littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,442
Page 83 of 218
nov 14 in idea barrages
If I owned a minor league sports team in Macon Georgia, I would definitely call them the Macon Love. A Star Wars branded footrace called The Darth Maul Half-Marathon. If you get really cons...
nov 13 in idea barrages
If your clothes spontaneously generate as you take them off, you are a Moebius stripper. A parody of Centerfield about the hell that is flight entirely predicated on the double meaning of the...
nov 12 in idea barrages
Evolutionary Skills For The 21st Century: The Ability To Figure Out How To Get To A Live Operator. I hope some people who know Rainn Wilson call him Rainn “The Doc” Wilson. They’ll use your...
nov 11 in idea barrages
Upton Abbey gonna give it to ya (ooh) Upton Abbey gonna give it to ya (ooh) It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you see through the false dichotomy of winning and losing. In an alter...
nov 10 in idea barrages
I wish I could tell you how to kick higher but I’m no Rockette scientist. Some day, you will see an aged Paulie Shore grooming his front yard. When that moment comes, you are to scream “GARDE...
mirror in the sky in poetry
the moon doesn’t know you the moon doesn’t know you look up to it for a light out there in the darkness the moon doesn’t know itself does not think about how it reflects the sun any more ...
the bail-out in poetry
I look up to the sky sometimes these days and ask “the bail-out’s never coming for me, is it, Dad?” by bail-out, I mean, you know, something like the lotto the big check, the windfall, the G...
nov 9 in idea barrages
Usually when heroes crossover, you have to really stretch to create a misunderstanding that results in them initially fighting but considering Mario dwells in the sewers murdering turtles, his ...
nov 8 in idea barrages
A Star Trek third-person shooter game called GEARS OF WORF. Your 50s rock/doo-wop band that sings about horror movies will be called “Freddie and the Kruegers”. Your pastry chef rap group w...
nov 7 in idea barrages
Eventually, there should’ve been a raid on McDonaldland by Mechagrimace. On the run from the mob, Whoopi Goldberg goes into witness protection as a septic system repair woman in CISTERN ACT. ...
nov 6 in idea barrages
A grand opening flier still up in a window for a business across town that’s already shut down. The window is for a shop that’s now closed too. Trumps America. If you say “fresh starts” 20 ti...
it was funny once but only a little bit back when we would say things like “I’m just putting off success until I’ve built up enough experience and humility, my failures have all been ...
nov 5 in idea barrages
I mean, maybe this IS my best life. Not rich, not famous, staying busy, doing good where I can for who I can, a sort of secular circuit rider trying to spread the word on loving yourself throug...
nov 4 in idea barrages
A collection of poems that are responses to rejection letters called Dejection Letters. It seems my interview last week went well and I am starting another part-time job tomorrow. I am a very...
keyword: vanity, title: Ecclesiastes 1-3 in "sasquatch of los angeles" flash fiction
Frank broke with academic orthodoxy on the subject of skin-ape culture in many ways but most importantly on the question of whether humans were anything other than an evolutionary cul-de-sac, fea...
nov 3 in idea barrages
Ghost summoning is really just visitation rites. Yes, Columbus Day is racist as hell toward Native Americans but, as a minor side-bar, it’s also racist against Italian-Americans because they ...
nov 2 in idea barrages
Ah yes, throwing Namor the Submariner at the bad guys. The trident true approach. Your intentionally-mediocre Radiohead cover band will be called Adequate Computer. Usually, she uses a deep...
all hallows barrage in idea barrages
Sell a knock-off salad dressing called Randy Newman’s Own. Your talent baking rich eggy braided breads will land you in the challah fame. If anime superfans are called “weeaboos” are Ren Fe...
halloween barrage in idea barrages
An Alaskan rapper building a song around the line “I’M NOT A SLEDDER, I JUST MUSH A LOT!” Our lack of a horror movie called GOOD WILL HAUNTING concerns me. You always hear about outlaw coun...
keyword: hollow, title: the hollow man in misc. flash fiction
At first, I was ecstatic, I couldn’t believe that they picked me. I mean, I was nothing out of the ordinary, maybe a little bigger than the others but what in the hell could that count for? But f...
oct 30 in idea barrages
You will do bonkers psychedelic covers of classic country songs under the stage name “Hank Zappa”. The most Instagram food ever would be quinoa topped with edible glitter and called “Yas Quee...
oct 29 in idea barrages
The introduction of botox didn’t make headlines. If you save an ornate cabinet from the thrift store, is that a salvation armoire? The forest was destroyed due to poplar demand. Chocolate...
oct 28 in idea barrages
Dungeons and Dragons has a new wizard of Onomancy, the magic of true names, which is cool but I first read it as “Onanmancy” which would be… uh… a much more interesting way of conjuring. Your...
oct 27 in idea barrages
Why say “this hangover gave me diarrhea” when you can instead say “I have fecal alcohol syndrome”? The phrase “mental health professional” is weird, I dunno. As if there is anything wrong wit...
oct 26 in idea barrages
Maybe the REAL poorly-written sitcom fondly remembered only because people were sexually attracted to the cast was the FRIENDS we made along the way. Depressed Rorschach is all “YOU THINK I’M...
