Public

Since OD is shutting down....

by justme25

Entries 1,161

Page 3 of 47

February 15, 2024

V Day.

So I got my daughter to school. Ate my breakfast and had my iced caramel coffee from McDonald’s. I decided to do my side hustle. I went up until about an hour before I got my kid from school. I g...


February 14, 2024

I need new brakes.

My daughter and I ran errands this morning where I noticed my brakes are starting to grind. Not a huge issue but the sooner my brother puts new pads on the less expensive this is going to be. I’m...


February 13, 2024

I ended my employment.

It’s been a really emotional day and I’m beyond thankful that it’s getting to be bedtime. I just drug my ass out of my bed and home to get to work. I walked in planning to work and my boss walks ...


February 12, 2024

Still waiting.

I am still waiting for the word that I’m going back to my old job. My friend mentioned my worry about childcare but I also can’t worry about not making enough money to survive either. No matter w...


February 12, 2024

A different perspective.

I’ve been networking with people trying to find childcare at night and on weekends so I can go back to the type of job I did before. Working in the after school program isn’t my jam and I have to...


February 11, 2024

Quit smoking.

So it’s been 2 days now. I’ve put on patches both days to help with the withdraw. I’m doing alright. I still miss it and my emotions aren’t stable. I’m definitely having moments where I feel like...


February 09, 2024

Yesterday.

It’s Friday morning. We had got done setting up yesterday and I was talking about how the kid said that none of them respect me. My boss basically told me that respect is earned and how even if s...


February 09, 2024

Like wow.

So work is whatever. I was talking to a co-worker yesterday and how it’s hard for the kids to respect me after seeing that other guy talk to me like he does and a kid overheard that and said how...


February 07, 2024

Work yesterday.

I get to work and we set up. The principal came and got me and we talked. She basically said that they have flagged my account so if he shows up, they’ll call me. Since he’s not on the BC they ha...


February 07, 2024

So...

I went down to the pick up the papers and the judge denied issuing a temporary PO and we have court on the 26th at 1:30. I’m sure that he didn’t issue it because I stupidly dropped the other one....


February 06, 2024

It's done.

I got my daughter to school and then went and filed. I was told it can take a day or two for the judge to sign it. I didn’t add my daughter to it because I feel that he can figure out that on his...


February 05, 2024

Tomorrow is the day.

I go file another protection order. I talked to my brother while we were at his house last night and he helped convince me not to add my daughter to it. I am lowkey hoping that because my employm...


February 03, 2024

I need advice.

I’ve been thinking a lot about getting another protection order. I just don’t know if that’s the thing to do or not. He had to have known that him coming to her school would be humiliating for me...


February 03, 2024

New drama.

So I get to work yesterday. We set up. Then I have the office lady come over and tell me there was some man there to see my kid. I turn around and he’s walking over to me. I ask what he was doing...


February 01, 2024

Empty.

I really left here early and got my kid for her dentist appointment. Everything went well and she doesn’t have any cavities. We don’t have to go back until the end of July. We get back to school ...


January 30, 2024

Monday again.

My daughter said last night that the weekend went really fast. We didn’t do much. She did take a 3 hour nap yesterday. I was able to eat chili and watch most of a movie. I wish I would have done ...


January 26, 2024

It's Friday.

We got up super early. Probably because we are both excited that it’s almost the weekend. I have absolutely lost my shit though. My daughter has ruined almost all of her pants by putting holes in...


January 26, 2024

Work.

Okay so I’ve been really busy with work this week. I’m so glad it’s Thursday and we have 1 more day until the weekend. So last night, I got yelled at because I left kids alone for a minute to let...


January 21, 2024

Work and drama.

So yesterday, Friday work went a lot better. I definitely had a better night and I’m grateful for that. Everyone was a lot more friendly and social. Probably because it was the end of the week. I...


January 20, 2024

I hate it all.

Work was just stupid last night and I would be happy to never go back. People are just so rude and I seriously don’t make enough money to put up with it. I am diligently looking for another job a...


January 18, 2024

CPR class is done!

So I worked yesterday and was able to leave a little early. My friend had some groceries delivered to me by mistake so I came home and put that stuff away. I was able to eat before I went to my c...


January 18, 2024

Wednesday.

I got my kid ready and off to school. It’s pretty cold but above zero. I’m going to take a shower soon and get myself ready. Tonight I have my class and have the stress of hoping my brother comes...


January 16, 2024

Last day of break.

