to the tune of THAT'S AMORE - "That's Giada" in song parodies

when the girl on the screen
mispronounces cuisine
that’s Giada

when the thing on teevee
calls “gnocchi” GNAY-OH-CHIIIII
that’s Giada

she will sound like-a-valley-girl like-a-valley-girl
till she says “boil SPAAAAAAAA-GHET-EEEEEE”
you will think she’s driv-ing-you-to-drink, driv-ing-you-to-drink
when she says “MAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHR-SCA-POOOOHHHHHHHHN”

when half your body weight
is your tits and your face
that’s Giada!

when she says “PAHRM-SEE-ANI-OH REHHHHHHHGIN-A-NOOH”
you’ll throw up!
her mom’s from Italia but she was raised in Pas-a-dina
excuse me, but you see, it’s not FEEEET-OOH-CHEEEN
but that’s Giada

you’ll know that you’re in hell
when she says MUTZ-AH-RHELLL
stop Giada

when some rich libertine
tries to say it’s LIIIN-GWEEEENE
that’s Giada

she will sound like-a-valley-girl like-a-valley-girl
til she said “sliced PAHN-CHEEEEEET-AH”
you will think she’s driv-ing-you-to-drink, driv-ing-you-to-drink
when she says penne is “PEEN-AH”

when the televised fool calls it “PAH-STAAAAAH FAH-ZOOOOOL”
that’s Giada
when the director lets ya pronounce it BRU-SCHKEEEET-AH
you’re a fraud!

her mom’s from Italia but she was raised in Pas-a-dina
excuse me, but you see, you’re not in Napoli
stop, Giada
Giada, stop, Giada