littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,440
Page 24 of 218
nv6 in idea barrages
Perfect is boring. The little imperfections let the glory of the art or the person shine. Perfect things aren’t meant for here, may your works and your loves be bodhisattvas with just enough be...
nv4 in idea barrages
If your go-to seduction technique is making her laugh, that’s just funnilingus. Why did they roll with the neologism “bussy” when it was so obvious to run with the word “broaca”? There’s a ...
nov2 in idea barrages
Today I realized that Jimmy Fallon would be a perfect partner for Batman in defeating the Joker, as what with the always laughing at nothing to begin with, he would be immune to the Joker Gas. ...
prompt: shade, title: the mystery of faith in misc. flash fiction
I was sitting at the High-Catholic funeral for the grandfather of two of my oldest dearest friends, thinking how much he would’ve appreciated the rituals. The singing, the incense, all the milita...
bonus barrage in idea barrages
If you’re gluten intolerant, it’s likely you’re also fettuccine afraido. In Seinfeld, they so easily have called “the airing of grievances” in Festivus “the bitching hour” instead. Pretendi...
to the tune of THAT'S AMORE - "That's Giada" in song parodies
when the girl on the screen mispronounces cuisine that’s Giada when the thing on teevee calls “gnocchi” GNAY-OH-CHIIIII that’s Giada she will sound like-a-...
A parody of LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” about Conan the Barbarian starting with the line “Don’t call it a Crom back / I’ve no tongue for prayers”. Sometimes the ancient gods would h...
oct 28 in idea barrages
Write a book called “How To Hunt Porch Pirates” so that people can order it from Amazon, leave it on their porches for the thieves so that when they open the stolen mail, they get the fear of G...
oct 26 in idea barrages
Why call it “drunken master fighting” when you can call it “brew-jitsu”? Gingivitis is actually an STD from going down on too many redheads. No, the WEIRDEST distant sequel to a Madonna fil...
prompt: bob, title: be kind, rewind in misc. flash fiction
When I was just a teen, back in the Nineties, video stores shadowed the firmaments, swarmed in great thundering waves, much as the buffalo teemed the American prairie before Columbus came along a...
oct 24 in idea barrages
Panera should totally take the name “Bread Broth and Beyond” now, before some venture capital company takes over Bed Bath and Beyond’s zombie IP to sue people for doing stuff like that. The m...
oct 22 in idea barrages
Why say “occasional diarrhea” when you can say “shittermittent”? Whenever a website begs me to remove my adblocker, it’s like a really sleazy dude begging to not wear a condom. Like, I know ...
oct 20 in idea barrages
I don’t know what the film / book mash up “My Own Private Ivanhoe” would look like, I just know someone should do it. Ever since he got his own clone as a sex slave, he’s been so full of hims...
prompt: rise, title: what are you going as this year? in misc. flash fiction
There’ll be kids dressed as Pokémon, all around on Halloween, their moms dressed-up as the sex bombs they rarely ever get to be. Toilet paper hastily festooned from the trees, once rare as hen’s ...
oct 18 in idea barrages
The Exorcist reboot sounds TERRIFYING…ly unnecessary. Did Carol Burnett ever do a gag where in the last skit of the show she was playing a zombie and in the outro when she tugs her ear, she t...
oct 16 in idea barrages
A standing desk, that just sounds like double the work to me. At the very least, you should get paid extra for the awkward standing and leaning, pretending you’re being healthy but just hurting...
oct 14 in idea barrages
Are people who seem to jump out of planes straight into your DMs “parasocials”? There’s a weird legislated nostalgia for Blockbuster as “the best video store” but unless you wanted the newes...
oct 12 in idea barrages
I hope Princess Peach and Mario Mario name their daughter Amelia Mario so that people can point at her and be like “It’s Am-y… Mario.” I demand that when Bon Jovi does a farewell tour, he cal...
prompt: current, title: currency exchange rates in misc. flash fiction
In most ways, it’s best to be diminished like this. Insubstantial. Little-known, even to academics. No worshippers at all. The height of godly powers, gorging on your adulations and supplications...
octo10 in idea barrages
Imagine if they made THE BIG CHILL today. Imagine how awful the digitally de-aged flash backs to college would’ve looked, how unnecessary they would’ve been to the plot but some producer who di...
octo8 in idea barrages
I also love how some fancy food sound like old timey insults from the 1920s. “YOU TRUFFLED FLATBREAD!” “YOU BLANCHED FIDDLEHEAD!” “YOUR MOTHER’S A PICKLED RAMP!” There is an alternate reality...
octo6 in idea barrages
At a low enough resolution, Mickey Mouse and Princess Leia are eerily similar. If you wanna build a Mary Chapin that lasts, don’t DIY that project, hire a trained and bonded Mary Chapin carpe...
prompt: copy, title: one step forward, two steps back in misc. flash fiction
“Look,” the administrator said, sitting in the desk hovering above him, her authoritative pantsuit brought neatly together by a slender purple neck-tie, “you came to us well-regarded, MXY-944.” “...
octo 4 in idea barrages
A parody of Crazy Town’s “Butterfly” (you know, the come my lady, come come my lady) about John Mulaney. John Mulaney, John John Mulaney. The best name for a “pick-up-artist” (if those odious...
somebody once in poetry
now that the guy from Smashmouth has sadly shuffled this mortal coil I wonder who gets custody of Guy Fieri? is it Nickelback? do you think that it’s Nickelback? Scott Cr...
