… but I will be.
This won’t last forever. The sun will shine again and I’ll be okay. For a bit, anyway. Or a minute.
Feeling incredibly overwhelmed with both extreme depression and mania. That’s a pretty rapid cycle for the mania. But the pendulum hasn’t swung, exactly. I am feeling a pretty deep depression still, but just a bit ago, the mania burst in like the Kool-Aid man. It’s like being twisted apart in the middle, pulled in two directions.
Which way will it break?
Being aware is good. I gotta keep reminding myself of that. This is good. Knowing what I’m feeling, recognizing it for what it is, is good. The alternative, the before-time, that was not good. That was pretty terrifying, really, not knowing what was happening to me, not understanding. This is less terrifying.
I’m valid. I matter. I am loved. I have value. I am worthy. I’m winning at fucking life, ya’ll. Seriously. This bipolar shit is on my last nerve right now. My life is so good!
I’m not okay right this minute, but I will be. I may not be okay right now, but I’m still good.