Then it hit me in Self-Improvement, 2018

The fact that I filed for divorce yesterday didn’t actually hit me until the papers were served to him last night. And then it hit me hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he was going to take it. I rode with my friend to house last night and then she got out, went to the door and gave them to him after he answered and opened the door. I was in her car watching what I could see (very little). I was just so happy he was home, so that part at least could be done and over with.

Anyway, we went back to my apartment for like a half hour and talked. I got sooooooo drunk that I forgot to ask her to sign the papers stating that she was an UNinvolved person to the case, 18 years or older who delivered the papers to the respondent at the respondent’s place of residence. I remembered about 5 mins after she left. So I’m going to go to her place tonight to have her sign because I have to turn that into the court. Otherwise, its like last night never happened.

I began feeling really awful emotionally from the wine and the day’s and night’s events after she left and realized I needed to get sober quick. My lofty drunken idea was this: Soak in super hot bath and sweat the wine out. What really happened: Sat in tub with running hot water for 10 minutes, wondering why the bath wasn’t filling. I never even thought to flip the stopper lever thing. I only realized that once the hot water turned into cold water.

So there I sat in about 2 inches of luke warm water pondering life, wondering why I couldn’t even get that right and not feeling any more sober. I kept expecting him to blow up my phone with anger and rage, but that never happened.

This morning he texted me and said he got a copy of the papers last night (he had no idea I was with and in her car). He also told me he was going to adopt a young female yellow lab at the humane society today. He didn’t seem the least bit angry. He ended up adopting the dog indeed, apparently beating out 5 other people who showed up after him to check her out also. I guess it was her first day available for adoption. He even sent me a picture of the two of them on their drive home.

I am so tired. But I’m glad he seems to be handling it well.