Entries 1,158
Page 10 of 47
Dentist.
I had another night of not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep. My back was hurting and I knew I had to be up early and I was worried that her appointment was going to run us late and she wo...
1 week.
We have until Friday with the Summer program and then it’s trying to figure out how to keep busy for like 11 days until she goes with her Dad. We still don’t have it set in stone exactly when for...
I don't even know.
Since I blocked him, I have gotten 3 friend requests from people who have mutual friends but I don’t know them or even ever heard their names. I don’t add people if I don’t know them so nice try....
Date last night.
Okay so I wasn’t really into hanging out with that guy I’ve been talking to this week but my friend said that I was just trying to look for the bad and blah blah blah so I got my kid over to my b...
Thursday.
So last night I got my daughter her dinner, bath and then she went to bed. I talked to a guy on the phone for about 3 hours. He’s really nice, has a job, car…the whole thing but he definitely tal...
Wednesday.
Daughter had her dentist appointment today. As it turns out, she has multiple cavities and will have to see someone else to get them taken care of. I have to wait for them to call and schedule he...
Tuesday.
I had to get my kid there by 8:30 for their field trip. She was excited to go. My friend called this morning asking me about coming to visit for the camping trip. She did sleep in her bed last ni...
Monday.
I called that other after school program this morning because the one she’s in ends next Friday and was told they are full and aren’t even accepting applications. We will have a month to figure o...
Some people's kids.
But yeah, I just think it’s crazy how my Mom was totally good with my daughter having a big sister but then had plenty to say about her Dad being in her life. I totally understand that this has b...
Things are hopeful.
We just kinda hung out after having breakfast at McDonald’s where my daughter told me she had stayed with her Dad while his girlfriend ran to the store and got her birthday stuff. It hit me right...
Change of Heart.
So I’ve definitely done a lot of thinking since yesterday and realize that I can’t be nasty about the next time they take her. I want my daughter to spend time with her Dad and I like my breaks. ...
Here's what happened.
So she finally text back and said the kids had her phone. I guess they were only an hour away. It would have been nice had she made me aware of that. So I decided to eat some lunch and I thought ...
No bed, morning text.
So I told my daughter before she left that she was going to come home to a new bed and it was to be here at 11:30. It never showed up. It’s almost 2 hours past the time it was to be here. I’ve ca...
Mental health dive.
So I’ve sat here by myself all day. I’ve cried a lot and just haven’t been in the best place in my head. She had gotten a hold of me talking about trying to end it with him and blah blah blah but...
Sitting.
I was up until about 1:30 this morning. The girlfriend was texting about him last night saying that she wants us to stay friends after him because he’s too stuck on his ex that passed away. I can...
Fourth of July.
So I returned the underwear that were too small and got cat food and dish soap. I got the transcript from the modification in the mail and talked to my Mom on the phone. It says that he can reque...
They picked her up.
I made breakfast this morning and finished packing her bag. I put some money in the bank and ran a couple of errands. Picked up the house and she took a bath. They came and got her about 3. He s...
Nap.
My daughter is napping but will be up soon. She’s been sleeping about 3 hours. My niece went home around 1 and my daughter stayed up until about 4. She’s had a busy week with her field trip and w...
Sunday morning.
I got cereal for my daughter and bacon for my niece. I had eggs and sausage. It’s already massively hot. I need to do laundry and make sure my kid has clean clothes for tomorrow. I need to get he...
Saturday 2.
Okay so I took the kids to the park. We were only there about 40 minutes. It was about 90 and the kids weren’t feeling it. My niece wanted the same shoes my kid has so we went to the store. BD me...
Saturday.
We went to my brother’s for awhile last night and had burgers. Shot off some fireworks. My niece spent the night. The kids had bacon and cinnamon rolls for breakfast. My brother said he wanted he...
Friday.
I have cleaned up the house and drank coffee. I do need to get some groceries, I’m just hyping myself up to go. I have a spot in my mouth that I am concerned about and I gotta wait for the dentis...
Just my thoughts.
I picked up my daughter and fed her a steak and cheese burrito for dinner. I didn’t give her a bath because she was too tired and said she wanted it in the morning. She told me that I hurt her fe...
Modification.
