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February 13, 2021

I Thought I Was Safe in meh...

The past few days have been a mess. I’m on the upside, in a way, but on a downside too Wednesday around 5:30a: I was asleep on the couch. I woke up. Putzed around in my phone for a second. Stood...


I miss her, but I know she’s got a functioning kidney and her heart is strong where she is now. My “relationship:=” is baffling. I want to get rid of him. He is determined he I am his forever and...


January 23, 2021

Never Have I Ever in meh...

Never have I ever loved someone like this. Not the love itself, the person. Flaws are plenty and I recognize that there are some things unmanageable, but somehow I’m here and I’m stuck. We argue ...


December 18, 2020

All Is Well in meh...

I’m pregnant with polyps and a possible fibroid. Colonoscopy revealed a couple of polyps that were removed. I have a hiatal hernia and inflammation in my stomach that is not cancerous but inflamm...


December 12, 2020

Everything I Said Prior in meh...

I. Take. Back.


December 12, 2020

Playing With Fire in meh...

He is hella flawed and has fucked up vision. I don’t know if it’s because I really want him, or…I don’t know. I keep asking God that if it’s not for me then to move him, but he stays around. He’...


December 04, 2020

Still In A Mood in meh...

I’m not as whiney as I was. I think I have flipped over into anger, but I’m still in a mood. I am a person who suffers in silence. Even if people come out of the wood work and say you can talk to...


December 02, 2020

Is That A Bad Thing? in meh...

Part of being a dreamer and idealizer is that you have dreams and ideas with no ambition to make anything happen or change I get motivated to do stuff when I think I can see what the course is g...


So, I’m pre-diabetc, says my doctor. I walk this line of trying to eat better, but end up not eating at all. Since taking the meds she prescribed, I just feel like I’m forced to eat something. I’...


November 29, 2020

Glutton For Punishment in meh...

I get myself into situations that I know better…yet, I get into them. Then always want God to bail me out. I’m hard headed


November 25, 2020

I'm...Just... in meh...

I’m angry. I don’t know why, but I’m just angry. I might have an idea of why. …but eff it. I’m still cooking and still have a few items left to go. I’m sleepy. I’m pressing forward.


November 25, 2020

Day in meh...

I am on a couple of medications right now. Coupled with my sleeping weirdly and work, I’ve not been feeling my best. I went to bed after work. Well, I cleaned my stove off really good and washed ...


November 24, 2020

So I Told Him... in meh...

“When someone has my attention, that’s my focus. I can’t tell if I want to pursue someone if I’m distracted by other people, even if for comparisons sake. I don’t entertain anyone grinning in my ...


I just had this dream. I got up and was on my way to work. I worked in the office side of a casino. I don’t think I usually went in the casino side to go to work, but I knew if I got on a partic...


November 22, 2020

He Forces Me in meh...

No not like that. I’m sorry for the misleading title. I spent time with noob yesterday. Still trying to process it. He is abrasive. No. He is forward. At least I know his intention. He forces me...


November 21, 2020

Since I'm Awake... in meh...

I never can sleep in no matter how late I go to bed. So the next items up for bid in my happenings… There have been several deaths. Last Friday, there was a funeral for one of our family’s longti...


November 21, 2020

Is This Thing On? in meh...

My lanta. Where do I begin? Grandson didn’t have covid. We have been relatively safe. He started back to school two days a week this month and as of Monday, they are 100% virtual again. My daught...


October 11, 2020

I Don't Feel So Bad in meh...

....for not writing. I mean, I’ve been trying, but I’ve been pulled every where lately. I say I don’t feel so bad because I logged in and bot many are updating either. I’ve been worried about my ...


September 23, 2020

One More Thing... in meh...

Yeah…so that friend who alluded to suicide is not dead. A few days after his proposed “expiration date”, he hopped on Facebook, asking his ex wife from long ago to get in touch with him. The thin...


September 23, 2020

Gynocologist in meh...

So in typing my entry the other day, I made a play on this word. Then I got to thinking. I looked at it and I really believe that it’s just a fancy way to spell “gina” so it won’t look so crass ...


September 21, 2020

It'll Be Alright After 'while in meh...

That’s what the elders would say. Elders and church folks. Man. It’s been crazy. Well. It’s been what it’s gonna be. Let me say that. This past Saturday was little cousin’s birthday. He would ha...


September 12, 2020

I Must Be Bored in meh...

…which would contradict what I wrote in my last entry. That I need boring. Nah. I’m not bored. I am agitated because I caved. Daughter wants to go to karaoke. I’d rather watch the boys than she l...


September 12, 2020

I don't like to say no in meh...

I don’t like saying this especially to my grandbabies. They wanted to come over. It’s not like they don’t spend time with me or at my house. It’s just not good for real. I need to recharge and I ...


September 11, 2020

You Rang... in Him

It’s funny that you called yesterday. Well actually, after you said that, I was like “You just liked two rather emotional tweets. That could have been the ‘something that told you to call.’” It w...


September 10, 2020

Dry Your Weeping Eyes in meh...

I have not slept properly for a while, but it’s been really bad. Tuesday, of course, was the day of the funeral. I was drained and tired and then had to watch the oldest grandson since daughter h...


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