Minuete ⋅ 38

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things."

Lewis Carroll

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So. December. My coworker and I decided that the theme of the year was “men are cancelled 2k18.” I was done with relationships and trying to have a relationship and just . . . Well, date and fuck...


Here’s me, wanting to write more. Here’s also me, working full time while balancing family, a musical, and a social life. BUT if you want time, you gotta make time, even if that’s your lunch brea...


Ending things with W might have actually been harder than ending things with Adam. Either way. It’s over. It sucks. It’s hard. It’s so, so hard. I spend every minute of every day trying desperate...


Here I am, in the grips of my sadness, wallowing in it, settling down into it, letting it cover me like a familiar blanket. I remembers these feelings and thoughts, they bring back almost pangs o...


At the end of the day I’m going to be alone.


W takes off my shirt, then spins me so my back is pressed up against his chest, my bare skin against his soft t-shirt. He’s spending the night for the first time, a pretty big deal for both of us...


Adam moved out last night. While I was sleeping. I have no idea what to tell the kids this morning.


Hi. I’ve had a lot of gin tonight. I’m in the happy place of numb lips and tingly fingers and just wanting to run my mouth. So here we go. Things with Adam are roughly the same. We have a couple ...


No. No, I do not. I sort of feeling like I’m going through the novel The Awakening, but without the suicide at the end. But I do feel myself sort of . . . Breaking free, I guess, of things I alwa...


I told Adam if he didn’t seek some serious help then he’d have to move out. I don’t know if that’s even the right thing to say or do, but I don’t know anything any more. There’s no right answer. ...


The good, the bad, and the rest. So, here goes. This is going to be a very personal and hard entry to write, but, hey, that’s why we have these journals, right? The hard thing is that I know a lo...


I am a giant mess of a human being currently. I have no idea which choices are right and which are wrong. Am I following my brain, my heart, my gut? None of them? All three? I feel pulled in so m...


Therapy can only do so much. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am a much better person medicated and in therapy than I ever was struggling on my own. However. However. I still struggle with my ment...


NYE is always kind of a weird holiday for me, since it’s also my birthday. I start a new year and a new YEAR on the same day. I know that socially and politically 2017 was a bit of a cesspool of ...


My family is such a mess right now and it’s causing me so much anxiety. It’s way too much to type and try to have it be any kind of cohesive explanation but suffice it to say, my mom and sister a...


Because my best friend got drunk. warning, ridiculously long entry ahead For the record, all in all, I had a pretty great Friday. I had a follow up appointment for a doctor’s appointment I had a ...


I’m not even going to lie and say I’m going to try and write here more because I think after the how ever many years I’ve had this particular blog that is just an outright lie. God I miss OD so ...


June 02, 2016

Dad in Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Last Saturday was my dad’s birthday. Adam and Jaden had haircuts in the morning and while they were doing that I was going to run to Kroger with the girls and pick up a cake from a local bakery....


Another year, another reading challenge! After ignoring it for the first month or so I’m getting into a good routine of picking books that follow the challenge. Bolded books are the ones I’ve alr...


I had sort of an annoying evening with the bestie last night. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she is my bestie, we are the bestest besties who ever bested, but even besties can be annoying sometimes,...


I have a friend at work, I call her my work husband and I’m her work wife. She moved here not too long ago from Buffalo and the first thing I said to her, after noticing her Harry Potter patch on...


This year I decided to attempt the Popsugar “50 book challenge” and I’m pleased to say I actually finished! I know, you’re asking yourself how I managed to read 50 books when I barely have the fo...


Since a few of you asked about Europe I figured I’d just talk about Europe. So, as a refresher, my best friend Sara married an air force man several years ago and promptly moved to middle-of-nowh...


Because I always see The Specific Ocean doing it and it looks fun. :) Current Book(s): The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. I did a “book trade” with Jaden. He had to read Ready Player One in e...


November 03, 2015

Title in Not All Who Wander Are Lost

My dad’s been in the hospital since last night. They brought him in for a UTI and mom asked for a neurologist to come look at him as well. They diagnosed him with Parkinson’s. I think it’s a bit ...


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