In_Questionably_Sane ⋅
Entries 15
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What Am I Doing Wrong? in Depression
I’ve begun wearing makeup again. Wearing lowcut shirts, putting on dresses and my more form fitting clothes. Our sex life has gotten better, more open. But I have to be the one to initiate every...
Epitaph in Depression
I’ll never be the most attractive girl in the room. I’ll never have your full attention. I’ll never be enough for you. I won’t entertain that pretention. But when they ask who loved you longest I...
Hiding in Docs in Depression
Torn open For the world to see Heart broken It’s always me I was wrong I always am Soul crushing Door slammed I want it back What we lost Twisted stomach What’s the cost? I can’t do better Than I...
Setbacks in Depression
I felt like I was making progress. I was trying new techniques to help my personal/social life while using my go-to techniques for dealing with anxiety and depression. The weather warmed up. I wa...
Running Into The Other Woman in Musings of an Abandoned Wife
For the past couple weeks my husband and I have been working through it. We’ve decided to put our relationship first for a while and I’ve been so much happier. But I still have moments where I wa...
Trying To Work It Out in Depression
We talked. We fought. We slept. Then we talked and fought and talked some more. I’m exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. But I feel better. We discussed all things past and ...
Think About This in Depression
When I was still on right side of things, with my head straight and holding on every day, I didn’t care what I looked like. I could leave the house in jeans and an oversized t-shirt with no make-...
Seeing For What It Is in Depression
I went to my daughter’s school for an event. Actually we went as a family. She was there. I know he told her that I saw the story and that I think it actually happened. I know because he sent the...
Normally I would talk directly to him. I try not to vent to my friends because I don’t want people to think ill of him. I can’t talk to my family because they already have a lot of preconceived n...
Reconstruction in Depression
Some days I’m more optimistic than others. I’m sure I can rebuild my protective barrier and in no time I’ll be fine. Yesterday was a good day. I laughed. I enjoyed myself. My depression was at th...
Like a Castle in Musings of an Abandoned Wife
I know what hurt most about the whole situation. It wasn’t the possible infidelity. It was the betrayal. My marriage is like a castle. Protected during peace times by a tall wall amd drawbridge....
How I Know I'm Reaching The Limits in Depression
My depression happens in what I call cycles. It isn’t seasonal depression. It is different. In my mind I call it Dam Depression. I have never talked about it with anyone seriously. I took antide...
Haircut in Musings of an Abandoned Wife
I went for a haircut. I hoped it would make me feel like myself again. It has been a long time. I’ve been depressed. My hair was actually matted underneath. The poor hair stylist was so professio...
I laid with my head in his lap. Trying to feel something. Trying to get close to him. I wanted to feel his hands on me. I wanted to feel the love I knew was there. Still nothing. I felt empty. Li...
Random Thought Download in Musings of an Abandoned Wife
I have to get it out of my head. My throat is sore from the talking and screaming. We went at it for at least 6 hours. The conversation fluctuated from quiet apologies and taking the blame to the...
