littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
Page 174 of 219
127 in idea barrages
1.) We never found Carmen Sandiego because she dressed up as Where’s Waldo and slipped away forever. 2.) The later we succeed, the later we collapse into success-sheltered self-parody, this is ou...
126 in idea barrages
1.) Trump’s just mainstream G.O.P. I mean Cheney shot a guy and he stayed in power. 2.) I snuck a small Bowie reference into my tribute poem to Roger Smith, I hope neither of them minded. 3.) Our...
The only way to not be darned to Heck is to accept the love of Cripes into your life. You’re gonna be in deep poop without Cripes, you will be straight-up freaked in the butt. Cripes ...
the track palin blues in poetry
when did it become patriotic to hate the best things about America? our public schools, our infrastructure our attempts to be a real melting pot? why do these open-carry open-thr...
124 in idea barrages
1.) FAKE FACT: the alma mater song at Iona College is a slightly reworked version of Primus’ “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver”. 2.) Haven’t grown my beard out this much in a long time, I forgot about t...
123 in idea barrages
1.) When you’re waiting for your epidural to kick in, that’s the spinal countdown, d-d-dun-dun d-d-dun-dun-dun. 2.) UNPOPULAR OPINION: I LIKE Ford’s bored voice-over reading at the end of Bladeru...
map to the stars' homes in poetry
They build Potemkin Villages of success to sell degrees and get cheap assistants for a little while until they’re disposed of Panorama City wants to pretend that its Van Nuys and Van Nuys...
122 in idea barrages
1.) GAMIFY YOUR PARADIGM. BE THIRSTY FOR FLEEK RETURN ON INVESTMENT. ABANDON LANGUAGE ENTIRELY FOR A SALAD OF RECENT JARGON. 2.) Orange Julius used to have a companion restaurant Orange Ethel but...
We’re losing these geniuses so fast, someone’s gonna have to step up, there’s not even a choice now, but now it just has to be us. I know, right? It sucks. I sure as hell don’t feel ready,...
121 in idea barrages
1.) Burger King, when you call them “Golden Nuggets” it is a suspicious evasion. What percentage of these things are silly putty? 2.) Doubt keeps you honest but too much doubt keeps you quiet. It...
letter to myself 2 in poetry
I’ve gotten better at turning frustration into grief instead of anger and that’s better for others and yet I don’t know if that’s actually better for me. Doubt kee...
the bird is the word in poetry
Creative success is a desert bird and I’m a charred flattened coyote but I will still strap that goddamned giant bottle-rocket to my back again. Making money off words ...
FAKE FACTS in poetry
FAKE FACT: No one wore underwear on the set of COMMANDO. FAKE FACT: early woks contained high levels of mercury, driving chefs slowly mad and coining the phrase “stir crazy”. FAKE ...
120 in idea barrages
1.) I hate how we call mercenaries “contractors” now like they’re architects in the little trailers behind construction sites. 2.) Overuse of Fireball is threatening biodiversity for the Dungeons...
letter to myself in poetry
Story is the negotiator between truth and madness and dreams are just full-life reviews transposed into metaphoric load, the keys to turning it around in unbreakable incomprehensible code, ...
and the oscar goes to in poetry
I met Oscar Wilde once at a cafe in Brooklyn he’d time-traveled there to see what the future was like nobody blinked at his attire everyone’s trying to dress like they’re from some other ti...
tell us about New York before Walt Disney took all the good peep shows made them shut their doors tell us about way back when we still protested wars tell us about Haight-A...
my best barrage ever in idea barrages
1.) If the Democratic Debates were Gilligan’s Island, O’Malley would just be called “And The Rest”. 2.) An app for lumberjacks looking for casual encounters with each other called Timbr. 3.) A pa...
118 in idea barrages
1.) I still don’t know how PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES exploded as a premise and not JANE AUSTEN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL WOMAN OF BORING. 2.) Nightmares last night involved being naked in p...
117 in idea barrages
1.) If you don’t believe that they dump all the crap movies in January, watch the trailers for “50 Shades of Black” and “The Boy”. 2.) We’re losing all these geniuses so fast, someone’s gonna hav...
116 in idea barrages
1.) We joked for decades “here’s proof that Western Civilization is done” & then the Trump candidacy came along & it wasn’t funny anymore. 2.) “Where’s Superman?” the Martian Manhunter as...
tune of danke schoen in song parodies
(for the anniversary of my favourite cafe…) Tramontane, darling, Tramontane thank you for bagels filled with grains music shows, seven feet from me where the drums kept beat vintage seat, brown...
115 in idea barrages
1.) If someone’s annoying you, just whip around and be all “WHAT’S YOUR BEEF, STEW?” 2.) When you start expanding your paid insult business, you’re gonna end up diss enfranchised. 3.) With the lo...
114 in idea barrages
1.) One myth about militia douches is they call themselves “minutemen” because of revolutionary history as opposed to their sexual dysfunction. 2.) Mainstream successful bands never really “break...
113 in idea barrages
1.) I wonder if Christopher Walken ever used the pick-up line “Let your fingers do the Walken.” 2.) The Oscar Wilde-themed stand-up comedy set was totally bombing, his forehead was covered in fop...