My daughter was absolutely obnoxious today and I was honestly glad to get her dropped this morning. I was definitely on edge getting my phone call over with and she was just driving me crazy. Th...
New bullshit.
So my Dad had a car accident at work a couple of months ago. Turns out, it was never reported to worker’s comp so he hasn’t received any money for his paychecks and they haven’t covered his paych...
Book Description
I’m really not into switching to another site but it looks like OD is going offline in the next few days. I downloaded my diary but it looks way different and doesn’t seem like all my entries are in it and that makes me very sad. I’ve gone through so much in the past 3 years and everything is documented on OD.
Anyway, I’m just exhausted from work and school. I love that I have so much going on and I am creating a better future for myself but getting enough sleep is always a task. I still have to take TYlenol PM every night or else I will be wide awake until I do. I am just so sick of it. I miss being able to go to sleep on my own. There’s just so much going on nowadays and I don’t want to spend all my free time at home sleeping.
I got most of my homework done and I feel pretty good about that. I’m glad that i’m in an easy math class this semester because that is my toughest subject. I love my computer class because it’s stuff that I already know how to do, I’ll just get better at it and learn a few things along the way.
So it looks like I’ll be going to court on the 21st for my small claim lawsuit against the place that fucked me over on my car. I talked to the mechanic today that worked on it and he said that he would go to court with me but I never believe they’ll actually do what they say until the time comes. I really hope he does because his statement is really important and I just don’t know who else is going to come with me.
I still don’t have much to do with my family. My Mom is probably the biggest bitch I’ve ever known and I just can’t stand trying to talk to her one the phone. I called her yesterday to let her know when the court date will be because I couldn’t hear her because they were in the car with the windows down because they were smoking and I tried to tell her I couldn’t hear her and she got all defensive so I hung up. I was just too fucking tired to deal with her attitude and how rude she is to me so I hung up and went about my day.
I decided that if they don’t give me any money when they get their taxes that I will be completely cutting them out of my life. I helped them with $1,300 in the month that I borrowed her car and gave it back with a full tank of gas so I do expect even $40 when they get their taxes. Her and my Dad both told me that they would give me some but I really doubt they actually will because they NEVER pay anyone back and that’s why no one helps them anymore but I almost lost my car and got my cable shut off from helping them and I just feel like if they don’t even attempt to pay me back then they didn’t appreciate me helping. I know that I need to cross them off regardless if they pay me back or not but if I don’t hear from them when they get their taxes, that will be the last fucking straw for me. My family has done nothing but use me and shit on me my entire life so I don’t expect much but it’s just sad how much they have fucked me over and the negative affect they’ve had on my life.
It’s been nice to be off today and yesterday, it’s been much needed. I just feel like I never get enough sleep and being sleep deprived all the time is really not good. I’m glad to have just been at home to hang out, sleep, take a hot bath and get most of my homework done. I hate feeling like I never get enough sleep and I feel like I walk around like a zombie most of the time. What made it worse was having to get up 3 days in a row and 2 of those days was dropping my car off to get some shit fixed. It’s nice to take my car to the mechanic and not have to deal with a bunch of drama to get it back. I don’t have to worry about anything and that alone makes me grateful to have a different car.
My ex is still on my mind quite a bit, more than what i want him to be. I just can’t understand why I can’t just forget about him and move on. I’m still stuck on why he treated me so badly and how he did everything he could to convince me that it was completely acceptable for us to never see each other and that if was fine for him to never include me in his life at all. I was just fighting a losing battle and wouldn’t let go of it. I know that it’s because I had no one else and loneliness was a huge factor but I will NEVER again let someone talk to me like he did. Just because he didn’t call me names like my ex John did, doesn’t mean he was any less abusive. He said some of the most awful things about not only me but people I loved and cared about. He got sick pleasure from knowing how much he brought me down. My friend at work said that I need to find happiness within myself and she’s right. I need to work on myself and figure out my feelings towards my past before I try to find another relationship because it wouldn’t be fair if I met someone now because they would suffer from how others have treated me and I’m not ready to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice to have someone to do shit with in my free time and I would love the company but I need to figure out myself first. My ex left behind a very confused, hurt, shattered person and I need to fix what he did to me, not by finding someone new but learning how to be comfortable within myself and focus on school and work and just doing me before trying to bring someone into my life.
