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Torridaussity Two

by Always Laughing

Entries 228

Page 1 of 10

4 days ago

Big fat chicken

That’s me…I saw the boy last night and wasn’t brave enough to stand up and ask for what I want…my only defense which is a poor one is that he asked about things that made me feel he’s more commit...


I survived turning 41 had some highs and some lows. Overall though it was a good birthday, here’s hoping this year is my best yet.


June 05, 2021

41 is fast approaching

So my bday the older I get makes me get very emotional. I’ll be 41 in a few days and I’m not coping well. In general my life is for the most part okay to good on average and there are days that ...


April 19, 2021

Short one

Been having nightmares a lot lately. All night last night was filled with them. I’m overly tired today. Life has been a Rollercoaster lately. I plan on a real update soon. I’m proud I’m managing...


March 08, 2021

Update

Long overdue and much needed update. So the last I wrote I got potentially life altering news from the man I’ve been seeing. It pulled the rug out from me. I was vague and still won’t share exac...


February 21, 2021

Hoping to get some peace

Tomorrow I hope that I will get some peace about my situation that transpired in January. I will know how to formulate a plan to move forward. I’ve not been myself since January and it’s been ha...


February 05, 2021

Not even 9 pm and...

I’m ready for bed. I was doing better but the weekends are hard nothing to stop me from overthinking every thing. Sleep doesn’t always help because even my dreams have been mentally exhausting. A...


January 26, 2021

Got the rug pulled out

From under me. Got a text a TEXT that no one wants to get from someone they’re seeing or saw....I can’t even process it right now. I feel like I did 3 years ago. I just am lost and broken. I can’...


January 10, 2021

She's gone

My aunt passed at 9:04 pm. Covid claimed another victim. She’s at peace and with her beloved husband in heaven.


January 09, 2021

She's weaker

My aunt is getting worse today moved her up to 5 liters of oxygen, sleeps almost all day. Isn’t eating very much, the nurses say she is getting weaker. I know everyone must pass away sometime, i...


January 08, 2021

Bad Week

You know it’s been a bad week filled with anxiety, stress, and emotions when you’re lying in bed crying at 4PM. I am so over everyone and everything and just want peace in my head, in my heart, a...


January 03, 2021

Fears

All my fears were playing havoc with my mind this weekend. So many tears cried. I was afraid I was falling apart, but can’t afford that right now so I tape myself back together and prepare for an...


December 31, 2020

End of 2020

The end is near and I hope 2021 is much better for all. Wishing you all a Happy New Year!


December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas or if you don’t celebrate a merry day.


December 24, 2020

Merry Christmas Eve

Life has been crazy the last few weeks. Had a few contact with a contact covid scares again. Saw Dan again. Getting ready for socially distanced Christmas activities for the holidays. Just finish...


November 29, 2020

Not in a good place

I’m struggling pretty hard right now. Partly because I’m stressed with work changes,, financial stress,, and health issues and because of my dating life. I’ve still been seeing Dan the lawyer, b...


November 26, 2020

Happy Thanksgiving

I am at my parents just the 3 of us celebrating and it’s enough. My bubble is small for various reasons, their health, my health, my job etc. Today I am focusing on the many blessings I have and ...


November 21, 2020

My results are in

So my results indicate that I most likely have Rheumatoid Arthritis, but were not 100% conclusive so I’m being referred to a rheumatologist. This will make if so 4 autoimmune disorders to deal wi...


November 14, 2020

Down and out

Should write the long entry I owe you all, but it’s been a bad mental health day. I’m weepy and depressed, and completely overwhelmed by life at the moment. I did have a few hours of self care wh...


November 13, 2020

Latest upset

I’m due for a super long entry, but latest 2020 drama I’m waiting on test results to see if I may have Lyme disease or Rheumatoid Arthritis or 2 other nameless joint pain causing issues. I have b...


October 09, 2020

Hellish week

This week has been upsetting and confirming for me that I am nearing the end of this career path I’ve been on for 16 years now. No I’m not going to up and quit, but I know I can’t continue this j...


August 31, 2020

My heart hurts

I’m emotionally in overdrive right now. I’m down and out and yes I will get out of it, but needed to tell someone, anyone so I don’t have to pretend to be ok everywhere in my life. Reasons 1. I’...


August 07, 2020

Sad

I am just overall sad right now. I am pretty sure I will not continue to see Dan because he just seems to primarily only care about the physical side of a relationship and not actually continuin...


June 21, 2020

:-(

Crying over people who aren’t worthy of my time or tears, but what can I say that’s me. I don’t think my heart and soul are meant for this cruel world. I try to protect myself but it never works...


June 06, 2020

Last hours of year 39

This is short as I’m sitting with my friends around a campfire enjoying my last hours of 39 and feeling ok. Leading up to this I was not and I’m still not in the best place, but I’m ok. I will be...


Book Description

The beginning of my writing at a new site