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I Never Felt So Low

by Manic Robot Boi 🤖

Entries 43

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THAT WOMAN IS GONNA END MY LIFE. Sooooo I panicked. Assumed.. again. And um lost my shit. BUT I am proud of myself for one thing, I didn’t go too overboard. So I deleted the entry but I made one...


Things in my life are going as they are. Steady for now I guess. At least I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in the fridge I guess. I dunno how long that will last for, but h...


June 12, 2018

She's Everything

MJ and I went through a huge thing this weekend over her friends and we not only survived but I think we are even closer now. I haven’t felt this awesome. We had this huge conversation that neede...


June 01, 2018

She Leaves Me Breathless

I cannot believe what an utter FOOL I was. I was so blind to the fact that MJ not only loved me but was improving herself for me, as well as herself. I made so many mistakes. So did she. Best adv...


May 21, 2018

Internally Screaming!!

SO OKAY. This is about me and MJ again. Sorry, not sorry. We had an emotional chat today. I made her cry in a good way this time!! Anyway, I finally fucking got what I wanted! She asked me out on...


May 20, 2018

I Have No Idea Anymore

Okay, so, MJ didn’t get back with her ex. She did, however, give him false hope by feeding his whole appreciation post deal. I mean, that was mean on her part but in her defense, she is .. well,...


May 16, 2018

What I Wouldn't Give

I just want to get out of here. I need to keep working and moving forward. I don’t know how I’m gonna keep fighting the PTSD and the chronic pain. The older I get, the harder it all is. Its so ha...


May 14, 2018

Nothing to Report

After that confrontation with MJ, nothing. She hasn’t said a damn word. Hasn’t even tried to say anything in her defense. I know I should be patient and give her more time but in the same breath...


May 13, 2018

Here I Am

Snaps were sent. No more contact. Turns out she was with her sister this weekend and is actually sick. Her mental illness I think is making her sick. I know I shouldn’t be checking up on her. I’m...


May 13, 2018

Keeps Getting Better!

I caved and sent her a snap. I didn’t have the heart to let it die. I convinced myself it was the right thing. Honestly, I thought she would get the message. “I don’t want our friendship to die ...


May 12, 2018

I Feel so Numb

Everything hurts and I feel numb. I get a snap from her this morning complaining shes sick. Not sending one back. I have my eye on someone else but they most likely do not like me that way. 😫 I’m...


May 12, 2018

Fuck You

MJ has broken my heart for the last time. The borderline abusive shithead bf she supposedly dumped is back in the picture. The asshole guy that I kept getting second place to. The guy whom she s...


May 09, 2018

God Give Me Strength

Things are going weird with MJ. Weird. She says that she doesn’t like people and won’t let anyone in. I told her I am not just anyone. She agreed but still can’t. I spoke about what I did. I un...


May 08, 2018

Which Leads Me Too..

TW/CN: Sexual Assault mention, abuse conversation How am I going to get over this? Let’s say, me and MJ do get to a good place again. The type of place we were. Right? Video calling again and bei...


Okay where to start… Today has been great and bad and then great and then bad again. I spoke to MJ a bit today and then a post just sent me going and you know what? WRONG. I was WRONG again. I go...


I have a chronic pain disorder and a spinal disorder. They both cause me to have, you guessed it, wide spreed pain all over my body. I don’t get a break from this mind you. It is constant. The pa...


MJ reached out to me today. She said sorry for the things she has done. She feels so fragile and so hurt. I don’t know what to do or how to help her. All I know is I love her and I wanna be there...


May 07, 2018

The Story So Far...

I’m going to write this out and leave out names. Anyone who stumbles upon this who knows me, well, you will know a bit more of the details I guess. To make this long story short, I fell in love w...


Book Description

Pretty much a 32 year old trans man life. Read me if you want. No transphobes or homophobes plz. kthx.