Brain dump the millionth in April Showers (April 2020)

I am very frazzled right now. I need to buy a new mouse. I do not know where my wireless mouse is, but I do have the dongle. By the Law of Small Electronic Objects, the moment I get a new one and get it going, the old one will show up. I will then plug the un-lost dongle back into it, and that will be fine. Something will Be Okay.

I have turned in one of the four papers due the 18th. Well, four and a half. And I turned in a first draft, so if we include drafts as papers, which we maybe should, I actually owe seven papers right now, because two of them are essentials that will have drafts. A third is a new format and I don’t know if it will need drafts, so there’s a freebie there. And the half is actually a whole draft, in Spanish. I don’t know why I’m not calling it a fifth paper. Maybe it’s to save what little sanity I have left.

But shit that shit is so gone. I am no longer sane. It’s gone. Like my virginity. Like my virginity, I kind of want it back. Right now, I am trying to make space for myself. I ran away from home today. I will go back in a while, when I don’t want to cry. Last night was bad.

Since this is anonymous (and if you ever figure out how it isn’t, tell me, so I can fix it) I’m going to tell the truth about last night. He’s been drinking NyQuil, as if that’s not actually drinking drinking, “for his headaches.” He went through about two bottles yesterday and part of the day before. I try to keep count, but he is kind of sneaky about them. (No, he’s not an addict! He says so.) Anyway, he had his sneaky nips, and he fell down, and then I grounded him to the sofa, where he was supposed to watch Agents of SHIELD and be good. Except I hate Agents of SHIELD because this Skye chick is an utter ripe Mary Sue and I’m not into that. So I left.

And he spent all night falling down, barfing, and at about 5:45, after falling down again, he started singing to the cat. No joke. He sang to the cat. Friends, I have never been that drunk.

(Although I do sing to the cat.)

And now he’s supposed to get the kids to school on time (this is 11 am, five minutes) and I’m supposed to go to therapy (and I need it) and I am trying to settle my acid indigestion because I had toast and coffee and my stomach didn’t much care for the combo I guess. Two people have screamed they hate me this morning and the cats had a fight. I don’t ever want to go home again.

Please don’t make me go back there.