Baby's Coming... in Inside My Head

I felt unwell last night and started having lower abdominal/pelvic cramps every 1 - 1.5 hours throughout the day. They last about 2 minutes. Since the interval and intensity hasn’t been increasing I assumed they were Braxton Hicks. I spoke to my sister Becca who originally agreed they were probably HB, but then I lost my mucous plug. I called the physician on call for the practice who agreed that it was likely early labor. Since I’m not actively bleeding and the cramping hasn’t been worsening in intensity it was agreed that I stick to my 8:15 AM appointment tomorrow.

My mother was supposed to come up the week before the baby was due, but that’s not until next week and I have a feeling I’m not lasting until then. I called her and Becca and I’m hoping someone can come. I dont want my in-laws staying at my house or babysitting Sam. They’re slobs, they’re rude, cheap, ignorant, selfish, and they are generally incompetent. The only reason they’ve been nice to me (relatively speaking) is because I started producing grandchildren. I don’t want to be worried about Sam while in labor. I know what a huge imposition it is for my sister and mother to drop everything and come help me…I feel bad asking. Actually I feel terrible.

I haven’t told Michael about the early labor only that I don’t feel well and I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I don’t want him calling his parents tonight who will come running here and sleeping over. Let them scramble tomorrow.

I’m scared. Terrified or petrified may be more apt deacriptions. I want a vaginal delivery because c-sections suck, but I’m afraid of pain. I’m afraid of having a complication. I’m afraid of the baby dying, PPD, taking care of two children, and having to go through labor.

I’ll see what tomorrow brings.

Artist

Last updated February 01, 2017