Entries 49
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Work ish
Writing this on my phone, so I can’t guarantee the proofreading will be there. Not that I usually proofread anyway. It’s been a crazy week at work. I’m covering for our payroll chick who left on ...
Appointment Recap
I told my therapist all about my recent entertainment from dating apps. Told her about meeting guy #1 and the original Sunday night drive-in movie plan but I bailed because my spidey senses said...
Situations
Thank goodness I have a therapy appointment tonight! Because I have a dude who has found himself attached to me, which was not the agreement. The agreement was summertime fuck buddies as soon a...
I understand the need for the sex talk now
I think it was two appointments ago, my therapist told me I’d be entering the rebound stage soon and more or less told me to behave myself for 6 months. That is how long she estimates my rebound...
Dating Apps
I had to check my last entry to see where I left off. Things at the courthouse went smoothly. I have a hearing June 12th for the finalization of the divorce. Before then, I have to meet with a...
Phone Anxiety
Does anyone else have severe phone anxiety? I’ve been holding off calling the courthouse regarding my case status because of my phone anxiety. But I called this morning and I was literally shak...
Sunshine is everything
Does anyone else’s hope meter rise a few notches with the sight of sunshine? Spring is coming. I can feel it. I did two things yesterday that I’ve been meaning to do since we moved here in 2012...
Indeed
So I’m at work browsing job postings on indeed.com. It is very eye-opening. There are, in fact, many jobs I am qualified for with only my two-year (accounting focused) AA that pay more than I’m...
Current yammerings
Guys I am trying REALLY hard to change my thought processes. Like I’m now really good at catching them when they start, but its the whole putting a halt to them that is the hardest part. While ...
A real-ish entry
I saw my therapist on Monday. I might not agree with her super religious background (which she didn’t even bring up on Monday - I think she got the hint) but she is really good at one thing: P...
Nope.
Me: “I did not drink too much wine.” Also me: “ Yes I did, but I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.” Also, also me: “Shut Up, self. You’re drunk.” So I texted the owners of the football team to let ...
No show
I don’t know. Maybe I do need to go back on meds. But I’m not exactly thrilled about the idea of having pills in the apartment either. Yesterday was a hardcore struggle day. Mentally. My le...
Life update
Things have calmed down since I last wrote. I’ve been spending 100% of my energy (although its still not much) on self-care. Moving/filing for divorce/having my friend serve him the papers comp...
Then it hit me
The fact that I filed for divorce yesterday didn’t actually hit me until the papers were served to him last night. And then it hit me hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he was going to ta...
Filed
The move this weekend went great. My mom flew in Friday night. I told my football team that she was flying in Thursday night because even though I was hobbling around on crutches, they still wo...
What an insane week is right
So at my last appointment with my therapist I told her I was waiting for a bomb to drop which would prevent me from moving this weekend. I told her whenever something starts going in the right d...
aaaaaand practice never happened last night
so i wrote my previous entry, and then my boss laid a big project on me in the late afternoon and I actually ended up having to work late and i did miss practice. I mean I could have went and ju...
whiney entry
Confession: There hasn’t been a football practice since in-season practices began the first week of January that I’ve actually been looking forward to. That said, I always feel better AFTER its ...
When you’re a solid 45 mins into you’re therapy appt...
And you notice the huge “Happy Birthday” balloon floating above the table right behind your therapist for the first time. And you’re mid-sentence and you stop what you’re saying and say “is it yo...
No Gas Left
Y’all. I feel like I’m running on empty. But hopefully the end result is worth this battle. The letter to the husband actually went really well. He took it to heart and seems to accept the fa...
letter to the husband
My husband has been heating up again and has now requested that I write him a letter detailing all of my thoughts recently. I told him I would write him a letter, but in doing so, it would come ...
appointment recap - its long and sorry i'm not sorry about that lol
so the appointment with my therapist, staring the hubby as the special guest, was last night. originally the plan was for me to pick him up after I got off work, but I hadn’t seen him since Thurs...
Y’all
I’m glad I’m standing up for myself and holding my ground and not at home. Hubby has been blowing up my phone. Yesterday I had to tell him that I was done texting for the day. I didn’t go to foot...
01/19/2018
Super long story, short: Hubby and I are doing a trial separation this weekend. Shit hit the fan Wednesday night, we talked Wednesday night, we talked last night (Thurs night) and I made an eme...
