The real me

Entries 84

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March 24, 2020

New outlets in Done drinking.

Instead of cutting I have moved on to slamming the back of my wrist against a hard surface. The back of my hand and wrist are all kinds of different colors at the moment. The drinking is the sam...

December 26, 2019

Staying at our camp in Done drinking.

So I temporarily moved into our. Family camp/ cabin. Fullly functional for year round use. Only 5 miles from the house and horses. I. Can still go every 5 days and refill water tanks and put Hay ...

December 11, 2019

Shit in Done drinking.

So I have been struggling lately as of Monday last week my oldest brother was in congestive heart failure I personally was hoping he would fucking die he ruined my childhood and I still hate him ...

November 14, 2019

Bad in Done drinking.

I know things are getting bad when I order exactlyI know things are getting bad when I order X-Acto knife’s online. I don’t want to kill myself just cut

October 26, 2019

Ugh in Done drinking.

Having a bad night. Trying to get shit done around the barn before winter hits. Was planning on spreading manure on the pasture tomorrow that’s not going to happen. Apparently the riding lawnmowe...

I’m out in the mountains of new Hampshire for 15 days. Brought 2 horses with me. Eddie the 6 year old and twitch my 15 year old mare for my nephew to ride this weekend. For the last 3 1/2 years ...

January 03, 2019

Not fun in Done drinking.

Having issues with trying to get sober. After the first day I start hear noises in my room sounds like mice chewing stuff around me. I turn on this YouTube video of so called sonic noises and run...

December 26, 2018

Ugh in Done drinking.

I want to cut so badly at the moment.

August 23, 2018

New puppy in Done drinking.

We have a new puppy in the house. Her name is cookie she is a chocolate lab. Just turned 8 weeks old she’s my nephew tramaynes new dog. My dog a soon to be 4 year old great dane has done well wit...

August 03, 2018

Drunk in Done drinking.

My FB might look good but for the most part I am fucked up. 2 day and and I finished off a bottle of bicardi 151 proof rum. Along with some 100 proof vodka. Really haven’t slept since Tuesday mo...

Thursday my family will be going to visit our new puppy she is only 3 week’s old a chocolate lab. It’s going to be my nephews dog. He will be responsible for pretty much everything. My parents an...

April 07, 2018

Yup in Done drinking.

Definitely going to be heading to florida this coming winter for 5 months. So sick and tired of the cold and snow.

March 27, 2018

OD information in Done drinking.

Im PridesAFiorDiLAbbra on OD. And can be reached at

March 27, 2018

OD information in Done drinking.

Im PridesAFiorDiLAbbra on OD. And can be reached at

March 27, 2018

Yup in Done drinking.

Had a feeling this was coming to an end after OD returned. I have loved reading all my friends adventures on here. OD was always my home so people can find me at PridesAFiorDiLAbbra or FB http...

February 20, 2018

Where to find me in Done drinking.

I am posting back on OD had a lifetime membership and was able to recover my whole diary. If people’s want to read I’m under Pridesafiordilabbra. I am still reading all my favorites on here.

January 29, 2018

OD is home to me. in Done drinking.

I’ve already written 2 entries on my old diary. I am lucky I had a lifetime membership. I never felt at home here like I did there. There are a lot of diarys here that I enjoy reading and keep...

December 13, 2017

AA in Done drinking.

How does one do AA when they are terrified of groups? I need help I know it. I have looked into meetings but with the anxiety and panic of being around more than 2-3 people let alone driving thes...

December 08, 2017

Almost 4am in Done drinking.

Depression is setting in. I haven’t taken my meds since April. I’m wishing I was back in Florida for the 3rd winter. I hate the fucking cold and snow. Already having panic attacks about going to...

October 19, 2017

Hoping in Done drinking.

I am hoping OD comes back. I know it won’t be the same. But I have never felt like this was home like I did on OD. I don’t share like I did. I don’t have the friends I was so close to. I know if...

September 29, 2017

I miss you in Done drinking.

I miss you grabing my knee to make me laugh calling it an octopus kiss. I wish you got had gotten to meet my first horse skippy who has been in heaven with you for 7 years. I wish you could hav...

September 29, 2017

Drunk in Done drinking.

Can’t walk straight. Unfortunately won’t be able to visit the cemetery tomorrow.

September 28, 2017

Cemetery in Done drinking.

Don’t know if I can bring myself to go to the cemetery Friday. It will be 17 years since pepere died been drinking way to much to the point of not being sober for days at a time. I just keep go...

September 19, 2017

I cut in Pridesafiordilabbra

Took apart a lady razor and cut my ankle. Good thing it’s long pants and socks weather now.

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