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Page 94 of 218

1.) Never thought I’d walk out of a movie thinking “I really really identified with Thor” but then here we are. 2.) Villains sacrifice others when expedient, heroes sacrifice themselves when nece...

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1.) A first-person-shooter video game about Cain trying to kill Abel with a bow and arrow called FIRST PERSON-SHOOTER. 2.) If you’re looking to tear down an exploitive power structure just to rep...

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1.) An all-diabetic punk band called The Bleeding Pricks. 2.) Of course superheroes don’t stay dead. Why would they? They come back because we can’t. We need something that can come back, even if...

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1.) The top food critic in Houston should get the title “The Houston Gastronome”. 2.) Decency is not a static trait, even to call it a virtue is to oddly diminish it. Decency is a muscle, a muscl...

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1.) Sunday driving at sunset Easter night, red skies at my back, a rainbow in front of me, the haziest vaguest rainbow you ever saw but a rainbow nonetheless and that’s also how I felt. 2.) They ...

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I’ve been falling asleep in my dreams a lot, as of late. I don’t mean that I’ve been beginning to dream at the start of sleep, I mean that I’ve been having dreams where I fall asleep inside them ...

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1.) The train at the end of the tunnel sees you as a darkness in the terrifying agoraphobic great wide open. 2.) The biggest lie in telling a story is pretending that you the teller are not there...

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retrieve your grimoire, Prospero sunken to the seabed as if some clipper-ship by tempest tossed descendant Milanesi money men ascend against you yet again more monstrous than any beast ...

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1.) Humanity’s greatest skill, what arguably “separates” us from other animals, is our ability to apt to what there is to adapt to, to change our tools, our thinking, ourselves to new situations....

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1.) The hungry mermaids waited for more with baited breath. 2.) The story of the emergency replacement Santa “Christmas Steve”. 3.) Somehow I got to 39 before realizing that the comic actor name...

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1.) Every week, someone comments on how they didn’t notice I was somewhere, something I actually take pride in, while I am not stealthy for a normal person, I’m very stealthy for a giant oaf, I d...

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1.) The awfulness of raisins is the market-inefficiency in baked-goods Moneyball. Take any food-stuff with raisins in it, remove the raisins and suddenly you have a delicious food undervalued for...

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1.) Woke up singing a song that mashed STP’s “Sex Type Thing” and the Popeye theme together, as predicated on the “I am what I am, I am” overlap and… decided to go back to sleep. 2.) A soft reboo...

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1.) The congressperson with the worst manners gets to chair the Inappropriations Committee. 2.) Why do they call it “the scared straight program” when they could call it “prehabilitation”? 3.) Th...

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1.) A parody of that r&b song Crossroads about crossbows? 2.) Coachella seems like such a roiling hell of affluence, effluence and influence that no matter how great the concerts were, it wou...

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1.) Meathead cop on the local news says fent-laced pot is a reason to not legalize marijuana, even though legal regulated marijuana is EXACTLY how you drive sketchy laced-weed out of the marketpl...

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1.) When you realize that youtube is a secret werewolf conspiracy because they all want you to “lycan subscribe”. 2.) I mean, you could write a parody of Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon” about the Disn...

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Frank’s earliest memory was as a toddler of a mere fourteen, his species’ equivalent of three. His parents went off into the other room to talk to the local healers about his stunted growth, “he ...

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1.) “Will I still be myself when I am a butterfly,” the caterpillar asked “or will I be dead and the butterfly just takes my place?” as he entered his existential chrysalis. 2.) I had the dream a...

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1.) Sell giant omelettes under the name “omes”. Who’s gonna stop you? NOBODY. 2.) I feel like we could put together a pretty strong “90s Rock - Everyone In The Band But The One You Wanted To See”...

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1.) A parody of “Jolene” about how gross poutine is? “Poutine, poutine, pou-tine, POU-TINE, why use gravy to ruin good cheese fries?” 2.) A pro-vax rap about measles vaccinations to the tune of t...

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1.) Who hamburgles the hamburglemen? Ask not for whom the ham burgles. It burgles for thee. 2.) The Maltese Falcon hatched from an egg maguffin. 3.) The main problem with writing a parody of Tot...

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1.) Why call it Italian red wine when you can call it “Naples Syrup”? 2.) Put Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog together and every time a bell rings, maybe you die. 3.) You will perform metal s...

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1.) Half-man, half-fish, all death. Jeffery Dahmermaid. 2.) I mean, yeah, we could write a parody of the Guess Who’s “American Woman” about Oktoberfest and call it Bavarian Woman. It would never ...

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1.) Your musical about a nun with synesthesia on the run from Nazis will be called THE TASTE OF MUSIC. 2.) The site was crawling with stock brokers, it was full investation, the place was doomed....

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