"Low-key Fuck 2020" in In My World

  • Dec. 31, 2020, 9:01 p.m.
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In 2017 I posted: “Fuck you 2017. You tried to kill me but I only made it through stronger. There were some of the best times and some of the worst times of my life and I am so ready for you to be over.
2018, please.. please be gentle with us. We are strong but we are broken. Give us time to heal.”

In 2018 I posted: “2019 be gentle with us… we are strong but we are broken.”

I posted nothing in 2019.

2020 has been a hard and crazy year for everyone collectively and I’m honestly terrified that 2021 is going to be worse. This feels like the calm before the storm. I need things to get better. Things can’t keep getting worse. I was just told “that’s life honey” but fuck that. I’d been through more shit by the age of 16 than most people have to deal with by the time they’re 40. I’m 26 now and it’s been non-stop for years. I look for the good in every day but collectively, everything just keeps getting worse and worse. Please for the love of all that is good and holy, please PLEASE tell me that things do get better. Or at least stop getting worse. I’m so fucking fed up with fighting all the time.

It’s a good thing I’m a goddamned warrior because half the shit I’ve been through would have killed anyone else. Maybe that’s not true. Maybe everyone suffers the same as I have. Maybe this really just is how adulthood is. I really hope that it isn’t, though.

2020 saw some of my best and my worst moments. An entire year took place in 8 years or 1 month; both the fastest and slowest year of my life depending on the month. How the hell is this year actually ending in 3 hours? I’m almost afraid to write my goals and resolutions this year. I just hope everything gets better or at least stabilizes for everyone.

I want 2021 to be a better year but this year has taken so much from all of us that I am genuinely afraid to say anything.

2021, Please, PLEASE be better.

Time is such an arbitrary illusion. There is going to be no difference between today and tomorrow but I believe there will be anyway. I have to.

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