Entries 133

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I’m compelled to sit down and write right now. I’ve also been feeling the call to start painting again…last night I almost picked up a pen and started doodling…I came really close. On this road ...

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I haven’t had a job for about a week and a half. I quit my job because I had another one lined up, but the starting date for that job keeps getting pushed back. I’m not worried about it, I’m just...

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I can’t spend all of my time thinking about the fourth dimension. Sometimes I need to remember that I’m right here, right now. …I’m actually really good at living in “the now”. Probably too goo...

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Mixed states are something that are relatively new to me…I can’t remember if they started before I began my medication or not…I feel like they may have, but I was just talking to someone last nig...

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My entire life I have had a reactive merkaba, and for the first time in my life I am working on tuning it to be active. I’ve been having moments of near ascension lately, and I can only assume t...

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I haven’t been on here in a long time. There are so many reasons for my absence, but I don’t really want to get into any of them right now, or maybe ever…probably never. I think I should start a...

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I’ve been taking a little break from everything. Sorry I’ve taken a break from this site and I’ve taken a break from replying to comments…I should be replying to every comment and I should be re...

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So, today I got my certificate for the coding bootcamp that I’ve been in for the last six months. Not everyone made it…one guy dropped super early, the other class had about half the class drop,...

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I talked to Golnar for a few hours tonight and that was really nice because she’s been out of town for the last two weeks…and I’ve been missing her a ton. People always ask why we don’t just dat...

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Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with one of my best friends, Wesley, but I had all of this candy that I got from a school party, and the candy gave you a ton of energy, very simil...

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“My name is Elohim, and I am come to be your god.” … I got to a point, once, when I was practicing controlling and using my Theta energy, where I could control fire with my breath…and then I got...

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I’m having one of those nights where I wish I could crawl out of my own skin and get the fuck away from every nerve ending I’ve ever created in this fucking fleshy time machine. I can most defin...

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I have been absent. I know this. I have been struggling with a very deep depression that has been ruling my waking life with 12-16 hours of sleep. It’s all I can do to do the bare minimum and ...

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Software engineering makes me feel stupid. I must be stupid. I am stupid. Hello, my name is( { myName: “dumb person” } ); yeah…whatever…we’re not here to talk about that though…or are we? Oh, ...

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I guess I’ve been gone for kind of a long time now? I don’t know exactly how long it’s been, but it feels like it has been a long time. I haven’t been able to read or write anything on here…not...

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I feel like I should write something because I haven’t written anything in a long time, but I don’t have a whole lot to write about…I’ve hit this point where I feel like my life is just static an...

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“It’s not my fault It’s your own fault I’m not human at all I have no heart.”

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The sun is red…or red-brick orange, maybe? And it’s not even 3PM yet and it feels like dusk…it’s just so dark…and it’s so hot, almost 100 degrees or something, I haven’t even been outside because...

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I’m just calling this entry #1 because I might write another entry later tonight…I can kind of feel it in my bones…lately this website has been saving my fucking life, and I have to thank all of ...

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“Well, you know I hardly speak… …and when I do, it’s just for you… …I haven’t said a word in weeks… …cuz they’ve been keeping me from you.” So…this has been a weird day. Golnar and Brittany bot...

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I’ve been feeling so tired lately. Tired like I’ve never felt before…like, I will wake up and it will just hurt…and I’ll have to nap after I get home from work…I’ll go through my entire work day...

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My baby sister came to visit…I live with my parents right now because I made a giant mess of my life and I am trying to clean it up…so she didn’t come visit me…she didn’t really come visit our pa...

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I think I’ve finally admitted to myself that YOU are not something I should be holding on to anymore…and does that mean I’m going to do anything about it? I don’t know? I might just hold on to ...

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“I offed myself today, but I’m alright…I’m with all my friends cuz they’ve all died.” The fucked up thing about getting older is that you and all of your friends don’t die…and you’re not with e...

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Last night I spent a lot of time really thinking about my life…I mean, I spent a lot of time just dissecting that shit…pulling it apart…putting it back together again…watching the way it worked, ...

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