A sudden turn of events in The dating game

I have a friend I met online, more than a decade ago. We met through blogging and we’ve basically been through many years of highs and lows without ever managing to meet in person.

Literally births, deaths, marriages, new jobs, relationships starting and ending.

There’s always been a bit of lighthearted, flirty banter between us but I think that’s just our personalities.

Last night, out of the blue, things took a turn. Our messages became much more flirty, a little more smutty if I’m honest and I’m not gonna lie, I’m here for it.

He’s been a very good friend over the years, given some wonderful advice, been a shoulder to cry on and never been judgemental. There is a lot of me that worries about what this latest development will do to that when we do actually meet in person, I mean you can’t take back what’s happening between us right now.

However, he has a lot of wonderful qualities and is a thoroughly lovely guy who really makes me laugh. All I know is that over the last 24 hours-ish, he’s made me laugh and smile more than anyone else has in a long time. He’s made me feel desired and attractive and I’ve not felt either of those things in a long time.

I guess that yes it comes with some anxiety, we’ve crossed a line that will be hard to step back from and I do value our friendship greatly. But also, we both were messaging last night and every message I was thinking ‘things have taken a bit of a turn here’ but neither of us stopped it, and it’s been ongoing throughout today, in the cold light of day.

I guess our next step is to just try to enjoy it, have fun, and arrange to meet up and see if the spark is there in real life. We live about 100 miles apart but it’s quite easy for one or the other of us to travel, a bit more tricky actually making the time when we’re both crazy busy at the moment. Although actually his work will begin to bring him up this way more frequently again in the next few months.

It’s been a long time since I had a first date, 7 years in fact. And this is weird in the sense that we know each other incredibly well, it’s not like starting at the beginning when you’re meeting someone you don’t really know. There’s already a level of intimacy that you don’t normally get with a first date.

I have a swirly stomach, butterflies and a Cheshire Cat grin. I’m incredibly nervous but also it’s really exciting. We’ve been able to be risqué, but it feels safe because it’s him and he knows where my boundaries lie before I’ve even had to say anything.