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Torridaussity Two

by Always Laughing

Entries 244

Page 1 of 10

September 11, 2021

Bit of a mess

Life is not horrible, but I’m a bit of a big mess. Everything makes me cry, I don’t feel happy. I just want to run away from life. I don’t know what’s wrong and yet everything is wrong. I know th...


August 24, 2021

major update

So I have been physically and mentally exhausted since I would say July. I have today off was supposed to have a massage but it got canceled and rescheduled for Thursday so update time it is. He...


August 21, 2021

Unofficial results

Well unofficially it’s “most likely” a cyst, but they are recommending a 6 month follow up which is the part I don’t get. Other women I know that have cysts just go in for their yearly mammogram....


August 20, 2021

Waiting

For my imaging to take place to see if it’s nothing or something in my right boob. Prayers please.


August 12, 2021

More issues

Why not…my car brakes are shot more money I don’t have. I have either a stye or infection on an oil glad in my lower eyelid it hurts a lot. Waiting to see when I can get in for that. Shoot me now...


August 10, 2021

Currently locked in...

My parents garage. I am so pissed I can’t even deal…so what am I doing… crying instead. I realize I never updated about what happened that sent me into a hysterical mess. A pipe blew at my chi...


July 28, 2021

Breakdown

I’m literally having a crying melt down in a parking lot. I can’t take this anymore…something else just happened and I just can’t.


July 27, 2021

August 20

Is when they can get me in for the ultrasound and second mammogram. The doctor said not to lose sleep most often these results are commonly from the way the breast was placed in the machine or ju...


July 23, 2021

New worry...

Had my first mammogram today for routine purposes…got an email a little bit ago that I have new clinical results on my health chart app. I read the results…I have a 6mm nodule they recommend furt...


July 20, 2021

Cluck cluck cluck

Go ahead call me a chicken I saw D last night and my anxiety overruled my wanting answers. I do believe I’m going to have to write him a letter/email and just give it that way. We had a good nig...


July 19, 2021

Feeling overwhelmed

My car door latch broke yesterday and it was just one more thing to overwhelm me. Chauffeur to my parents, errand runner, part caretaker, on call committee for church to find new pastor and made ...


July 17, 2021

Highest of highs to

Lowest of lows. I know some of you saw I finally closed my dating 2020 book because on August 1st it will be the one year anniversary of the first date I had with D. It’s been a tumultuous year f...


June 30, 2021

Still hot and now sad

My dad was in a wreck tonight, he’s ok, but it scared me and my reaction to that was a breakdown because it triggered me. I began thinking of losing him and it just spiraled out of control from t...


June 28, 2021

So hot...

Outside so my apt is an oven even with AC on because I have to use portable AC units and they just don’t work that great. So updates…work is still not 100% what I thought it would be and I’m piss...


June 22, 2021

A bit of good news

So my client’s summer hours got approved so I won’t lose anymore until school in the fall, but by then I can pick up another case. One less stress for now


So this just means my feelings are coming at me 1000% tonight and I’m definitely on emotion overload. Got some potentially bad news about my already low hours for work this summer, the situation ...


June 10, 2021

Big fat chicken

That’s me…I saw the boy last night and wasn’t brave enough to stand up and ask for what I want…my only defense which is a poor one is that he asked about things that made me feel he’s more commit...


June 08, 2021

Today it was the big 41

I survived turning 41 had some highs and some lows. Overall though it was a good birthday, here’s hoping this year is my best yet.


June 06, 2021

41 is fast approaching

So my bday the older I get makes me get very emotional. I’ll be 41 in a few days and I’m not coping well. In general my life is for the most part okay to good on average and there are days that ...


April 19, 2021

Short one

Been having nightmares a lot lately. All night last night was filled with them. I’m overly tired today. Life has been a Rollercoaster lately. I plan on a real update soon. I’m proud I’m managing...


March 09, 2021

Update

Long overdue and much needed update. So the last I wrote I got potentially life altering news from the man I’ve been seeing. It pulled the rug out from me. I was vague and still won’t share exac...


February 22, 2021

Hoping to get some peace

Tomorrow I hope that I will get some peace about my situation that transpired in January. I will know how to formulate a plan to move forward. I’ve not been myself since January and it’s been ha...


February 06, 2021

Not even 9 pm and...

I’m ready for bed. I was doing better but the weekends are hard nothing to stop me from overthinking every thing. Sleep doesn’t always help because even my dreams have been mentally exhausting. A...


January 27, 2021

Got the rug pulled out

From under me. Got a text a TEXT that no one wants to get from someone they’re seeing or saw....I can’t even process it right now. I feel like I did 3 years ago. I just am lost and broken. I can’...


January 11, 2021

She's gone

My aunt passed at 9:04 pm. Covid claimed another victim. She’s at peace and with her beloved husband in heaven.


Book Description

The beginning of my writing at a new site