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So SO is in jail… for how long????? They didn’t call from the DV advocacy thing today.... Grrr not that I want to talk to them. Alex went to the ENT today. He has an ear infection too and is...


So yesterday was the day from hell. I put Alex on the bus and within an hour they called me to pick him up as he had pink eye… Sigh.. He’s had sinus issues for almost 2 months now nonstop and ev...


I wish my 1st mother’s day was magical and saw it as such. A dream for me to be the mother I always wanted to be with that new baby. The snuggles and hugs and all the the love I could give him....


This time of year I’m depressed from everything that is mother’s day and my birthday. i have some depression going on but not from this time of year as typical. I was reading on FB one of the...


May 05, 2019

Scared in Dealing with the Devil

I know I have at least a month and probably more but I’m scared. He’s still being held without bail and waiting on another mental health exam.. I can’t go through what I did last time. I just ca...


So I work at the smokers quit line and I tell people cigarettes are like a toxic friendship that keep popping up… you don’t know when that mood will strike but something brings you back and boom...


He had court today......I was hoping for a scene from the show night court… I didn’t get it. He saw me and was transfixed. He tried mouthing me something and I just rolled my eyes. Probably f...


11 days have gone by since I talked to him. seen him. Really more like 12. He needs this and I know he deserves this and it was a long time coming. I do feel a bit bad and I slightly miss him...


So we went to Florida and visited my parents while they were there. I brought down the 3 kids and my mom cooked and cleaned and even did my laundry. Bliss for a working mother with 3 kids to en...


I myself am not pro abortion but I am for other people. you do not have the right to choose what other people do. That is how I feel. you don’t know the circumstances that they have to make to ...


January 17, 2019

He Returned in Dealing with the Devil

The next day after I knew he was in NJ he texted me and unblocked me and came back late that night. My vacation from him is gone. He’s been decent. Kind of helpful. I haven’t been feeling the ...


LOL…little detective work and I know his whereabouts to the street. Some of it I wish I didn’t know and the other makes me feel a bit satisfied. I guess knowing he had $5000 to party it up and ma...


I feel he will eventually return.... Its not like this is the first time. I know I am happier, the kids are happier. We can breath a sigh of relief. The demons lurking in the shadow some of my...


I didn’t hear from him at all yesterday. I wrote him hoping that he was warm and had a place. I believe he’s probably high as a kite at his friend in Ithaca’s place. H will probably stay there ...


So day 1 of him not being here. No nasty messages in fact he blocked me during the night. Although he did make it so I couldn’t see his facebook but just his profile pic and its of him and Alex...


Nervously I went to the courthouse and waited and waited and waited till they called me back. He was there. He screamed at me this morning about going. I did anyway. He got himself a lawyer. ...


I want to skip it in the worse way.... Not go to court. Not stand up to him. Sigh..... I’m tired of this. He’s been good. Acting good for the most part except for a few times this weekend. Few...


Mental health wise I’m maxed out...... I can’t take much more. There is so much going on and 90% is bad. Work.....I’m so waiting for the fair treatment that they are stalling on. Home…Well its ...


And we are back to square one again..... From the summer he’s still a pain in the ass with mental health thing. I was met with resistance and why am I not out of this relationship. I talked to s...


I remember it like it was yesterday.... I was an airline worker. I worked for Midway Airlines. It had occurred to me when working ay the airlines of terrorists and such but that seemed so ‘80’s ...


This has been one of those topics I’ve been worried about but at the same time I’m not. Babycakes had speech today with his therapist. We had a good talk as his report came back and he’s impro...


My emotions are a mess. I want to hid…cry my eyes out.... It doesn’t help that I’m at the time of the month that makes this more intense but even still with everything going on I think I have th...


As I looked out the window, my heart racing.... He pulls back up. I had talked him into coming back after he sneaked out knowing the police would be coming. Where were they?? He got out of hi...


Last night I couldn’t sleep well. It was a day and so was today. Yesterday I did go to see my favorite doctor my GYN. I’m a sicko. Still like him. He makes me blush. Anyway the reason I deci...


I am a person that keeps to myself. I don’t really vent to anyone. That is what diaries like this are for. I don’t have anyone to talk to to vent about life. I have been through my fair share ...


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