novelistbynite ⋅ 40

Mother of three daughters, plus a stillborn daughter. Novelist. On novel #19. Married. For now. Pansexual. Raising a lesbian, woot. University student (English and social work.) Class of 2021. Mother of an autistic daughter.

"Don't dream it, be it."

Richard O'Brien

Entries 82

Page 1 of 4

I keep looking at what it would take to finish school with both majors. I still want both…even though I know the writing one could be sacrificed. It does me no good, I know it. I love it anywa...


If I had my life to do over, and I knew everything I know now, I would have applied to university from high school. I was afraid I’d get in and not be able to afford it, and basically get laughe...


February 15, 2020

Dancing with Myself in Snowspangled

I kind of win the bet I made with you guys about whether he would remember Valentine’s. Technically he did remember, but at 12:27 am, so it wasn’t Valentine’s anymore. But still so early he pro...


So I tried out that makeup I bought today. It was a bad idea. I just can’t seem to stop crying it off. I’m okay, though. Good as I ever get. I shouldn’t be crying. Other than that time I miss...


Well, the journal-y people call it their “level 10 life” but mine is completely failed, so it’s really just a circus. There are monkeys. Family and friends: Actively avoiding about 50% of my s...


February 08, 2020

Hopscotch in Snowspangled

It’s the weekend. Kind of like a restart. Except you still have ten million things you didn’t do last week hanging over your head. I’m peeved at my husband. (This is not new.) Today’s crime: ...


February 08, 2020

Locke and Key in Snowspangled

No, no spoilers. That’d be rude. I’m just sitting here thinking, “jeez, this is the shit I loved eight, nine years ago…” and wondering if somehow I am one of those mystical unicorn indie kids wh...


Because it’s not a wonderful thing. No, seriously. All that hearts and flowers business is bull. Love is really about saying “hey, here’s the one special person who can rip my heart right out ...


January 18, 2020

Been awhile in Snowspangled

It has. It has been awhile. This is for a lot of reasons, most of them bundled up with my fun combination of rage, despair, learned helplessness, and sheer avoidance. Talking about shit ain’t ...


where is my motivation no time for demonstration smoking…my…inspir....a-tion… I think. That was from memory. Rabid Green Day fans may accept my apology. Woke up being shouted at. Very over sle...


There isn’t any point to life at this point. But what the fuck, I’m lazy, I’ll just sleep til I die. Or until people wake me up to tell me my phone is full, can they get rid of these stupid pi...


December 06, 2019

Fuck. in Candy Caned (December 2019)

Still fighting the dean of students. I feel as though she’s threatening me. I sent her an email detailing my reactions to the discussion we had Wednesday and how I felt she had demeaned me by s...


So I had to meet with a bunch of high muckety-mucks today. Because when shit went bad like two weeks ago (before Thanksgiving?) I used the school food pantry, which is supposed to be consequence...


I feel like a broken record, there’s rarely any happy here. So I fought with RP friend again today. I know it’s damn stupid, but I returned to an old site, and I signed up two characters, both o...


I used to laugh about this shit. I mean, it was kind of funny. Who gets triggered by someone else’s experience? Me. That’s who. This forensic mitigation case has begun to give me nightmares, g...


Everything’s exploded again. It’s exhausting to have this much shit be wrong with my life. I’ve had to see the dean of students. She wanted to know why I couldn’t get divorced now, so I had t...


I’ve been crying all day. Doesn’t matter what it is, anything will set me off. I just cried a couple of tears over popcorn a second ago. There’s nothing wrong with the popcorn. It’s very butt...


was on a patch on someone’s backpack. It kind of encapsulates my life right now. I’m up against some kind of wall: it’s part stubbornness, part apathy, part the speed of the changes, part proc...


Nano. Day 3, technically, although I haven’t slept yet and therefore, I am not making word count. I am very slightly ahead of the curve and that is fine. I planned a grand parasail into the no...


Or don’t, you don’t have to. I don’t have much to say in it, anyway. I have a yen to clean my room, but it’s so cold I might just crawl back into bed. I need to make a pot of chili. Maybe cor...


No, I’m not secretly Amy Winehouse. Dude, I can’t even sing. I’m just sighing my way through the end of another sucktastic Monday. It didn’t start, and that is bad. I must adjust my alarms. ...


you’re welcome. Every time I type, Makenzie has to come sit on or near or very close to the keyboard, as if she is telling me that she needs my hands on her more than I will ever need to express...


It’s 2:30 pm, it’s Saturday, it’s going to be a long week, and I’m unmotivated to begin. I’m wearing a sweater and pajama pants. I think I washed my hair Thursday. I feel invaded. The childre...


Had a rare treat this morning. Since the Beast had therapy, and her dad took her, I had the house to myself for a few minutes. I took advantage of it. I snuggled in bed and I listened to the q...


No, nothing died. My brain is on a Queen kick and I don’t have headphones. Miss ODD cut the wires on all my headphones because she was angry about bullies at school. Somehow, in her mind, cutt...


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