Feeling Guilty for Having Emotions in Adventures of New baby and family

I signed up for something and they asked personal questions. My past comes up.....
I have a handle on my past. I can’t change it, Its there but I feel that I handled anything forward from it well. Life has thrown me curve balls and from the earlier event …like water off a duck. its not to say I’m not emotional but it’s as good as it can be.
Have you ever suffered from depression or anxiety… or something along those lines. Ummm yeah....
Yes I was on medication, I had lorazepam too.
And the reason is this… when your biggest fear is reality who wouldn’t?
I was anxious as I had a young child with disabilities (developmental and autism) under 4.
I also had a sick husband and not a lot of support. I was an overwhelmed caregiver.
I feared that I would wake up one morning to find my husband dead.
July 24, 2006 that was reality......
That is indeed what I found.
Somehow I feel bad for being depressed and anxious during that time but after getting of f the phone…I just wanted to cry.
I have been through a lot since.
I did go to the doctor once for anxiety because of the micromanaging that was happening at a job and needed a few days to mentally prepare for crap that they were doing to me. Not that he gave me anything. Sometimes you just get mentally overwhelmed and need to find what matters most. I used it to enjoy my family. My sick days, my choice. If I needed a doctors note to do it… whatever.
This year has been one.
But nothing as is bad as watching you best friend slowly die and not knowing that tomorrow he won’t wake up.
The conversation left me feeling vulnerable and upset like I haven’t been in a LONG time over that. Not a good feeling.
I feel I have every right to have felt angry, depressed, anxious and vulnerable during that time. Who wouldn’t be??? Who wouldn’t be when the people that are your friends turn their back. Or family that doesn’t support you and denies what’s going on? Its you against the world. People don’t see what’s behind closed doors and see what they want to see.
They came out of the woodwork when he died.
Somethings aren’t spoken about to this day especially the family members that denied what was going on....

Anyway.... just leave it at that…and let me be.