Entries 261
Page 7 of 11
23 - 05.05.14
Twenty three days of work left. Went to body attack class tonight, hated most of it. Glad I went, though. I was almost convinced to stay for pump class straight after, but wasn't sure how I'd...
Down I Go - 04.05.14
The usual Sunday blues. Picked my sister and her fiance up last night and drove them home because they were drunk. Bickered with my sister in the car because she acts like a complete spanner w...
Ell Oh Ell - 03.05.14
Thursday and Friday passed quickly, which was nice. The Jason Derulo concert was pretty entertaining. I would never have paid money for a ticket, but I still enjoyed the show, great dancers etc...
Bottom Out - 30.04.14
My day ended on a massive low. I don't know what happened, but I ended up being really upset about missing my gym class due to a dumb chain of events, set off by my grandmother (which should not...
Trying - 29.04.14
I'm trying to get my mood up. Today I had a few good moments with my work friend, laughing and being silly. I went to the gym and really struggled through my pump class. Bought a salad to eat ...
Depressing - 28.04.14
What a depressing day to be at work. Coming back from a 3 day weekend is depressing enough, then add this: A grey, drizzly day. Walking past my brother, fast asleep in his bed, obviously not g...
Nice - 26.04.14
It's always nice to have peace and quiet, and privacy, when I am house sitting for my sister. I can take a dump in peace, I can cook for myself, I can nap and watch television and sit on a couch...
Unknown 25.04.14
Got an email from M at 5:15am his time. Don't know what to think about that. M will never, ever, ever get himself out of bed at that time, unless he's ill or getting up for work. He also hasn'...
Happy Oyster - 20.04.14
Went to Graham's house last night to hang out with Heslop. It was nice. It was just the three of us, and we ordered complicated pizzas, made stupid jokes, and watched Hot Tub Time Machine. I...
And Like That ... 18.04.14
Just after complaining about not hearing from M in weeks, an email appears. He was responding to an email I had sent a week or so earlier, not the argumentative email, but a regular chit-chat em...
On Edge - 17.04.14
Still feeling insanely furious about stupid things. Enraged in traffic, although I don't really show it, other than racing past people like an asshole once they finally get out of my way. Hatin...
Hmm - 10.04.14
I'm reading everyone's entries, just don't have anything encouraging to say in the comment box, so I do apologise for that. I was just starting to have that feeling of things coming together, f...
FML - 07.04.14
I feel like I'm getting hammered by migraines lately. I've had three whoppers in 2 weeks. Right now I am working through the aftermath of one, where it's like a hangover. Every movement hurts m...
30.03.14
I'm still alive, I guess. Very unhappy today, as I am most Sundays. Nothing doing here. I have 2 months left in my job. My weight is out of control. I go to the gym a decent amount, but I am...
12.03.14
“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a go...
X - 04.03.14
Still plodding along. Telling myself that all I have to do is keep getting up and going to work each day. Sounds easy, right? It's not. It's really not. I feel really useless, and like I alw...
Arrogance - 03.02.14
Watching old episodes of The Office and rolling my eyes at Jim and Pam being upset at 12 weeks apart (a TWO HOUR DRIVE apart). 12 weeks would be a fucking cake walk! I'm such an asshole. Such ...
Steps - 26.02.14
Since I last wrote (yesterday), I have taken care of two small tasks. I feel better for it. I don't want to jinx it, but I think M is back. We had a small conversation via email today, the mos...
Stop - 25.02.14
I'm finding it really hard to complete the smallest of tasks. To do one little thing each day to get my life in order is just BEYOND ME. I'm a disgrace. I don't know how to fix it. It's all t...
Hang It - 23.02.14
Plagued by suicidal thoughts today. Not to the point where I will take action, but still plain awful. I feel absolutely tortured. My heart isn't just bruised, it's torn open. I hate myself fo...
Inadvertent - 22.02.14
I needed more washing powder the other day, having finally used up the stockpile that M and I had. I grabbed a small box of whatever was on sale, not really paying attention. Took it home and u...
And, Down - 21.02.14
Back to being angry with M. It's very impractical. I can't do anything about this situation, much to my dismay, but I am still blindly following along, so whingeing about it is fruitless. Slow...
Wasted - 16.02.14
I went to see Dolly Parton last night with mother, my sister and a friend of mother's. It was a great show, nothing else to report. Packed another box today. Overwhelmed at the sheer volume of...
Unwarranted Anxiety - 15.02.14
Feeling a bit anxious today. It's that feeling that my move is on the horizon. In stark contrast to my previous entry, I am once again looking in M's direction. I wish my emotions could be mor...
Repeats - 11.02.14
Back to being angry. Furious at how selfish he is. How stupid I feel. Indignant at how he called me "childish" in an earlier argument, yet he behaves like this. I have no compassion left for ...
Book Description
This story is about my life with M.
M and I met on another online diary site in around 2006. He was in New York, USA and I was in New South Wales, Australia. We formed a friendship and spoke nearly every day, whether online or on the phone.
Towards the end of 2008, we realised that we had become more than just friends, and we made plans for me to travel to the US in 2009. So I did.
We spent 6 months in New York, before moving to New Mexico. We got married in New Mexico and I had to return to Australia shortly after.
M followed me to Australia over 4 months later, in mid-2010.
M has now returned to the US, and I will be following him in October 2013. We are going back to New Mexico, where we have a friend to live with at first and a storage unit full of our stuff. We plan to head back to New York to settle within a few years.
