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New Things in Inside My Head
I have finally changed jobs. My new job isn’t perfect but it is significantly better. The physicians I work with are kind, I have a large degree of autonomy, I have Thursdays off. I have to work ...
2018 in Inside My Head
I’ve obviously since returned from maternity leave. I was able to take off for anout five months. Noah is a beautiful blonde haired sweet baby boy. I wished he slept more but oh well. He is just ...
Just Want to Disappear in Inside My Head
The NJ disability office may not even pay me and I am running out of money. The baby is only 2 weeks old. I’m going to be violently ill if I have to return to work this early. I work a full time ...
Crash and Burn in Inside My Head
It’s ironic that just as I celebrate not having PPD, it swoops in out of left field and hits me in the chest. I don’t know if it’s PPD or just my baseline anxiety flaring up, but today all I want...
Noah in Inside My Head
So my second postpartum experience is vastly different than my first. No PPD, just generalized anxiety about going back to the job that I hate. I spent half the morning applying to jobs. The reco...
And Sometimes Things Fall Into Place in Inside My Head
I had a successful VBAC and at 7:03 am delivered Noah Matthew. He’s still got a fair amount of lunago, he has some medium brown peach fuzz, and wide blue eyes. He is 6 lbs 15oz and is 20 inches. ...
Baby's Coming... in Inside My Head
I felt unwell last night and started having lower abdominal/pelvic cramps every 1 - 1.5 hours throughout the day. They last about 2 minutes. Since the interval and intensity hasn’t been increasin...
37w 4d in Inside My Head
I’m nearing the end. Baby is generally super active. I’m enormous…so everyone likes to tell me which is super helpful for my self-esteem. I’m having pelvic pains, which I have been told is the st...
You Can Get The Hell Out 2016 in Inside My Head
2016 has not been a good year overall for me. I’m due in February 2017 and I’m job searching while on maternity leave so I hope this year will be better for me. My parents came over but we all we...
30 Weeks! in Inside My Head
Had my most recent appointment yesterday. Baby is very active. Lots of sciatica and back pain, but generally feeling well. Eating everything I can get my hands on. At my last appointment my OBGYN...
Hate My Job in Inside My Head
I detest my job and the people I work for. It’s primarily scut work and the people I work for are inconsiderate assholes. I sent them an email last night and a text at 6am today that I won’t be i...
23 weeks 6 days in Inside My Head
I’m almost at the point of viability! I can’t believe the majority of my second pregnancy (SECOND!!) is almost compete. It feels so surreal. Back in 2013 it felt like I would never be at this poi...
Going Crazy in Inside My Head
I don’t know if it’s because I’m fighting with Michael or just generally unhappy with my life, but I’ve been thinking about college, especially about my relationship with Henry while in college. ...
Breakdown in Inside My Head
I’m almost 22 weeks pregnant and I feel so sorry for my unborn child. It’s coming into the world to parents who barely get along. Michael and I had a huge fight (again) and I just don’t see this ...
19 Weeks in Inside My Head
I’m 19 weeks pregnant. I feel the baby moving and genreally feel great! Anatomy scan October 3rd.
PPD in Inside My Head
I’ll be 16 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I think I’m starting to feel the baby move. According to the lab and test results everything is progressing normally. Although I am incredibly excited and feel...
13 Weeks in Inside My Head
Had my second ultrasound three days ago. The tech seemed bored and disinterested which is a bummer since this is sorta kinda a big deal for me. She forgot to take pictures so rushed quickly to gi...
I'm a Lunatic in Inside My Head
I don’t know if it’s pregnancy hormones or if the hormones are exacerbating my existing craziness, but I have not been a pleasant person to be around. Granted I have a LOT on my plate, but I have...
First Ultrasound in Inside My Head
As expected my first prenatal appointment with the midwife was a complete waste of my time. She didn’t do an ultrasound and her internal exam wasn’t particularly gentle. The only ultrasound appoi...
So Ridiculous in Inside My Head
So my OBGYN has me scheduled for a first prenatal appointment on July 8th but will not schedule an ultrasound until that appointment. This makes absolutely no sense to me. I’ll be 8 weeks pregnan...
Third Beta in Inside My Head
So latest beta hcg level is 3330 and a progesterone level of 14. I had my first beta drawn 12 days past ovulation and it was 113 and then rose to 310 2 days later. I had my last beta drawn a week...
Infertility Can Suck It in Inside My Head
Almost everyone takes fertility as a given. Most people think ‘When I get older and have kids....’ . There’s no ‘if.’ It’s just assumed that you will be able to have children if you want them. Ev...
What can men do against such reckless hate? in Inside My Head
Although this line is a quote from a movie, it has always resonated with me. How do you fight against someone (or a group) who is so hateful and illogical? How you do combat people who think it i...
Irony in Inside My Head
Since the end of my pregnancy with Sam and all throughout my maternity leave I was desperate to find a job with regular hours and a decent salary. I was just called for two job interviews which I...
Hopeful in Inside My Head
I may have gotten into some trouble with writing myself a prescription for a beta hcg level. I didn’t now that my attending physician will get faxed the report which may be a problem. I checked h...