Entries 38
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Five years later
We bought a house. We went to Chicago for our anniversary and looked at engagement rings. Sometimes I can’t believe this is my life and I get to be this happy.
March 1st
My two youngest have TikToks and youngest made me get one, too, so I’m on the app and spend most of my time watching cleaning-centric content. Youngest and I also follow each other and recently s...
Detroit, why hast thou forsaken me?
It seems like every time I plan a trip to Detroit, something goes horribly wrong. Wanna drive to Royal Oak to see a movie not playing around my city? Oh there’s going to be a blizzard on your way...
*tap tap tap* Is this thing on?
So. Hi. It’s been awhile. Like checks notes 2-ish years? I’m not going to pretend this is some grand return wrapped in a new years resolution to write more, but I will say I do miss writing, and ...
What a difference a year makes.
I probably owe you all a better, longer, more detailed entry, but suffice it to say . . . I’m happy. Things aren’t always easy, things aren’t always fun, but I’m happy with my life, my love, my f...
Love me like I'm not made of stone
So. December. My coworker and I decided that the theme of the year was “men are cancelled 2k18.” I was done with relationships and trying to have a relationship and just . . . Well, date and fuck...
One less mistake there for the making - November
Here’s me, wanting to write more. Here’s also me, working full time while balancing family, a musical, and a social life. BUT if you want time, you gotta make time, even if that’s your lunch brea...
Get me past the ghost of you
Ending things with W might have actually been harder than ending things with Adam. Either way. It’s over. It sucks. It’s hard. It’s so, so hard. I spend every minute of every day trying desperate...
Emotional cutting
Here I am, in the grips of my sadness, wallowing in it, settling down into it, letting it cover me like a familiar blanket. I remembers these feelings and thoughts, they bring back almost pangs o...
No matter what
At the end of the day I’m going to be alone.
Monday
W takes off my shirt, then spins me so my back is pressed up against his chest, my bare skin against his soft t-shirt. He’s spending the night for the first time, a pretty big deal for both of us...
And.
Adam moved out last night. While I was sleeping. I have no idea what to tell the kids this morning.
I'm tipsy, so let's talk.
Hi. I’ve had a lot of gin tonight. I’m in the happy place of numb lips and tingly fingers and just wanting to run my mouth. So here we go. Things with Adam are roughly the same. We have a couple ...
Do I know what I'm doing?
No. No, I do not. I sort of feeling like I’m going through the novel The Awakening, but without the suicide at the end. But I do feel myself sort of . . . Breaking free, I guess, of things I alwa...
And today . . .
I told Adam if he didn’t seek some serious help then he’d have to move out. I don’t know if that’s even the right thing to say or do, but I don’t know anything any more. There’s no right answer. ...
The deal
The good, the bad, and the rest. So, here goes. This is going to be a very personal and hard entry to write, but, hey, that’s why we have these journals, right? The hard thing is that I know a lo...
Shit is fucked up and stuff
I am a giant mess of a human being currently. I have no idea which choices are right and which are wrong. Am I following my brain, my heart, my gut? None of them? All three? I feel pulled in so m...
My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.
Therapy can only do so much. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am a much better person medicated and in therapy than I ever was struggling on my own. However. However. I still struggle with my ment...
Goodbye, 2017
NYE is always kind of a weird holiday for me, since it’s also my birthday. I start a new year and a new YEAR on the same day. I know that socially and politically 2017 was a bit of a cesspool of ...
Family draaaamz.
My family is such a mess right now and it’s causing me so much anxiety. It’s way too much to type and try to have it be any kind of cohesive explanation but suffice it to say, my mom and sister a...
Yet another evening ruined . . .
Because my best friend got drunk. warning, ridiculously long entry ahead For the record, all in all, I had a pretty great Friday. I had a follow up appointment for a doctor’s appointment I had a ...
Stuff and things
I’m not even going to lie and say I’m going to try and write here more because I think after the how ever many years I’ve had this particular blog that is just an outright lie. God I miss OD so ...
Dad
Last Saturday was my dad’s birthday. Adam and Jaden had haircuts in the morning and while they were doing that I was going to run to Kroger with the girls and pick up a cake from a local bakery....
2016 Reading Challenge
Another year, another reading challenge! After ignoring it for the first month or so I’m getting into a good routine of picking books that follow the challenge. Bolded books are the ones I’ve alr...
Shoulda stayed home . . .
I had sort of an annoying evening with the bestie last night. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she is my bestie, we are the bestest besties who ever bested, but even besties can be annoying sometimes,...
