LivingCoals ⋅

My journals sort through some things, my feelings and my faith mostly. I'm dealing with some major psychological problems but writing it out helps alot. All of these journals are intended to remain anonymous. If you somehow discover my identity please be respectful and keep this space and my thoughts private.

But Golem and the Evil One crept away with her.

Led Zeplin

Entries 116

Page 1 of 5

2 days ago

Must I Beg? in Short Thoughts

Talk to me. I miss your voice.


2 days ago

Tired Brain in Short Thoughts

The anxiety and stress is really eating at me today for some reason.


I made a mistake. I let myself hope. I forced myself to dream. I saw a life with a guy like you. In the woods, laughing having fun. The dog, the kids, the adventure. I let myself get comfortable ...


I need a vacation. I’m not much of a Cinderella but lately I find myself fantasizing about a mysterious man swooping me off my feet and taking me to the country or the beach or some new exotic lo...


My rain is lieing to me again. It does that. This time it is trying to convince me that everyone in the world is uncomfortable with me. People are all avoiding me it says. It surely must have bee...


A list of quests: Teach me how to make math fun. Give me an article to read with some good advice for my life. Drop me a video of some local rock. Show me a picture from your world. Write me a ve...


April 10, 2018

Dear Readers in My Fucking Feelings

Do you understand how important you are to me? Do you get it? Do you know that I tell you things I couldn’t tell my family? Do you understand that your words mean the world to me? Do you know tha...


Ever watched yourself slowly go insane? https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ez17h1EkK8&feature=share Please pray for me. It’s just starting to be too much. I can’t shake it off when people are...


April 09, 2018

Why!? in Short Thoughts

Am I okay? No. Nerves, anxiety Seeing double meanings behind everything. Ahhh brain… It’s sleeping time. Sleep, Please please sleep!


I felt horrible so I went to have a beer and hear you sing. I feel better now. I was glad you were nice to me even though I’m sure you didn’t really want me there. Impressions: You want me to kee...


April 08, 2018

Clouds in My Fucking Feelings

I didn’t go to the prayer meeting today. I got too anxious about it being a new thing. What if they expected me to pray out loud? What if they were trying to pray for only the one thing? I just c...


April 08, 2018

<3 in Short Thoughts


April 08, 2018

The Process in My Fucking Feelings

So what’s a guy got to do to date the Phoenix anyway? Well… We aren’t currently accepting applications but you are welcome to leave a resume on file. The position of potential future husband invo...


All math teachers must be sadistic. And all math lovers are perhaps masochist. (No offense Anon.) But some are worse than others. For instance, when the problem states “give an exact answer, incl...


So naturally as I’m doing my math quiz my brain decides it’s the right time to go over every interaction that could have gone terribly wrong without my having noticed. It ran out of J related int...


It’s one of those days where I’m wondering if I have any real friends left, any close ones. My besties seem to have alienated me. Almost every old reliable friend I’ve ever had seems distant. Not...


April 03, 2018

Math Trauma in My Fucking Feelings

We can joke and laugh but it’s not a joke for me. Geometry. That’s where it all happened. That’s where I lost J. Guess what I’ll be learning in math this week? I thought last week would be the ha...


April 02, 2018

In Hindsight in Short Thoughts

It seems as if you were expecting something from me. I’m not sure what social obligation it was that I failed at. A compliment? A tear? A conversation? What was the desired outcome? Were you wait...


April 02, 2018

Famous Last Words in Short Thoughts

As he stood a’front the gates o’ pearl clutching his severed head he exclaimed with utter dread: “Was it something I said!?”


April 02, 2018

-.- in Short Thoughts

I’m so tired right now that my brain is broken.


Suddenly I realize why I have been so distant with friends. Those close friends that have been around forever. We will be catching up and getting comfortable with each other when suddenly there’s...


April 01, 2018

Buddy Hugs in Short Thoughts

I like side hugs, buddy hugs. Sometimes they are the best because there is no awkwardness there. You never have to worry about holding on too tight or too long. There’s no concern of proportion, ...


So there I Am, where everyone said I shouldn’t be. My nerves are balls and knots, tangled up inside of me. I try not to show it. See everything is fine? If I make one wrong move, will everything ...


And it’s going to happen again and again. Has to happen… Kidding. I’m slightly terrified to show up tonight. Not because of a potential fight. But because J might destroy my heart. But I’ve wait...


I’ve been thinking of you again. When am I not? I picture you in my mind just the way you were the first time I saw you, with that long brown hair and the eyes that are never really happy, never ...


Books 4




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