And today . . . in Not All Who Wander Are Lost
- May 23, 2018, 12:54 p.m.
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- Public
I told Adam if he didn’t seek some serious help then he’d have to move out. I don’t know if that’s even the right thing to say or do, but I don’t know anything any more. There’s no right answer.
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13 Comments
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Deleted user ⋅ May 23, 2018
Deleted user ⋅ May 23, 2018
So what happened in four days that you went from everything is amazing and finally doable to it's done and over with?
Minuete Deleted user ⋅ May 23, 2018
Well, a lot. Adam came home from a business trip and hasn't left the couch since. Like three days of just laying down. There's been two major errands I needed him to run for me and he didn't do them, so I had to leave my job in order to get them done. He wouldn't answer his phone and let his voicemail fill up so that his boss had to call me to find out where he was and what was going on. I 110% realize he's depressed and it's hard, I suffer from anxiety so I know mental health is difficult and no one's fault. But he's not here when he's here. He needs serious help because this is clearly not getting better on its own.
Deleted user Minuete ⋅ May 23, 2018
How do you think it will turn out?
Minuete Deleted user ⋅ May 23, 2018
I honestly don't know. I don't think there's any real perfect solution to this. It's hard, and it sucks, and we've been dealing with it for a long time. My goal is to make my marriage work but I can't do that when I'm the only one trying.
Deleted user Minuete ⋅ May 23, 2018
Agreed. That's a hard spot to be in.
MadSeason ⋅ May 23, 2018
I do think it was the right thing to say ... for you. Because even though it is him suffering from (sever it sounds like) depression you are suffering too and you need to take care of you too. I do hope this ultimatum will be enough for him to seek the help he needs so he can be a true partner in your marriage. But if he doesn't you need to do what is best for you and your well-being ... depression (mental illness in genral) is a reason for certain behavior but not an excuse. Take care of yourself.
WhatDreamsMayCome ⋅ May 23, 2018
If it is that sever, you may need to make the appointment and take him there. (If you haven't already tried.)
Deleted user ⋅ May 27, 2018
I hope that sank in with him & that he can put what energy he does have into getting some help.