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The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

by Superposition

Entries 133

Page 5 of 6

November 08, 2017

One week.

I made it an entire week without having a drink, but then today I jammed with my buddy and now I’m drinking. waaah waaaah. I never said I was going to quit forever. It feels great to be jammin...


November 07, 2017

Flying man

I finally booked my flight to SLC, only to find out that my mom and two of my sisters are going to be in another state attending to some dumb bullshit that I can’t even talk about. So I need to ...


November 06, 2017

writing to write

I always get weird in the fall…the world gets darker and colder. I have strange floods, memories, they rush in and fill me up and make me cold and wet. I miss my grandparents. I miss actual se...


November 04, 2017

Changes

I’ve made a lot of changes this last week, small changes, but probably important ones. I’ve been exercising, I actually got my bike fixed. It’s not like I’m going crazy or anything, but I’ve be...


November 04, 2017

Cut Off

(This entry was from a few nights ago and I got cut off half way through when I lost internet connection. I didn’t know this site was going to save it. So I am going to publish this and then writ...


I’m bad at reading other peoples diaries on here…I just come here to vent and dump. Right now I’m stuck on how bad of a grandson I am. My grandpa is dying, as we speak…he’s in the hospital, the...


I saw my therapist today. We decided that I am going to start exercising and quit napping…I mean, those are mainly her ideas, but I kind of agree with them…I mean, I know exercising will be good ...


October 23, 2017

Name Change.

I had to change my name. I googled myself and this diary was linked on like…the third bullet point. I didn’t think I cared that much about being discreet, but it turns out I do. I had another d...


October 22, 2017

Where am I even going?

Thursday, I wake up and vomit bile. Get back in bed, shivering in a cold sweat. Get up. More bile, but this time it comes out my nose too. more cold sweats. Fever. I end up giving up my shi...


October 16, 2017

#meToo

I’m not going to lie…my heart is broken into so many tiny pieces right now. I’m sure most of you know that over the last few days there has been a movement on social media…posting #meToo as a wa...


…you wouldn’t make love to me. You went fast asleep, you wouldn’t even talk to me. You say I’m so crazy coming home intoxicated…I said, “I just want to love you” (I just want to love you, baby) I...


October 15, 2017

Hemophiliac

This is my second entry today…but I’ve been jamming this song again lately, and we are going to be playing a show soon and I guess I just felt like I wanted to share this with the few of you who ...


October 15, 2017

I am not this body or mind.

Just like the waves in the ocean, a tiny little splash of malt liquor in the sea of drank, 40 more milligrams of Latuda through your nervous system. It’s hard to not feel separate from the rest ...


Every time I see my psychiatrist I have to lie to her about how much alcohol I drink and I fucking hate lying…so I’ve started to kind of hate going to see my psych. She’s like, “I don’t want you...


October 12, 2017

Better late than never.

I’m sitting here just kind of drunk and just kind of stoned and just sort of manic and maybe a little bit depressed, like maybe I’m suicidal but I don’t actually want to die or kill myself, I’m j...


September 06, 2017

My first experience using DMT.

I say this is my first experience with DMT, because I plan on using it at least a few more times in the hopes of navigating the spaces a little more thoroughly. I will do my best here, to explai...


August 23, 2017

Things I can't confess to

I had a dream about one of my ex’s last night and it’s kind of been fucking with me all day, and then I just checked Facebook and her picture was one of the first things I saw because she was in ...


July 13, 2017

Blah Blah Blah

I wish I had a better reason for not writing in a long time than just that I’ve been playing a lot of Nintendo 3DS. haha. That’s about it. That’s all I’ve been doing. I mean, I’ve been going to...


July 05, 2017

Here we go again.

Not a whole lot to write about lately. I have just kind of been working and partying, and then working more and then partying more…nothing extremely productive, really, but that’s fine. Well…I m...


June 26, 2017

I Am The Other Man.

I am the other man now. One of my ex’s just contacted me on instagram and started following me, and we began talking for a little bit…and just kind of cleared the air. Today she messages me aga...


June 25, 2017

Maybe

I had a long talk with my mom tonight after work. It was really nice. I love that woman so much more than makes sense, because I have also had so much anger at that woman. The anger is mostly go...


…then I did a bong…then I blocked a bitch. Thanks for the advice, everyone.


This fucking bitch that started note spamming me a while back with a bunch of hateful nonsense won’t leave me alone now. Apparently her brother died…he was 33 and very successful, yet he died of...


I wasn’t supposed to work today, but my manager called me last night and asked if I could open this morning…and also if I could open tomorrow morning. My first instinct was “Oh, I wonder if John...


June 22, 2017

Daddy issues Long Leg

I just played with the cutest little baby spider I have ever seen…and by “played”, I mean I kept trying to get it off of my sweater and out my door that leads to the back patio, and it literally ...


Book Description

This is the story of my life.