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ECV was unsuccessful. Baby is still breech. C-section will be scheduled next week. Mike and my sister said the same thing essentially; “It could be worse.” They could’ve told me they didn’t hear ...


December 17, 2014

Breech in Inside My Head

I went for my standard weekly appointment today and was told out of the blue that the baby is now breech. For the past month the baby was in a head-down position, ready to go. Now all of a sudden...


The baby is moving like crazy. It can get frustrating because I’m almost always uncomfortable (and it’s more than a little weird to have something punch or kick you from the inside of your body) ...


My last day of work was November 28th. New Jersey, along with California and Rhode Island, is one of three (THREE??!!!) states to offer paid maternity leave. I get 4 weeks prior to my due date an...


October 24, 2014

Depression in Inside My Head

I’ve had diaries since I was a kid, but I have kept up the longest with this one. I started it when I was 18. I recently turned 32. Since my earliest entries I’ve noticed signs of depression and ...


I’m six months pregnant and Im possiblely about to lose my job. It took me so long to get pregnant. Im scared about what this kind of stress is doing to my unborn child. I’m terrified of losing m...


In other news besides my pregnancy, I will have a new job. I’m a physician assistant (P.A.) in a neurosurgery ICU. I’ve working at my current job for four and a half years. I work three 12-hour s...


I am about 6/12 months pregnant. I started to feel the baby move about two weeks ago. At first it sort of felt like gas bubbles or something, but soon began to feel like infrequent but distinct s...


July 04, 2014

Jewish Rant in Inside My Head

Disclaimer I am Jewish so any complaints posted are not by an anti-Semite, just a disgruntled Jewish chick. Almost everything in my life, for once, is going the way I want it to. I'm almost 15 w...


I’m about thirteen weeks pregnant. The pregnancy is still going fine. My ultrasound on June 2nd and again yesterday show a normal sized fetus with a heartbeat and no gross abnormalities. This may...


Not all doctors are terrible. I went to another office today for an ultrasound appointment. I didn't tell them that I already had a scan. I didn't want them to refuse to see me. The doctor's offi...


So I am having serious thoughts about going into my doctor's office and just start beating up the staff. My first prenatal appointment was a few days ago and the midwife diagnosed me with a yeast...


May 21, 2014

Heartbeat in Inside My Head

I went in for my first ultrasound yesterday. I prepared myself to expect the worst. During my first pregnancy when they finally saw a gestational sac and yolk sac, I was so thrilled. 'It has a ch...


I'm terrified to write anything because that will acknowledge that this all may be for real and it may be taken away from me. On the flip side if this all goes well I want to document everything....


April 21, 2014

All Over Again in Inside My Head

I'm pregnant again. I don't even know how to feel. I can't go through another miscarriage.


April 10, 2014

Update in Inside My Head

The surgery took place March 14th. I cried my entire way to the operating room. The doctor was really nice though. He tried to keep me talking until I fell asleep. He was really good with updatin...


March 13, 2014

Surgery #2 in Inside My Head

Surgery is scheduled for 1:30 tomorrow. It's a form of torture to have it so late in the day. At least with my first surgery I was done by the afternoon. It's the wait just before that kills you....


March 08, 2014

I Asked For It in Inside My Head

I've been begging for an answer and now I have one. It's a nonviable intrauterine pregnancy. I have one more beta hcg level and ultrasound and then I will be scheduled for a D+C. I can't even t...


March 06, 2014

Terrified in Inside My Head

My doctor just called me an hour ago. Apparently the RMA NJ doctors have weekly group meetings and my case was discussed. I am considered an 'abnormal case' and instead of waiting until next Wedn...


March 05, 2014

Forever in Limbo in Inside My Head

Still no answers except that ectopic is pretty much ruled out. My beta hcg went up to 1732 from 1235. Still low side of normal bordering abnormal. The doctor saw a yolk sac on ultrasound. Next ap...


My beta hcg levels rose from 782 to 1235, which is pretty borderline. I have another appointment on Wednesday. Since the doctor thinks he sees a gestational sac in the uterus, a yolk sac should b...


The doctor went from "It's not a viable pregnancy" to "It may be a viable pregnancy, we're not sure." Beta hcg level rose again to 782. We saw a gestational sac in the uterus so ectopic is ruled ...


February 26, 2014

In Limbo in Inside My Head

The betas went from 66 to 54 to 140 to 465. The doctor can't tell me what's going on. This morning he told me the pregnancy is likely not viable. He gave me the option of doing a D+C and if the b...


February 24, 2014

Fuck You Embryo in Inside My Head

I may have an ectopic pregnancy. My beta went from 66 to 54.7 to 140.7 within a week. I was excited when my beta rose this morning -- I thought maybe the first one was a fluke or a lab error. Whe...


February 21, 2014

My Heart is Breaking in Inside My Head

So the IUI wasn't exactly a failure. I did get pregnant but it is likely a chemical pregnancy. I hadn't gotten my period since January 14th and the doctor's office insisted I get a beta hcg prior...


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