littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,372
Page 8 of 215
m9 in idea barrages
A cereal with transparent bran flakes and almond clusters called “Post Nut Clarity”. Randy Newman is a failed attempt at cloning Tom Waits. Here we are, puttin’ the “dung” in “Bildun...
m7 in idea barrages
Why say “friends with benefits” when you can say “smoochachos”? Taylor Swift makes music for women who think it counts as group sex if you fuck on top of her Squishmallows. You eithe...
prompt: normal, title: magnet and steal in misc. flash fiction
Joan Henry was a stylus-driving lass, every day still-driven to creating her art. It wasn’t so much she did it for passion, though drawing certainly was her passion, the issue was she’d literall...
m5 in idea barrages
A magical tow truck? Sounds like winch-craft to me. Why say “string bean wholesaler” when you can say “pod dealer”? So many commercials for prescription medicines end with someone pa...
m3 in idea barrages
Why say “Best Seller” when you can say “Pick Of The Literature”? “Vtuber” doesn’t sound like a word for someone who streams video games with a fake avatar cartoon, “Vtuber” sounds like a...
m1 in idea barrages
Why say “docking” when you can say “Johnson & Johnson”? A murder mystery about the death of a rich big game hunter where no one wants to solve the mystery because everyone is glad he...
prompt: sun / title: pattern-welded damascus in misc. flash fiction
Sitting in the audience of a poetry reading by a handful of brilliant folk, at my tender age of 45, I finally realize something I couldn’t put into concrete word until that very moment and so I’...
fb27 in idea barrages
“Whole grains kids will love!” Yes, Big Granola, because they’re covered in enough chocolate to kill an Oompa Loompa. Any healthfulness is overwhelmed by the bag of sugar. C’mon now. We’re n...
fb25 in idea barrages
We’re all old enough, now, to admit what wicked crushes we had on Calvin’s mom in Calvin and Hobbes. It’s okay. The world’s gotten so weird that it’s damn near normal now. For the amount...
fb23 in idea barrages
We’re all just different knots on the same string. We look at our differing shapes and assume that makes us separate and different but… nah. All the same damn string. We have a square ...
fb21 in idea barrages
When the malls decoupled from the multiplexes, something was lost. Remember the joy of sneaking a metric-butt-ton of low-grade Taco Bell into the cinema and eating it while watching a movie?...
prompt: circle, title: the bushwick blues in "sasquatch of los angeles" flash fiction
When I lived in LA, people lingered on the city’s past as something wonderful-yet-naïve. Better, but only in shallow-surface ways. The open-air malls, gigantic record stores, the bikers haunting...
fb19 in idea barrages
Why call benedryl “sleep aid” when you can call it your “catatonic converter”? You capture, train and battle various popes from throughout history. It’s called Popemon. “You used EXCOMMU...
fb17 in idea barrages
Whenever baseball twitter refers to the Competitive Balance Tax as CBT, I giggle, because outside of baseball twitter “CBT” means “Cock and Ball Torture” and basically deep down that makes m...
Why say “winter snow removal budget” when you can say “slush fund”? Why say “lingerie” when you could say “hornaments”? When you sensually kiss, stroke and suck a girl clown’s beep n...
prompt: sink, title: a ghost is born in misc. flash fiction
The worst thing about being dead other than not being alive, of course, is the way that absolutely nothing changes. Everything changes for you, sure, you’re no longer corporeal, no longer able t...
fb 13 in idea barrages
If you think about it, every wheat field is really just a potential beer garden. I hope the next Godzilla flick is called “The Square Root of Godzilla”. I hope it’s middle-school math ti...
fb11 in idea barrages
Being in your 40s is going on YouTube towards massage and chiropractic videos for psychosomatic relief for your awful awful back. Sometimes I have self-pity about being single but on m...
fb9 in idea barrages
Letter to my 15-year-old self: When someone’s ending every fourth sentence toward you with a comma and the word “friend”, it means they’re trying to be very nice about saying that they aren’...
fb7 in idea barrages
So, apparently, Tic-Tac has a jingle called “Take A Ride On A Tic-Tac” and they had no idea that all us old Gen X cynics would immediately assume this was code for clitoral manipulation dur...
prompt: mess / title: variations on a theme in misc. flash fiction
On the eighth day, God rested again. And on the ninth and the tenth and the thirtieth day and the three hundredth, God continued to rest. Finally, one morning God said ‘we’ll call this Boredom!’...
When the Sangertown Mall Ruby Tuesday closed, I didn’t think to sing “Goodbye Ruby Tuesday” outside its shuttering doors and, frankly, I will own my horrible failure in this regard. If a...
fb3 in idea barrages
A parody of Raffi’s “Baby Beluga” about gingko biloba. Ah, tennis match fixing to skew gambling. The Racket Racket. A parody of the George of the Jungle theme that involves the line...
fb1 in idea barrages
An EDM song about the Shrek character Puss in Boots because they all sound like “boots-and-CATS-and-boots-and-CATS-and-boots-and-CATS” to begin with. A GILF porn shop celebrating its gra...
j30 in idea barrages
When Santa’s sleigh crashed in the Rockies in the 1800s, sure, Santa’s immortal but the very-much-mortal reindeer had to resort to cannibalism for any of them to live, going down in gruesome...
