamon Twists: the ...
june 21 in idea barrages
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach become entertainment executives. Has there been a jukebox-musical made out of Springsteen’s work called THE BRUCCICAL yet? A...
june 19 in idea barrages
An Eric Clapton parody explaining the hierarchy of angels in Catholic mythology called “Tiers In Heaven”. The head canon that the warriors of Eternia aren’t wearing pants at all, they are jus...
