Sister ⋅

Nothing much there to tell...

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January 11, 2022

I Look... in Him

I woke up this morning, you in my head Dreaming of a trip we’ve never been on Us lying on a bed And I told you, showed you my heart I shared my insecurity, about not being enough I think of how y...


January 08, 2022

Okay, So... in meh...

…I wrote him back after reading this latest letter. I almost had to because he is delusional about why he hadn’t heard from me. Being a second letter, I pretty much knew he’d be trying to get me ...


January 08, 2022

Sticking To My Guns in meh...

Every time I go to clean my downstairs, I run into those two huge boxes full his his crap. I’m certain his godmother doesnt want that at her house taking up space. His son’s mother really doesn’t...


December 21, 2021

Nothing Much in meh...

Good evening… I’m currently sitting at the bar of a restaurant I’ve been wanting to go to for a long time. I’ve not been out like this by myself in a long time, well, in months. Don’t know why I ...


December 16, 2021

I'm Wide Awake in meh...

It could be the coffee from 7a carrying me into past midnight. Then again, it could be that I briefly went to sleep and I woke up and now here I am. I’m bored with Facebook and IG videos. It’s th...


November 07, 2021

Sighs Heavily in meh...

Currently sitting in my car smoking trying to calm down thoughts that invade. Yet, here I am thoughting through my fingers. My current situation with this fool (he wrote me after getting my lett...


I am seriously going to start therapy. I have my faith and I don’t doubt in it’s power one bit, but I need to figure me out. I don’t recognize the person I claim to be anymore. I’ve been so condi...


November 02, 2021

So... in meh...

I swear I get into so much stuff, wonder how I get into it and cry because I should have never gotten involved in the first place. 1) Relationship kept going for a while until Memorial Day weeken...


April 12, 2021

It Won't Go Away in meh...

I never thought I would be in an emotionally abusive relationship. I now realize how it can happen. He has mental problems and needs help. I’m going to really need therapy after it’s really over...


February 14, 2021

I Thought I Was Safe in meh...

The past few days have been a mess. I’m on the upside, in a way, but on a downside too Wednesday around 5:30a: I was asleep on the couch. I woke up. Putzed around in my phone for a second. Stood...


I miss her, but I know she’s got a functioning kidney and her heart is strong where she is now. My “relationship:=” is baffling. I want to get rid of him. He is determined he I am his forever and...


January 23, 2021

Never Have I Ever in meh...

Never have I ever loved someone like this. Not the love itself, the person. Flaws are plenty and I recognize that there are some things unmanageable, but somehow I’m here and I’m stuck. We argue ...


December 19, 2020

All Is Well in meh...

I’m pregnant with polyps and a possible fibroid. Colonoscopy revealed a couple of polyps that were removed. I have a hiatal hernia and inflammation in my stomach that is not cancerous but inflamm...


December 13, 2020

Everything I Said Prior in meh...

I. Take. Back.


December 12, 2020

Playing With Fire in meh...

He is hella flawed and has fucked up vision. I don’t know if it’s because I really want him, or…I don’t know. I keep asking God that if it’s not for me then to move him, but he stays around. He’...


December 04, 2020

Still In A Mood in meh...

I’m not as whiney as I was. I think I have flipped over into anger, but I’m still in a mood. I am a person who suffers in silence. Even if people come out of the wood work and say you can talk to...


December 03, 2020

Is That A Bad Thing? in meh...

Part of being a dreamer and idealizer is that you have dreams and ideas with no ambition to make anything happen or change I get motivated to do stuff when I think I can see what the course is g...


So, I’m pre-diabetc, says my doctor. I walk this line of trying to eat better, but end up not eating at all. Since taking the meds she prescribed, I just feel like I’m forced to eat something. I’...


November 29, 2020

Glutton For Punishment in meh...

I get myself into situations that I know better…yet, I get into them. Then always want God to bail me out. I’m hard headed


November 26, 2020

I'm...Just... in meh...

I’m angry. I don’t know why, but I’m just angry. I might have an idea of why. …but eff it. I’m still cooking and still have a few items left to go. I’m sleepy. I’m pressing forward.


November 25, 2020

Day in meh...

I am on a couple of medications right now. Coupled with my sleeping weirdly and work, I’ve not been feeling my best. I went to bed after work. Well, I cleaned my stove off really good and washed ...


November 25, 2020

So I Told Him... in meh...

“When someone has my attention, that’s my focus. I can’t tell if I want to pursue someone if I’m distracted by other people, even if for comparisons sake. I don’t entertain anyone grinning in my ...


I just had this dream. I got up and was on my way to work. I worked in the office side of a casino. I don’t think I usually went in the casino side to go to work, but I knew if I got on a partic...


November 22, 2020

He Forces Me in meh...

No not like that. I’m sorry for the misleading title. I spent time with noob yesterday. Still trying to process it. He is abrasive. No. He is forward. At least I know his intention. He forces me...


November 21, 2020

Since I'm Awake... in meh...

I never can sleep in no matter how late I go to bed. So the next items up for bid in my happenings… There have been several deaths. Last Friday, there was a funeral for one of our family’s longti...


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