Entries 45

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Blah. Today is the day I start group therapy and Im not sure about it. I feel like im going to throw up and my heart is racing. Fingers crossed it goes well.

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The last few days I’ve been having more good days then bad. Finally got paid so not so broke. I’m feeling more even since I’ve started back on my meds and I got my license back so I’m able to dr...

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Started back on my meds. I forgot how gross they can make me feel. I feel dizzy and fuzzy and slugish. Thankfulky this won’t last and it’ll be worth it in the end. Is it some twisted that the med...

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I could seriously hurt him right now. He goes out last night for a beer with his buddy for his birthday. Well apparently that 1 beer turned into a 24. 4am this morning he gets home, brings his bu...

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I hate going to bed alone. I thought this relationship would be different but it seems that it’s turning into the other. I get up alone. All day I feel like I’m competing for his attention wethe...

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I just need to make it through the next 2 days but it feels impossible. I hate having no money. We are low on food, I can’t do laundry. I’m exhausted from stressing about everything. But atleast ...

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I’m babysitting this week and its making me miss when my girls were this small.. I have baby fever bad. I need another one.

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I’m so frustrated with my kids father or who i usually refer to as the sperm donor. He barely pays child support. And by barely I mean I’ve received 2 payments in the last year. He also barely pu...

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It’s Friday night and I’m sitting at home alone. My kids have gone with their father… My guy is at work. I’m not technically alone, the dog and cats are here but 2 out of 3 hate me. I miss having...

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Everyday is the same. I wake up. Get the kids ready for school. Spend the day cleaning or napping or doing nothing. I feel trapped in this tiny apartment. I have no friends. I cut ties with them ...

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My mother wants my kids to live with her. I admit that I am not the greatest mother. I can’t buy them everything they want. I struggle with my mental health everyday. Our apartment is tiny and cr...

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I’m pretty fucked up today. My kids are spending the night away. This makes me feel like shit. I’m feeling unwanted. So much so that I’m bothered that my cats refuse to allow me to pet them and...

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Today is my niece’s birthday party. Miss B is turning 6 and she is quite the girl. Miss B has a rare eye condition called Achromatopsia but it def hasn’t slowed her down any. She is the most happ...

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Valentine’s day. Such a silly holiday. I know this but deep down I’m still disappointed. I’ve never truly celebrated Valentine’s day beyond celebrating it with my kids. I’ve never gone on a rom...

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Gah. I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind. I’m slipping into a depression again. All I want to do is sleep. Sleep is my escape from reality. When I’m sleeping my mind is shut down and I stop ob...

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I was sexually assaulted twice. Now after reading secret #3 most are probably skeptical about this one. I dont blame you if you are. The first time it happened I was hanging out with a guy that I...

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I am a sex addict. This probably stems from my relationship with my ex and also common with someone with BPD (Borderline personality disorder). Ever since I became sexually active when I was 16, ...

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I used to self harm. I have been struggling with depression since I was 14-15 which stems from a dysfunctional childhood to say the least. One of the ways I would cope with the stress of everythi...

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I was sexually manipulated/abused by my ex for 10 years. I fell in love with a narcissistic sociopath. I met him when I was 17 and was in a very bad place in my life. He made me feel special and...

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I am angry. At least that’s the best way for me to describe how I feel. Having borderline personality disorder makes it difficult for me to identify how I feel. Up until recently I didn’t know th...

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