Have you missed me? Me, too. in April Showers (April 2020)

Fast unscramble.
Internship: Got. Love. I just adore my internship.
School: Zoom University can suck my butt.
Home:
- Still married. Ew.
-Still have roommates. Ew.
-Still have entire collection of children. Ew.

Medical: Still have seeping uterus. So ew.

Nothing’s really great. Nothing’s truly horrible. Nano has sputtered into the lake. It didn’t really take off, either. Maybe I am done writing? At the same time, I miss it. Maybe it’s what I sacrificed for sanity. Maybe I want it back now.

I wonder sometimes how I will even know myself if I ever find me. I think I am buried too far down in other people to be found. But I also want to live. Desperately.

The closest I am to a sex life is still sleeping with a shit ton of cats.

I have forgotten how to journal like me right now. I will try again soon. I’m just…not good. My first client died today. I am horrified and also sad, and sad at myself because my first reaction was very much wondering what reaction was appropriate. To be fair, I only met her once. But I wanted to help her improve her life, and now I can’t.

But I don’t know if that’s the part I’m sad about. I can’t tell. I’m very tired.