littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,440
Page 172 of 218
America went to bed business-casual America woke up a business-casualty that’s the business of business you see that’s the sad business causality. We got embedded to witness ...
23 in idea barrages
1.) “This medicine will help you with asthma! WARNING: may cause you to die of asthma.” America. 2.) The cat does not realize that I am slightly allergic to him and that past a certain point, he ...
22 in idea barrages
1.) If you think I’m grumpy about not being able to find a day job, boy howdy, I am a typhoon of resentment on a diet. Oh Lord. 2.) The snuggle is real. Or, anyway, it would be. 3.) Banksy is too...
If your superpower is failure, all you gotta do is jump and fail to land suddenly you’re flying. If your superpower is failure, all you gotta do is try to...
21 in idea barrages
1.) He didn’t like his lovers too too thin, he liked their thighs as thick as sin. 2.) Rommel The Third, you magnificent bastard, I read your tweets! 3.) Some practice monogamy because it is thei...
to the tune of livin' on a prayer in song parodies
Tommy reads the news on his phone… some union’s on strike they’re down on his luck… “it’s tough” he thinks… “so tough” Gina works her memes all day… working instagram socially engage...
relocation in poetry
You get on the bus to L.A. because you think you’re already perfect to be a star when you get off she disabuses you of those notions. You go to New York City because you...
to the tune of wonderwall in song parodies
today is gonna be the day that they put me into surgery by now you should’ve somehow realized that I must be cleaned I don’t believe that anybody preps the way you do for surgery now ...
131 in idea barrages
1.) A barista themed wrestler with moves like The French Press and The Red-Eye. 2.) You get on the bus to L.A. because you think you’re already perfect to be a star and when you get off, she disa...
130 in idea barrages
1.) Ponder what it really means to drive a car in your brand-new existential Chrysler. 2.) Money is also a social construct but that doesn’t make it go away either. There’s work to be done. 3.) M...
129 in idea barrages
1.) That tacky-ass “Don’t Tread On Me” flag that “militia” love is like a bad over-explained editorial cartoon in flag form. 2.) Bible thumpers & fascists decrying the “death of white culture...
after Sandy Hook in poetry
after Sandy Hook in any sane or loving nation we would’ve just started turning in our guns we would’ve just started destroying them all we would’ve had a smelting pit built in every maj...
128 in idea barrages
1.) TRUE CONFESSIONS: I still don’t know what the goddamn poke thing on facebook means or is for. 2.) I’m surprised that Uber and Lyft don’t call their oppressed gig-economy-serfs “Venture Carpoo...
grandma moses never had to be on TMZ in poetry
The later we succeed, the later we collapse into success-sheltered self-parody, this is our artistic covenant. We are better off without becoming Robert DeNiro taking ever...
when you bury something deep down inside realize that you are planting a seed consider the future yield and consider your future needs before you do that even when y...
127 in idea barrages
1.) We never found Carmen Sandiego because she dressed up as Where’s Waldo and slipped away forever. 2.) The later we succeed, the later we collapse into success-sheltered self-parody, this is ou...
126 in idea barrages
1.) Trump’s just mainstream G.O.P. I mean Cheney shot a guy and he stayed in power. 2.) I snuck a small Bowie reference into my tribute poem to Roger Smith, I hope neither of them minded. 3.) Our...
The only way to not be darned to Heck is to accept the love of Cripes into your life. You’re gonna be in deep poop without Cripes, you will be straight-up freaked in the butt. Cripes ...
the track palin blues in poetry
when did it become patriotic to hate the best things about America? our public schools, our infrastructure our attempts to be a real melting pot? why do these open-carry open-thr...
124 in idea barrages
1.) FAKE FACT: the alma mater song at Iona College is a slightly reworked version of Primus’ “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver”. 2.) Haven’t grown my beard out this much in a long time, I forgot about t...
123 in idea barrages
1.) When you’re waiting for your epidural to kick in, that’s the spinal countdown, d-d-dun-dun d-d-dun-dun-dun. 2.) UNPOPULAR OPINION: I LIKE Ford’s bored voice-over reading at the end of Bladeru...
map to the stars' homes in poetry
They build Potemkin Villages of success to sell degrees and get cheap assistants for a little while until they’re disposed of Panorama City wants to pretend that its Van Nuys and Van Nuys...
122 in idea barrages
1.) GAMIFY YOUR PARADIGM. BE THIRSTY FOR FLEEK RETURN ON INVESTMENT. ABANDON LANGUAGE ENTIRELY FOR A SALAD OF RECENT JARGON. 2.) Orange Julius used to have a companion restaurant Orange Ethel but...
We’re losing these geniuses so fast, someone’s gonna have to step up, there’s not even a choice now, but now it just has to be us. I know, right? It sucks. I sure as hell don’t feel ready,...
121 in idea barrages
1.) Burger King, when you call them “Golden Nuggets” it is a suspicious evasion. What percentage of these things are silly putty? 2.) Doubt keeps you honest but too much doubt keeps you quiet. It...
