Entries 5,442

Page 95 of 218

In general, humanity’s most prominent landmarks tend to fall into one of three broad categories: marvels of nature, marvels of engineering and marvels intentionally symbolizing a narrative the d...

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1.) If Persephone had thrown up in an attempt to not be trapped in the underworld by Hades, would that be “vomegranate”? 2.) Count Von Count’s here to do two things: kick ass and take numbers. An...

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some of us have demons some of us have ghosts most of us possess both all of us have something but most of us have both I have a lot more ghosts than I do demons I guess but that’s not somethin...

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coping with loneliness is like flexing a muscle for a while, it is just a normal thing you have to do sometimes but too long, it’s a cramp then a full charliehorse until the point you’ve been ...

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you can easily craft a fiction out of all facts a fan wears his lucky socks every game from the first tip the team he roots for wins the championship the...

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it was one if by land and was two if by sea second-time as a farce when at first tragedy so go the bald racist exceptionalist myths that once built America now return and burn...

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1.) I know little about image creation but I’m pretty sure a well-crafted rendering of a Goth Sloth would probably go memetic. 2.) A book called “Vernon Dursley And The Creepy Nephew With The Abi...

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1.) “I now call to order this month’s meeting of the state hysterical society” the well-dressed woman intoned and then everyone in the room started screaming at the top of their lungs. 2.) A film...

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1.) Your yearly reminder that the least funny day to make jokes or play pranks is April Fools Day. When everyone’s expecting it, it isn’t funny. You’re like an amateur hour drinker on New Years o...

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1.) Your NIN parody about reverse centaurs will be called “Head Like A Horse”. 2.) I feel like we are only about three years away from a coffee commerical with a rap jingle called “Crank That Fol...

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1.) We could update the story to be about John Ennui, the steel-drivin’ emo scenekid. 2.) There are few better things on a Saturday afternoon than baseball on the teevee and enough coffee to kill...

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1.) You can easily make a fiction out of all facts. A fan wears his lucky socks every game. His team wins the championship. These things have nothing to do with each other but put together withou...

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“How about this title,” she turned to her wife with a pause so pregnant doctors would induce a labor were it not just a metaphor, “Pastrami Ennui.” Her professor wife looked up from her pile of b...

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1.) Following youtube way too much, it’s funny how “having a baby” is becoming part of a scripted progression to being a “lifestyle youtuber”. You run out of food to cook or challenges to accept ...

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1.) When writing fiction based on real people places or events, the key is to try and stick to the real, unless something made-up would be more emotionally true, then go with that. Like how Roger...

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1.) Does the worm in a tequila bottle violate Lenten Friday laws? 2.) The more fictional the story, the more you can actually talk about the raw feelings of your life, without feeling like a melo...

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1.) This NCAA tournament needs to be sponsored by Tums because it is chalky as hell. 2.) I wouldn’t wish my nightmares on the worst person in the world, even when I’m in a mood when I think I’m t...

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1.) Raisins are just grapes that gave up on trying to be delicious. 2.) Go to a bar in a nice suit and a gimp mask. Order a martini and when someone finally talks to you, introduce yourself as “B...

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“You’re a miracle, you’re… impossible,” the scientist yelled, but not as a compliment or even a statement of fact, it was an accusation, “I’m only normal. Christ, I’m far less than normal.” I ask...

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1.) Making gravy from scratch brings up fond memories. 2.) Your album of death-metal covers of R.E.M. songs will be called “Problematic For The People”. 3.) You don’t want to make the cool kids ...

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1.) Walk around with an exaggerated limp and if anyone asks say that you took a shell in the Storage Wars. 2.) Sometimes, I will come up with a weird pun in my dream, type it into dream social me...

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balance is what’s required to walk that multifold luminous with one foot in each side of some goddamned false dichotomy without falling to either side or beginning to imagine that that imagi...

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1.) The e-mail from Google telling us to save anything on Google-Plus because it’s shutting down adorably presumes that anyone used Google-Plus for any reason other than claiming an account in ca...

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1.) How many journalists are waiting for a big yogurt heist so they can run with the headline “Cultural Appropriation”? 2.) We are moving toward the singularity where so many have declared for th...

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1.) You can’t know a culture from what it creates to last, that will only tell you the lies it told itself about itself. What that culture creates to be disposed of, that will tell you its tale i...

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