Entries 1,158
Page 5 of 47
More thoughts.
We’ve been up super early this morning. We’ve already gotten breakfast and back home. It was supposed to snow last night but it didn’t. It’s cold and a bit breezy today. I think my daughter will ...
So...
I didn’t write much yesterday. I got a text from my brother this morning saying he has court again on the 21st and if he hasn’t paid anything he’s going to be arrested. I know that I probably won...
Breakfast, Christmas Program.
I got the message last night that family breakfast was this morning. My daughter was up and around very early. I think she was kinda nervous about her Christmas program. She did absolutely incred...
Wednesday.
I never did make an entry yesterday. I went to my thing at 2pm and just talked about the program, the hours, always focus on positive behavior blah blah blah and then I got a few things from the ...
Monday.
This morning went well. My daughter took a long nap yesterday afternoon. We had pizza for dinner. She took her coat to school to give it to her friend because we have another one and the one she ...
Sunday.
My brother was asking us to come over and have Thanksgiving dinner with them last night but after all of them had been sick, I was too afraid that their house would have left over germs so we did...
Friday night/this morning.
I wasn’t sure on when to get my kid last night but I knew she was tired so I picked her up about an hour and a half before they closed. I was worried she would come out crying because she wasn’t ...
Good things.
My daughter woke up in a good mood which always makes me happy. I got her to school, got my breakfast and then went to my thing. There was only 2 of us in there. They were all in their little roo...
Bad mood.
I got my daughter to school, breakfast. Came home, talked to my friend on the phone and then went to my thing. There was something said about them giving people laptops to take home. I send a tex...
Wednesday.
So my daughter was super excited for me to drive her to school and then wait with her before she went inside. It definitely made my day. I got my sandwich and coffee, came home for a little bit a...
I have my whip!
So, I called my thing and told them I’m still waiting to hear about my car. She told me to call them and see if they can at least give an estimate for the bill. I called and they said they were a...
Monday morning.
My brother came and we took my kid to school. I said bye to her as I saw adults coming onto the playground. I usually stay until the bell rings and walk with her until she goes inside but my brot...
Sunday.
My brother came and got us around noon yesterday and then brought us home about 5am. My daughter slept until about 1 this afternoon and I’ve been up since around 11. I made ham and cheese crossan...
Another day.
I’ve decided to get Paramount because it’s only $2/month for the next 3 months and we’ve just been sitting around watching our shows all day. I’ve drank a crap load of coffee and just enjoyed the...
Thanksgiving.
I made breakfast for us and I drank some coffee. We probably won’t have anyone to hang out with us today. My brother and his family are going to his girlfriend’s Dad’s house so it’s going to be j...
The car.
So I called and they aren’t going to be able to get it in until Monday or Tuesday. I don’t even know how to begin processing this information. My daughter has been screaming at me all day because...
OMG.
So, the tow truck driver that came to jump my car....I have one helluva story. So he literally brought me a battery, installed it and then wouldn’t let me pay him. I thought that was super nice a...
Car problems.
I was really up half the night worrying about my car. I tried to start it several times with my power pack but it just won’t go. I woke up this morning and decided to have roadside assistance com...
Slept in.
My daughter slept til 8 this morning. I still got up early but I was able to just lay in bed and play on my phone I was going to bake some cookies to have with breakfast but she wanted to go get ...
Um...
I really go get my kid from her after school program last night where she tells me that her ‘Dad’ stopped by to see her and that she was to keep it a secret from me. It’s been 3 months since he’s...
Last day before break.
I woke up a tad grumpy this morning and got my daughter to school. I got some stuff at the grocery store and bought cat food. There’s a pair of shoes I want to get for her but there’s 2 different...
Didn't happen.
I got my kid to school and then came home. The girl from my thing finally showed up and took me over there. They put in an IV and I changed into scrubs. My doctor came in and basically we decided...
Busy day!
I got my kid to school and then sat in my thing for about an hour and a half. I took my car to the tire store and then my lady picked me up where she took all of us to get interview clothes. We t...
Life.
I really went to my thing right after I got my daughter to school. My favorite lady that works in there said she put in her notice and her last day is next week. It’s just further motivation for ...
