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meh...

by Sister

Entries 780

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7 days ago

No More Words

After our final words, we have retreated to our neutral corners. I’ve been crying on and off, upset. Handling day workload, dealing with part time work on my lunch. She sent a text to tell me s...


Well, I always hate it here, but it’s been…I’ve been… For the most part, I’ve been fine. I’m in a tizzy right now because of others inconsideration once again. I swear it really doesn’t take much...


April 26, 2022

Schedule

4-6:05 am: I may wake up between these times do absolutely nothing and still can’t make it out of the house on time. 6:50-7:09 am: This is the window to get out of the house to go to work and m...


February 16, 2022

Finality

(Side note- Since the start of 2022, this will be th 3rd time I’ve written him. The time before this was short and brief - and I ignore him mostly- but I had to be very clear. This was the respon...


February 14, 2022

Meh...😒

Valentine’s Day can suck it. Only the person I want to disappear from their mind is the one to say Happy Valentine’s Day to me. Lol I’ve blocked the number he calls from. He still emails and trie...


January 25, 2022

Even in dreams

I came home from work today, intending to clean my bathroom after I cooked. Instead, I had a raging headache. So I filled out paperwork for my part time job, grabbed my phone charger, and went to...


January 08, 2022

Okay, So...

…I wrote him back after reading this latest letter. I almost had to because he is delusional about why he hadn’t heard from me. Being a second letter, I pretty much knew he’d be trying to get me ...


January 07, 2022

Sticking To My Guns

Every time I go to clean my downstairs, I run into those two huge boxes full his his crap. I’m certain his godmother doesnt want that at her house taking up space. His son’s mother really doesn’t...


December 20, 2021

Nothing Much

Good evening… I’m currently sitting at the bar of a restaurant I’ve been wanting to go to for a long time. I’ve not been out like this by myself in a long time, well, in months. Don’t know why I ...


December 16, 2021

I'm Wide Awake

It could be the coffee from 7a carrying me into past midnight. Then again, it could be that I briefly went to sleep and I woke up and now here I am. I’m bored with Facebook and IG videos. It’s th...


November 07, 2021

Sighs Heavily

Currently sitting in my car smoking trying to calm down thoughts that invade. Yet, here I am thoughting through my fingers. My current situation with this fool (he wrote me after getting my lett...


I am seriously going to start therapy. I have my faith and I don’t doubt in it’s power one bit, but I need to figure me out. I don’t recognize the person I claim to be anymore. I’ve been so condi...


November 01, 2021

So...

I swear I get into so much stuff, wonder how I get into it and cry because I should have never gotten involved in the first place. 1) Relationship kept going for a while until Memorial Day weeken...


April 11, 2021

It Won't Go Away

I never thought I would be in an emotionally abusive relationship. I now realize how it can happen. He has mental problems and needs help. I’m going to really need therapy after it’s really over...


February 13, 2021

I Thought I Was Safe

The past few days have been a mess. I’m on the upside, in a way, but on a downside too Wednesday around 5:30a: I was asleep on the couch. I woke up. Putzed around in my phone for a second. Stood...


I miss her, but I know she’s got a functioning kidney and her heart is strong where she is now. My “relationship:=” is baffling. I want to get rid of him. He is determined he I am his forever and...


January 23, 2021

Never Have I Ever

Never have I ever loved someone like this. Not the love itself, the person. Flaws are plenty and I recognize that there are some things unmanageable, but somehow I’m here and I’m stuck. We argue ...


December 18, 2020

All Is Well

I’m pregnant with polyps and a possible fibroid. Colonoscopy revealed a couple of polyps that were removed. I have a hiatal hernia and inflammation in my stomach that is not cancerous but inflamm...


December 12, 2020

Everything I Said Prior

I. Take. Back.


December 12, 2020

Playing With Fire

He is hella flawed and has fucked up vision. I don’t know if it’s because I really want him, or…I don’t know. I keep asking God that if it’s not for me then to move him, but he stays around. He’...


December 04, 2020

Still In A Mood

I’m not as whiney as I was. I think I have flipped over into anger, but I’m still in a mood. I am a person who suffers in silence. Even if people come out of the wood work and say you can talk to...


December 02, 2020

Is That A Bad Thing?

Part of being a dreamer and idealizer is that you have dreams and ideas with no ambition to make anything happen or change I get motivated to do stuff when I think I can see what the course is g...


So, I’m pre-diabetc, says my doctor. I walk this line of trying to eat better, but end up not eating at all. Since taking the meds she prescribed, I just feel like I’m forced to eat something. I’...


November 29, 2020

Glutton For Punishment

I get myself into situations that I know better…yet, I get into them. Then always want God to bail me out. I’m hard headed


November 25, 2020

I'm...Just...

I’m angry. I don’t know why, but I’m just angry. I might have an idea of why. …but eff it. I’m still cooking and still have a few items left to go. I’m sleepy. I’m pressing forward.


Book Description

Me.
Unabridge, a little reserved, but painfully honest.