Self employment. in Since OD is shutting down....

Being a single Mom with no village and going years without getting CS or any help from the other parent really starts to mess with your head. I had to talk with a caseworker today about food stamps and how I have to fill out the self employment ledgers and I need to turn the one for February in like tomorrow. I don’t know how to put down my mileage and certain expenses so I need to try and reach someone to get help.

This deal where I’ve never had reliable childcare has really put a crimp in me getting/keeping jobs so therefore I have relied heavily on welfare. I’ve relied on it to the point where I am scared to work a lot and get cut off benefits. The benefits have been the only consistent thing my daughter and I have ever had. I have to report all of my income and I worry how that will affect everything. She mentioned how I have gotten 2 CS payments but I don’t know if that will be consistent or not. He’s gone literal years without paying and there’s no telling if he’s going to work consistently now or not. The payments are about $100 short of what they are supposed to be and I’m not sure if the state is taking some or he’s working part time and they can only take so much. They want me to call my caseworker tomorrow and ask.

I need to figure out my car situation. I do not want a car note whatsoever as that is fucking miserable. I also can’t seem to find something decent for like 2K either. I’d rather just save up money and buy something outright for numerous reasons. I haven’t had a car payment in about 5 years now and it’s been the greatest time of my entire life. I had bought 2 cars with payments from a place and they would still act like I was trying to rip them off and shit. I looked on their website and they have a car I’d like to buy and it would be a short term loan, like 18 months but it already has close to 200K on it.

My decisions would be a lot easier to make if I ever had anyone to rely on. At least with a car note, they help you with repairs and just add the bill to your loan. I am so tired of worrying about being on foot every time my car breaks down. I also worry that he is only going to pay CS for so long and then it’s completely on me again. If I at least knew he was going to just pay it, I wouldn’t worry as much about getting a car loan.

Back in 2013, I had gotten ripped off bad by a mechanic. I had paid for parts and some of the labor for them to replace the tranny and they wouldn’t fix my car, they wouldn’t let me take it and they wouldn’t give my money back. For 2 months. I then worked 2 jobs and my Mom let me use her car for a bit where I was stuck paying the insurance on both of their vehicles, had to spend money on repairs for her car that I was driving and had to give them money every time I saw them which was almost daily. I would have been better off just financing a fucking car. By the time I got my car back, I didn’t have even a dollar in my account because I had been fucked over by that mechanic and my parents soaked me for every last dime they could get. They have a knack for ‘helping’ when you are as down and out as possible.