I ended up getting some extra money that I definitely did not expect so we went and did breakfast. My daughter’s been asking to get adjusted so we went and did that as well. I stopped and got toi...


January 16, 2024

Smoothies.

We had breakfast and then went and got a smoothie maker. We had one for a long time and then I threw it away because I couldn’t take it apart to clean it properly and it looked gross. My daughter...


January 16, 2024

Smoothies.

We had breakfast and then went and got a smoothie maker. We had one for a long time and then I threw it away because I couldn’t take it apart to clean it properly and it looked gross. My daughter...


Book Description

I’m really not into switching to another site but it looks like OD is going offline in the next few days. I downloaded my diary but it looks way different and doesn’t seem like all my entries are in it and that makes me very sad. I’ve gone through so much in the past 3 years and everything is documented on OD.

Anyway, I’m just exhausted from work and school. I love that I have so much going on and I am creating a better future for myself but getting enough sleep is always a task. I still have to take TYlenol PM every night or else I will be wide awake until I do. I am just so sick of it. I miss being able to go to sleep on my own. There’s just so much going on nowadays and I don’t want to spend all my free time at home sleeping.

I got most of my homework done and I feel pretty good about that. I’m glad that i’m in an easy math class this semester because that is my toughest subject. I love my computer class because it’s stuff that I already know how to do, I’ll just get better at it and learn a few things along the way.

So it looks like I’ll be going to court on the 21st for my small claim lawsuit against the place that fucked me over on my car. I talked to the mechanic today that worked on it and he said that he would go to court with me but I never believe they’ll actually do what they say until the time comes. I really hope he does because his statement is really important and I just don’t know who else is going to come with me.

I still don’t have much to do with my family. My Mom is probably the biggest bitch I’ve ever known and I just can’t stand trying to talk to her one the phone. I called her yesterday to let her know when the court date will be because I couldn’t hear her because they were in the car with the windows down because they were smoking and I tried to tell her I couldn’t hear her and she got all defensive so I hung up. I was just too fucking tired to deal with her attitude and how rude she is to me so I hung up and went about my day.

I decided that if they don’t give me any money when they get their taxes that I will be completely cutting them out of my life. I helped them with $1,300 in the month that I borrowed her car and gave it back with a full tank of gas so I do expect even $40 when they get their taxes. Her and my Dad both told me that they would give me some but I really doubt they actually will because they NEVER pay anyone back and that’s why no one helps them anymore but I almost lost my car and got my cable shut off from helping them and I just feel like if they don’t even attempt to pay me back then they didn’t appreciate me helping. I know that I need to cross them off regardless if they pay me back or not but if I don’t hear from them when they get their taxes, that will be the last fucking straw for me. My family has done nothing but use me and shit on me my entire life so I don’t expect much but it’s just sad how much they have fucked me over and the negative affect they’ve had on my life.

It’s been nice to be off today and yesterday, it’s been much needed. I just feel like I never get enough sleep and being sleep deprived all the time is really not good. I’m glad to have just been at home to hang out, sleep, take a hot bath and get most of my homework done. I hate feeling like I never get enough sleep and I feel like I walk around like a zombie most of the time. What made it worse was having to get up 3 days in a row and 2 of those days was dropping my car off to get some shit fixed. It’s nice to take my car to the mechanic and not have to deal with a bunch of drama to get it back. I don’t have to worry about anything and that alone makes me grateful to have a different car.

My ex is still on my mind quite a bit, more than what i want him to be. I just can’t understand why I can’t just forget about him and move on. I’m still stuck on why he treated me so badly and how he did everything he could to convince me that it was completely acceptable for us to never see each other and that if was fine for him to never include me in his life at all. I was just fighting a losing battle and wouldn’t let go of it. I know that it’s because I had no one else and loneliness was a huge factor but I will NEVER again let someone talk to me like he did. Just because he didn’t call me names like my ex John did, doesn’t mean he was any less abusive. He said some of the most awful things about not only me but people I loved and cared about. He got sick pleasure from knowing how much he brought me down. My friend at work said that I need to find happiness within myself and she’s right. I need to work on myself and figure out my feelings towards my past before I try to find another relationship because it wouldn’t be fair if I met someone now because they would suffer from how others have treated me and I’m not ready to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice to have someone to do shit with in my free time and I would love the company but I need to figure out myself first. My ex left behind a very confused, hurt, shattered person and I need to fix what he did to me, not by finding someone new but learning how to be comfortable within myself and focus on school and work and just doing me before trying to bring someone into my life.