Entries 443
Page 5 of 18
1/10
I’m not better today, and I’m not sure I ever will be and mental illness is just the absolute worst. I wish I had health insurance. I wish I had the will to help myself. I don’t care about myself...
daze
I’m mostly living in a daze. I’m always under a lot of stress and I’m not entirely sure of how to deal with it. My brain feels foggy and I can’t concentrate. I’m making a lot of errors. I’m afrai...
12/21
I had an interview last week. It went well and they offered me the job almost immediately. The problem is that it’s a student worker job, that pays $8.50 an hour and it’s 20 hours a week. It’s in...
12/10
Gosh, I don’t know how many times I keep trying to write in this thing. I just finished the last paper I had due for the semester last night between throw-up events. This is the second time in a ...
12/1
I’m always completely exhausted. I work 37 hours a week. I take nine hours of graduate level classes (full time is six hours, and it’s more intensive than my undergrad was). I do 90% of the house...
processing continues
I was able to go to work today and distract myself from how sad and hopeless I feel about the election results. I didn’t cry today, but I teared up a few times. I keep desperately wishing this wa...
...
This is really bad, you guys. I couldn’t sleep and I’m still so sick to my stomach. I just cannot believe this is happening. If you voted for Trump, I absolutely do not want you reading/commentin...
damn
I thought having a new baby was exhausting, but working full time, going to school full time, and having two kiddos under the age of five and single momming is way worse. I think I’m just tired t...
10/14
I’ve been trying to write this for three days. I’m busy. And tired. And worn out. And everything in between. Life is a giant web of complexities that I’m slowly and arduously trying to untangle. ...
8/23
I started school yesterday. The class I have on Mondays is called cultural diversity in higher education (I think) and I can tell it’s going to be a lot better than the similar classes I took on ...
8/11
Things are relatively peaceful here. Plans are being made, things will be set in motion. The beginning of the school year is always hectic, for the kids as well as for me. I still don’t have any ...
7/21
I’mmmm sooooo tiiiirrrreeeedddddddd but things are beginning to fall into place. COOL. My darling little girl turns two today. My darling little boy turns four next month. <3
lol
Here’s what’s happened lately: 1. I got another speeding ticket, not even a month after getting my first one. 2. I got into a car wreck. 3. Jacob gave me 30 days to move and I have nowhere to go,...
OMG
I’VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO GRAD SCHOOL, HOLY SHIT. I started shaking and crying when I read the letter. This is hopefully going to open up doors for me. Fuck. I can’t accept it. I’m in disbelief. I ...
what is moving will be still,
what has gathered will disperse what has been built up will collapse all of your dreams are fulfilled I wish I knew where I was gonna be and what I was gonna be doing six months from now, But I n...
I own every bell that tolls me
I think there is some small hope that perhaps I won’t break others in ways that I’ve done, even if it’s one lost life. I know that I always do, in the process of trying to liberate myself from th...
6/3
I’m doing all right. I keep meaning to write, but I only think of things to say when I’m driving, and forget what I get back. So, I’ll leave this for now. I’ve been very busy, so it’s been good.
5/9
Lately I can’t accept that I might be done reproducing. All I can think about lately is how much I’d love to have another child. I don’t know if this is because of the events of the past few mon...
.
I can’t sleep at night. I can’t do any of this. I can’t believe I allowed myself to be put in such a vulnerable place in life. I have no skills. No job for the past five years. Two kids to take c...
dating
The trouble with dating is that I am confronted with harassment and am often sexualized. I think it happens even from men who consider themselves to be “feminists.” Jacob said awhile ago that he...
4/22
If/when I am ever in another long-term relationship, I refuse to be in charge of regulating another adult’s emotions. It seems this responsibility is assigned to people when they enter a relation...
I need you, after all.
I thought I was done here but it turns out that I need a release for all of the thoughts indefinitely swirling in my head and I have no other outlet yet. I need this place, after all. I am having...
4/12
I am so very tired. Both kids have had stomach virus stuff on and off since Easter. I hope that after today, it doesn’t come back. They’re both better today. I’m going a bit stir crazy since I h...
well, *photo edit*
I finally got glasses. And the best part is, I can actually see things! The worst part is the damn cost. Oh well, MY EYES. I look much older: eeeeep.
4/3
I feel like a failure in every possible way and it really sucks.
