cheesyemoheart ⋅ 26

"It has been said time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."

Rose Kennedy

Entries 243

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January 12, 2020

Sunlight heals all in In My World

There’s just something about a warm day in the winter. It feels like the start of something new, and maybe it’s just another day but today feels free. Big changes are coming and in the short-slee...

I had a bad bad bad dream last night. There was a nightmare part but overall just an awful dream. There was this creature that didn’t fit the… I guess resolution… of the dream and it scared me so...

When you’re reading a book about the end of the world, it’s hard not to imagine it being your world. You put the book down and expect the world to be in chaos but it all feels so… normal. The wea...

“I remember feeling low and I remember losing hope And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped. We are, we are all innocent.” Filed under: Lost in thought on the way home.

December 25, 2019

Merry Christmas in In My World

This has been by far the least Christmas-y Christmas in my life. I believe I did a pretty good job of hiding it but I’m honestly really depressed. I miss my mom. I know she comes back tomorrow ...

I have a really bad habit of downplaying anything that is wrong with me–even when it is completely valid for me to be broked/down/hurt/angry/etc. Maybe that’s why no one believes me when I start...

October 28, 2019

Sick of being sick. in In My World

I’ve been sick for a week now with varying symptoms and I am so frustrated. It started on Monday the 21st with a sore throat that hurt too much to swallow by the time I got home. Fever of 100.5....

October 28, 2019

Yesterday in In My World

My brother and I were in Walmart today to buy the switch I’ve been saving for and some groceries and animal stuff. I had already bought the switch and a game. While we were in line checking out ...

Have you ever had someone put into words exactly what you were feeling in a way you couldn’t articulate? On one hand they know what you’re trying to say and are truly listening. On the other you ...

October 02, 2019

A dream after a dream in In My World

I woke up into another dream only I didn’t know I was dreaming. We were talking but I’m not sure what about. I moved to put my head and arm on your stomach. I wiggled and you asked why so I told ...

September 19, 2019

Ultrasound in In My World

My appointment today went by so quickly and it made the ache… the grief so much worse. I shouldn’t have talked about it. I’d have been better off if I just buried it as far as I could. My cowork...

September 16, 2019

Grumpy in In My World

I’m so exhausted and restless that I can’t even fall asleep for a before work car nap. Now I have 40 minutes to waste whatever other way

I went to bed at midnight last night despite knowing my alarm would be going off at 4:30. I tried everything to get to sleep but by 1:30 I was still awake. I wasn’t even can’t-stay-still restless...

September 03, 2019

Hinder in In My World

Lets go home and get stoned. We can end up making love instead of misery. Let’s go home and get stoned ‘cause the sex is so much better when you’re mad at me There’s just something about that ...

Why do you have to come back here and shake things up again? I was doing just fine without you. I am doing just fine without you. I loved the way you made me feel but you hurt me when I was my m...

August 27, 2019

. in In My World

“I really hope you don’t hate me before I can finally find clarity.”

August 26, 2019

I'm sick of crying in In My World

Depressed means panic mode comes out a lot more. Panic mode means a lot more angry “attitude” moments. Everyone is going to start hating me but I swear I’m doing my best. I cried for over two ho...

I know it’s just the depression talking but I feel like no one gives a shit that I’ll be 25 in a week. I thought 25 was supposed to be important. A quarter of a century. I wanted someone besides...

August 14, 2019

Up before the sun in In My World

I finally fell asleep some time after 1 this morning and then I woke up some time before my alarm at 4:45. I’m so tired but your sleepy whimper and adjustment to pull me closer make it a little l...

I wrote out a good long entry tonight. It took me almost an hour to write and then the page refreshed itself before I could do anything and the entry was gone. What happened to autosave? This ha...

August 06, 2019

Nesting in In My World

I want to just skip ahead to the part of my life where I’m happy with someone that wants to spend their time with me and start a family. I want to own a little house that’s not perfect but it wor...

August 02, 2019

JCH in In My World

Today is your birthday and I miss you. I’ve thought about you a ton today and it hurts. I almost hope you reach out. You shouldn’t and I shouldn’t miss you. If you read this, Happy birthday. I ...

July 30, 2019

Warrior in In My World

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror tonight and for a fleeting second I saw her… She was younger then, naive, with galaxies in her eyes and an inferno in her soul. And once she faded all ...

July 27, 2019

Untitled in In My World

I haven’t felt this alone in a long time. I’m sorry, you deserved better. I broke my promises. I’m sorry.

July 22, 2019

Let go. in In My World

I’m pretty damned good at compartmentalizing. I really am. That said this shit hurts. I’ve tried and tried to get past it and I just land here every time. I’m sorry I’m not stronger. I wish I wer...

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