Entries 406

Page 6 of 17

I pushed them out…

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I have only college to look forward to. Relationship to good to be true. I dont want bragging or yelling so no more comments. The days go by as a blur. Have to try again to get my license. Everyt...

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I spoke to Nelson last night. I’m a horrible friend. I woke up sick.and I just want to die. I want to die so bad.

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I’m ill. Not with covid. I feel sick from everything, just everything. I might vomit soon. But anyway, we gotta get serious. Life is short and the way I’m fucking my body up now it’ll be a lot f...

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I’m about to go to bed. I’ve been bored all day. Lonely, anxious, bored. Sleeps my only escape. My body my mainframe hurts when I eat. No one will date me or live me romantically. I’m so tired. H...

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I want him to notice me I’ve been busy but today it came back. The feelings, they hurt me. I wonder if there’s just something wrong with me. I wish we could have normal conversations. He didn’t e...

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He didnt want the gift. It was a horrible gift anyway who wants a letter for a gift. I cut myself off from any other mental health server owner, after what the few did I dont trust any of the oth...

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Tiring

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I woke from crying in my sleep from nightmares and now I just feel exhausted but to scared to sleep. Yesterday was hell.

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I guess I wanted to talk to him…its stupid

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I honestly dont like or care for them anymore. I feel defeated and empty.

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I wrote him a letter as gift. It was stupid gift and he has better things to do then read a stupid letter. With tons of more pretty girls to look at…I saw another today and just curled up in bed ...

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blows confetti blower today’s the day today’s the day. It’s our one month anniversary ^*^ I have to start on his gift I’m so excited and happy and ahhhhhh.

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The anticipation of a message is killing me. It’s almost time for our anniversary, one month. I reread our messages over and over analyzing everything I could. I hope he messages today, I won’t ...

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I woke up today, like yesterday feeling sick and exhausted. But happy at first because maybe he messaged me! But he didn’t…I can wait though. My face was hurting because I smiling so hard at the ...

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I woke up today feeling dead. It’s like your entire body and mind hurts, it was really hard to deal with. But god fucking damnit I felt so happy! Everything had worked out and I’m never going to...

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Applied to Penn State today, it feels like a dream I cried during my personal statement…anyway so happy I have been offered a merit scholarship by my first at hood college ^^ Also it’s almost tim...

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So much happened this week ;-; I argued with so many random people.

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Is it weird to try and write poetry for xmas gifts? Idk…I want to write him love poems, ballads???? But I can’t sing…

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I feel exhausted and sad. I just want to be happy again with everyone and have a good life. But it’s always my fault…I just…want to end it.

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I woke up dizzy today, nauseated. If I went to the hospital would anybody visit me? I don’t know. I have issues with my paycheck so we have to get it checked out today when I go to work. I just w...

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I wish he would just answer my messages. I feel bad. I felt scared yesterday and now I feel sick.

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I mean he’s so cute…idk I feel like I’m to ugly for him ;-;

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Their fine but I just feel done.

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I had someone say today they thought that I hated them and that they had tried to kill themselves, it felt hinted like it was my fault. I couldn’t…I just cried Ben crying but I couldn’t even spea...

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