by J.E.

Entries 1,371

Page 2 of 55

October 17, 2023

Waxing The Dome

Shaved my head and lotioned it. I need to get more razors, this one is getting dull and I don’t have any replacements. Still feeling awful. I’ve got court Friday. Odds are likely I’ll be loc...

October 16, 2023

Nicotine Fiend

I can’t smoke cause the throat hurts too much so I got some Nicorette Gum. The taste is meh but it’s doing the trick. I was feeling better but then all the meds wore off. I’m about to take so...

October 16, 2023


I hate that fucking commercial. Slept like shit, tossed turned, little here little there. Emailed the counselor that I’m sick, no response. Get up, get dressed and head out. Soon as she hears m...

October 15, 2023

Cat Therapy

Since getting sick I’ve not done much, just resting. However I’ve been a magnet for the cats. If Lily isn’t in my lap sleeping then Smokey will be. I don’t mind but they get vocal when I have ...

October 14, 2023


I’m burning up with a fever…

October 14, 2023

Worse Than Yesterday

I feel awful. Still stuffy and throat hurts worse. I’m trying not to cough cause it hurts bad. When I do cough it’s thick phlegm. I’m not getting off the couch except to pee. Luckily I don’t ...

October 13, 2023

Gargling Hot Asphalt

My throat has been killing me today. Temps dipped, it got cold in the house ergo I wake up stuffy with a sore itchy throat and a minor cough. Mom’s not feeling so hot either. She went to the RN...

October 12, 2023


Just kidding. I fnally called facility. Who? Explain. Who?? EXCEP??? Call back this Monday

October 12, 2023

Fire In My Belly

No, not passion. More like the jalapenos I had on my Italian sub. Practically inhaled the damn thing as I was Shakey hungry. Other than running to the store earlier for some meats and veggies ...

October 11, 2023

Mark My Words

By the end of November we’ll be paying $5 a gallon. The world’s on fire and we’re playing politics as football. Gather round your team! Eat a hot dog!!!

October 10, 2023


Welp, guess the inpatient is in limbo for now. I have no new info and they don’t know what the hell they’re doing. Shaved my head and face, had a hot shower, now I’m munching down a breakfast bu...

I’ve got a bad fucking headache. Right behind my eyes. I’m stressed. While smoking a cig before group I saw the coordinator of River Valley. I asked him a question about the razor policy. B...

October 08, 2023

Internet Rabbit Hole

I was on Reddit and someone made a post about Gary wanting to be a pedophile. I responded Gary Glitter? From there I got on Wikipedia and read up on famed musician and notorious pedophile Gary G...

October 08, 2023

Smacks And Crunches

My front door. I just finished the short story Saturn Rising by Arthur C. Clarke. That was a great read. “There goes the gong. If the ladies are ready, I suggest we walk down to dinner throu...

October 08, 2023


I’m craving juice, lemonade or basically anything with a tart fruit flavor. I drank the last of the pineapple lemonade yesterday. Mmm, pineapple. Speaking of I polished off the fresh pineapple ...

October 07, 2023

Chili Butt Blast

I’m typing this up from the toilet. 💩 The chili was great but thirty minutes later my stomach started hurting. So here I am… I’m blaming last night’s pizza. 🤷‍♂️ Some from the last entry asked w...

October 06, 2023

I'm Fucked Up

Might as well party before I go into inpatient and see my demons full force. Sober

October 06, 2023

Worm Eats The Rabbit Hole

On my way to pick up mom I looked up Stiff Little Fingers. Bought their first album ten years ago. Played it through. Now I’m in a 2010 kick where I started downloading full discographies. Sun...

October 06, 2023

Come Scratch My Back!

I’ve got one spot I can’t reach. Another night of a good deep sleep, I could get used to this. It’s a nice, cool 67 outside. FINALLY! Honestly, I want to sleep a little longer. I’m nice and war...

Google it Brian May (guitarist of Queen) has a PhD and has worked with NASA and has published papers. Dexter Holland of The Offspring has a PhD Mr. Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson, Master’s in Elec...

October 04, 2023

11:11 PM

How the fuck am I still not sleepy?!?!? Over 36 hours now. I need a smoke. Had fajitas tonight, twas good. One Trazodone down, let’s get it started.

October 04, 2023

Lie Still, Little Bottle

I had the assessment and I’ll be in inpatient within the week. Spoke with the court liaison after and they’ll clear things with the judge and get me a new court date. Is it odd that I’m excited...

October 04, 2023

2:00 AM

Passed the 24 hour mark around 10 PM. Wide awake… I’m under my blanket but too hot, feel slightly moiste. Very tempted to make myself a some highly caffeinated cup(s) of coffee and just stay up....

October 03, 2023

Capitalism And Bug Bites

Mom is old school. She’ll send checks in the mail or go to a location to pay a bill. Two months ago apparently T-Mobile put into effect a $5 service charge if you go to the store to pay. That’...

October 02, 2023

1:16 AM

No one commented on my last entry. 😭 No worries, just one of my wild ideas Had a double whammy today. Piss test at group then piss test at the courthouse. I failed them. THC for group and THC...

Book Description

I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.

Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.

It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.



I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.

So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.

I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.

But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
I’m a democrat.
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.

People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.

This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.

I welcome ProseBox into my life.