Shit I Should Tell My Psychiatrist in Snowspangled

I should, but I won’t, tell my psychiatrist crap because she always threatens to hospitalize me but 1 - she never does it, and 2 - I don’t have time for that bullshit.

1. I have trouble getting your pills, lady. Spouse randomly orders refills and then he sometimes remembers to pick them up and sometimes he forgets. I could do this myself, but I have to be on campus while the pharmacy is open, so what class do I miss to get pills?

2. Your pills don’t do much. Seriously, I have been off meds since October, and I’m basically the same person now as I was then. Still miserable. I do shit solid now, though.

3. I can’t afford to make the changes you discuss. But you talk about it all like it’s easy to join a gym, or get 30 minutes alone for a walk, or change my diet when it’s dependent on a particular set of commodities - I don’t get to pick.

4. I’m hurting myself in places you will never ever see. No stupid little contract will ever stop me. You won’t even know it’s happened.

5. Sexual dysfunction, I has it. I don’t know if it’s due to depression or the uterine anomaly in there, though. Maybe I’ve hit the point in life where my bits just aren’t fascinating anymore because they bleed so damn much and I just don’t want them anymore.

6. If you cancel one more appointment on the day of, I will hunt you down and I will hurt you. I won’t kill you, but I’ll hurt you. I have to give YOU 48 hours notice. Why can’t I get that, too? Plus, you won’t do refills unless you see me, and you rescheduled both my visits last year day of, so I haven’t had whatever drug you had me on since October and March was the first appointment you had.

7. Teleconferencing would be so nice. Really. I wouldn’t have to wash my hair or wear pants.

8. I have no respect for you because you have no teeth in your threats.

9. I am very aware that I am supposed to see you every six weeks but Kaiser thinks I can get by with six months…a year…eighteen months…between visits. That’s not something I can fix. If you want it fixed, farm me out to someone who can do the job. You can’t work for Kaiser and help people.