More threats.
So my brother and his family came last night and we hung out until very early this morning. My brother text saying that he claims to be ‘filing papers’ again and I should expect a summons. Again ...
Book Description
I’m really not into switching to another site but it looks like OD is going offline in the next few days. I downloaded my diary but it looks way different and doesn’t seem like all my entries are in it and that makes me very sad. I’ve gone through so much in the past 3 years and everything is documented on OD.
Anyway, I’m just exhausted from work and school. I love that I have so much going on and I am creating a better future for myself but getting enough sleep is always a task. I still have to take TYlenol PM every night or else I will be wide awake until I do. I am just so sick of it. I miss being able to go to sleep on my own. There’s just so much going on nowadays and I don’t want to spend all my free time at home sleeping.
I got most of my homework done and I feel pretty good about that. I’m glad that i’m in an easy math class this semester because that is my toughest subject. I love my computer class because it’s stuff that I already know how to do, I’ll just get better at it and learn a few things along the way.
So it looks like I’ll be going to court on the 21st for my small claim lawsuit against the place that fucked me over on my car. I talked to the mechanic today that worked on it and he said that he would go to court with me but I never believe they’ll actually do what they say until the time comes. I really hope he does because his statement is really important and I just don’t know who else is going to come with me.
I still don’t have much to do with my family. My Mom is probably the biggest bitch I’ve ever known and I just can’t stand trying to talk to her one the phone. I called her yesterday to let her know when the court date will be because I couldn’t hear her because they were in the car with the windows down because they were smoking and I tried to tell her I couldn’t hear her and she got all defensive so I hung up. I was just too fucking tired to deal with her attitude and how rude she is to me so I hung up and went about my day.
I decided that if they don’t give me any money when they get their taxes that I will be completely cutting them out of my life. I helped them with $1,300 in the month that I borrowed her car and gave it back with a full tank of gas so I do expect even $40 when they get their taxes. Her and my Dad both told me that they would give me some but I really doubt they actually will because they NEVER pay anyone back and that’s why no one helps them anymore but I almost lost my car and got my cable shut off from helping them and I just feel like if they don’t even attempt to pay me back then they didn’t appreciate me helping. I know that I need to cross them off regardless if they pay me back or not but if I don’t hear from them when they get their taxes, that will be the last fucking straw for me. My family has done nothing but use me and shit on me my entire life so I don’t expect much but it’s just sad how much they have fucked me over and the negative affect they’ve had on my life.
It’s been nice to be off today and yesterday, it’s been much needed. I just feel like I never get enough sleep and being sleep deprived all the time is really not good. I’m glad to have just been at home to hang out, sleep, take a hot bath and get most of my homework done. I hate feeling like I never get enough sleep and I feel like I walk around like a zombie most of the time. What made it worse was having to get up 3 days in a row and 2 of those days was dropping my car off to get some shit fixed. It’s nice to take my car to the mechanic and not have to deal with a bunch of drama to get it back. I don’t have to worry about anything and that alone makes me grateful to have a different car.
My ex is still on my mind quite a bit, more than what i want him to be. I just can’t understand why I can’t just forget about him and move on. I’m still stuck on why he treated me so badly and how he did everything he could to convince me that it was completely acceptable for us to never see each other and that if was fine for him to never include me in his life at all. I was just fighting a losing battle and wouldn’t let go of it. I know that it’s because I had no one else and loneliness was a huge factor but I will NEVER again let someone talk to me like he did. Just because he didn’t call me names like my ex John did, doesn’t mean he was any less abusive. He said some of the most awful things about not only me but people I loved and cared about. He got sick pleasure from knowing how much he brought me down. My friend at work said that I need to find happiness within myself and she’s right. I need to work on myself and figure out my feelings towards my past before I try to find another relationship because it wouldn’t be fair if I met someone now because they would suffer from how others have treated me and I’m not ready to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice to have someone to do shit with in my free time and I would love the company but I need to figure out myself first. My ex left behind a very confused, hurt, shattered person and I need to fix what he did to me, not by finding someone new but learning how to be comfortable within myself and focus on school and work and just doing me before trying to bring someone into my life.
