gingerblonde* ⋅ 34
Entries 80
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painting me in Thoughts.
I offer you everything, and nothing.. a canvas, full of possibility, for you to paint with passion, desire, possession, to tell a story of how I belong to you with every mark, every brush, every...
terrible (poem) in Thoughts.
One time I used you. and I expected you to be grateful, like a moment of giving myself to you- even just partially is like giving you riches, showering you in decadence… It really wasn’t fair of ...
bbg. (idk what im doing here) in Thoughts.
I can’t focus when it comes to you. It is literally like.. stillness in my mind, but all that exists is this hunger for you. This eagerness to please you. This greed to feel you. This want, t...
… You want me to forget you, and I probably will. But for now, I think of you when I open my refrigerator and see the butterscotch syurp. I think of you when I hug my squish mallow. I think of yo...
ripped and broken and shattered in Thoughts.
She was shattered, broken glass on floor with rose petals, or blood.. a combination of both. There were lies behind her eyes. She twisted time in her mind, wringing cloths to keep moving, always ...
A solution always comes at a price. in Thoughts.
I got set up with a therapist. I go back in two weeks to set up a treatment plan. She thinks I have PTSD. So yeah. There’s that.
Love Yourself. in Thoughts.
I’ve spent so much of my life hearing that I need to love myself. To the point that when I was younger, I believed I hated myself. For the past few years, I’ve worked hard to improve my life. I...
.. half asleep thoughts in Thoughts.
on one hand, I’m afraid that I’m outgrowing you. On the other, I wonder if you’re outgrowing me. Or maybe this is all in my head. ....so unclear.
I used to be okay... (poem) in Thoughts.
I am angry. In my soul, waves are crashing against rocks, wind is thrashing against trees, and my chest feels like it just can’t breathe. I used to be okay. I am worried. Control is lost and e...
RANT- really you dont want to read. haha in Thoughts.
WHY is it SO hard to just do your job? Literally. Just. Do. Your. Job. I’m getting sick and tired of my bakers right now. People telling me they need to leave before their scheduled end time. P...
Inside of me is chaos in Thoughts.
And I’m trying, trying so hard not to break.
I really just don't have a good title... in Thoughts.
I gave you the power to hurt me, and you did. Over and over and over, this has been my life. Why do I set myself up to be broken? Why do I feel like some people are safe? Nothing is safe. How d...
Different perspectives.. in Thoughts.
What hurts me, hurts you, which hurts me.. and these lines we cross are made of lacking boundaries to begin with. And this pain we feel is from being shut in once open doors.. There are shadows...
Sometimes I am not sure if I have ridiculous expectations of my friends… but regardless I am considering backing WAY the fuck off of one of my friendships. I have considered S one of my best frie...
I’m left with nothing but confusion and lies… and sadness in your eyes. I hold my secrets in my heart, you hold my heart in your hands… and its breaking.
Confused... in Thoughts.
What if I’ve just been forcing this friendship? Maybe it was never meant to last....
I guess I've been really emotional lately... in Thoughts.
I am waves that will crash upon cliffs, broken fragments of rock, jutted into my gut, my own power slowly breaking away every little piece of land. I will turn rocks to sand. … my life is full of...
Brief catch up... in Thoughts.
I’ve gotten a few promotions in the past few months, and now I’m making over $6/hr more than a year ago. I had to buy a computer because now I have work emails and need excel and outlook and wor...
Everything I need. in Thoughts.
You are the breath behind a whisper, A lyrical exhale; You are the pause when arms wrap around, Afraid to then let go. You are the rush before a jump Into the unknown; You are everything I need....
Imperfection in Thoughts.
Your soul cannot fathom the depths of mine. My heart can’t understand the beat of yours. We live for empathy, but find ourselves lacking.... Imperfection is our truth. Imperfection is our beaut...
You are weak, and I am scissors and string… a needle pulling through all of the flaws that make you so imperfectly beautiful… Each stitch brings us closer to discovering we were never really...
You’re tearing apart all of the best parts of me, Leaving me lost in shadows. You’re ripping my heart, my mind, my body, to pieces… I am nothing but a shadow, in the glow of the moon, though ...
You painted pictures of silence, Twisted what was deemed Acceptable, And forced me to see myself As something less. You taught me I was never Good enough. But “good enough” is an illusion, And ...
Lies lies, everywhere... in Thoughts.
I am breaking from the weight Of trying to carry your soul, Your twisted baggage, Your shattered pieces stuffed Into pockets, cracks, and every visible orafice… I’m shaped into this twisted versi...
My grandfather is in the hospital. It isn’t looking good. Ugh.
