I’m not okay right this minute, but I’m okay.
Everything is temporary.
Nothing lasts forever.
The sun will shine again.
I have things to feel hopeful about even if I don’t feel any hope right now. I’ll feel hope again because those things still exist… right?
My change in mood is not a reflection of reality. The way I feel about myself in these moments is not a reflection of reality.
Nothing is lost, nothing is changed. Nothing outside of my current brain chemistry. That’s what is changing, not the world around me. The world around me is still the same, even if it’s a little more scary today than it was a week ago.
Instead of lending any validity to the invalid thoughts, I should spend more time inspecting those thoughts, evaluating them, figuring out where they come from. That is where resolution lies.
I just want to feel well. Really, truly well. And sometimes it’s really hard knowing that I won’t. Probably not ever. Sure, I might achieve some sort of stability, but how can I ever feel well when I will never be well?
I know I’m not alone in my feelings. Everything still feels like it’s on fire. I mean, there’s real hope to be found come January 20th, and I can bide the time between now and then, but the pandemic isn’t going to end in the meantime. And it’s really fucking with my plans.