Entries 406
Page 7 of 17
OldER.
I am now at an age where some chicks are both very legal, and still too young for me. Wonder if there is a website for thirty-somethings that are too young for some crowds and too old for others...
Don't rib me.
I don’t think I broke a rib, but whatever it is, it’s enough to annotate. Still think it is bizarre to injure my rib-area on LEG PRESS. People all “oh, I don’t squat, bad for the knees”. Never...
40+
Been scheduled into overtime again. Doesn’t really bother me. I didn’t think I’d adapt to working evenings so well, but it leaves my mornings so stress-free in terms of getting to the gym. In ...
Better than yesterday.
Nah, not much fancy to say. Negative thoughts were there, but somewhere in the evening I forgot about them. Ha ha. I “forgot” I was depressed. I COULD hit the gym in the morning, but I wouldn’...
Finding what's left.
In the past when I had suicidal ideation, it was at least confined to the privacy of my residence. It’s quite different to be in public and casually thinking about death. All the classics: “I h...
I hate days off.
I noticed this decades ago. Well, I do have two things I COULD do, and probably will. Group meeting, and hit the gym. But other than that, there’s no hard deadlines today, no stressables of any...
Whatever.
Not as dire as Friday. Feels.... going through the motions? No, that’s not quite it. Stoic bottled rage? Annoyance? Sleeping well. Eating reasonably. Haven’t missed a workout. Maybe it’s ...
Potato.
When you wake up early feeling good. Eat a healthy breakfast. Get to the gym and have a good workout. Eat a tasty and healthy lunch before eleven. And. Have no desire to do anything. Not s...
It's just a menu.
When you notice an attractive age-appropriate mother and daughter and you’re seriously not sure who you are supposed to be attracted to. When you get old enough to have back pain, these things ha...
I wash my epidermis.
I’ll consider this the better end of depression considering I’m back up to three showers a day. Post-sleep, post-gym, post-work. As opposed to feeling so bad mentally that I can’t find the stren...
Here's to perfect eyesight and a full head of hair.*
Ever go outside and feel like someone is throwing salt into your eyes? That’s my life now. Indoors isn’t much easier. Eyes weren’t that bad last month. Definitely not THIS bad. Sobriety is sup...
Cautious Optimism.
Fifth day of workies in a row. Fourth doing my actual job. Today marks no occurrences of blistering anxiety. No, that’s not the right wording. It’s a feeling where you COULD have a panic attack...
Xenophobia.
No idea if pre-anxiety is a thing. I was in good spirits this morning. Energetic isn’t really the word, more like drive. “Oh, I’ll do this, okay then this, don’t forget this.” It’s rare I bo...
It's either the shirt
or the coin. Every time I wear this shirt, I get a job offer. I was actually offered a higher wage than I expected. Talk about me underselling myself internally. While I’m sure anxiety will h...
Galloping Abz.
I never fail to be amused by this. Maybe my true calling was bad erotica…
Short Interviews.
Are a really good sign or a really bad sign. In this case, the former. While I was wearing my lucky interview shirt (seriously have always gotten an offer while wearing it), I’m curious whether ...
You know what they say about guys with small cars.
Good gas mileage. Been tracking the mileage for my 2008 Honda Fit since I got her. Averages around 33 mpg. Only dips below 30 mpg in the winter. Or if my driving is mostly residential. And des...
Apply palm directly to face.
Ah, fetlife. I can’t be bothered to indulge these ladies, but gosh. I believe this is filed under “I don’t fuck dumb chicks”. Her message: “Do u by chance wanna buy number or snap I rlly lik...
Spellcheck.
If you type “prolly” rather than “probably”, I am so judging you. #grammarlivesmatter And yes, if your punctuation is off, I’m judging you. And YES, if you point out I’ve made an error, I’ll usu...
Inertia.
I almost miss feeling anxious. At least when I was, I was motivated to avoid that active feeling. Now, I get the same feeling from staring at a wall as I do from “actual” stimulation. Haven’t b...
Stagnation.
When I joked I was replacing alcohol with chocolate, I didn’t think it would be so literal. Past few days I’ve been back to one meal a day. Ooops. And damn it. I’m still playing Left4Dead and S...
Hello Kitty.
So I was eating my pasta bean lunch at the table when I got oddly sad. I happened to have a set of Hello Kitty plates and bowls. Because I’m ridiculous like that. I know I had to have gotten th...
Humbug.
I do not understand those who can spend an inordinate amount of time searching and applying for jobs. I just spent three hours applying to one posted two days ago, AND IT’S ALREADY FILLED. I th...
Still here, still sad.
Yesterday was another: I did everything I could, everything right, and when it was 9PM, time to zone out or zone into some entertainment - I couldn’t. I got anxious for a few hours, making bedt...
Quiet.
Okay, metal is playing, whatever. Another day, still sad. Spent yesterday cleaning to distract myself. As, nothing particularly pleasant really resonated with me. In a headspace where I’m afr...
Book Description
Off-hand thoughts which I won’t organize as well. But feel safe to share.
